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Clips from American Dad! - Return of the Bling (S05E05)

"# The sun in the sky has a smile on his face #"
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. # [Grunts]"
American Dad!
"Ar-a-gorn."
American Dad!
"No one gave me a chance."
American Dad!
"Can you believe me and this group of "jagoffs" won the gold?"
American Dad!
"In that game versus Sweden, I was inside one of their forwards for, like, a minute."
American Dad!
"I don't write back. What am I afraid of?"
American Dad!
"I said take that off!"
American Dad!
"Hey, Francine! Give Reggie some sugar."
American Dad!
"Anyway, these mother zeros at the C. I.A. got me running around."
American Dad!
"I just got back from Tangier. That is some country-ass country."
American Dad!
"Tastes like butt coming out of some teat."
American Dad!
""Hell, no! It's 150 degrees! Can I get a damn ice cube?" Um..."
American Dad!
"I just threw it in with my jeans."
American Dad!
"I'm going to dinner with my boyfriend, lan."
American Dad!
"[All] Chex!"
American Dad!
"Just in time, Chex. They're about to show some of our old game footage."
American Dad!
"[All Cheering]"
American Dad!
"I can't believe it."
American Dad!
"Dad, he's still the same Roger!"
American Dad!
"Ooh! I am steaming, boy."
American Dad!
"Ooh!"
American Dad!
"Here, take my gun and shoot me through the cheek."
American Dad!
"- Stan, I am not going to- - [Gunshot]"
American Dad!
"Nonsense. You just gave me another hole for your glory to shine through."
American Dad!
"I want to change that. I want to be your friend."
American Dad!
"That's why I'm taking you to Shaggy, Hayley. "Hayley!""
American Dad!
"So Mike Eruzione and I decided to pull a prank on our teammates."
American Dad!
"we sneak into the locker room and rub muscle ointment inside all the helmets, right?"
American Dad!
"Eruzione and I forgot which helmets were ours..."
American Dad!
"How are you playing so well?"
American Dad!
"But you know what? Worth it."
American Dad!
"# Do do do do, do do do Byoo-byoo #"
American Dad!
"Roger was on steroids the whole time."
American Dad!
"Why do you keep lying to them?"
American Dad!
"You're a Secret Service man."
American Dad!
"But there's nothing noble about this."
American Dad!
"The only time my hands get dirty is when I drop my sandwich in the toilet bowl."
American Dad!
"Precious is "ourses.""
American Dad!
"[Clinking]"
American Dad!
"# She call me Mr. Bombastic Very fantastic #"
American Dad!
"Yo, man! Apologize to the lady!"
American Dad!
"Yeah!"
American Dad!
"- [Man #1] Damn! - [Man #2] Holy moly!"
American Dad!
"Say it so all these nice people can hear you."
American Dad!
"- Wow! No one's ever stood up for me like that before. - No?"
American Dad!
"Well, it's not easy to beat down a fool and still look..."
American Dad!
"Master wants to take the Precious from us. You mean the medal?"
American Dad!
"Wow, look at you! You are brassy!"
American Dad!
"When they go in, they won't comes back out!"
American Dad!
"[Stan] Roger, you're alive!"
American Dad!
"No. It looks really bad."
American Dad!
"Well, fuck you."
American Dad!
"- Fantastic! - That's great, Roger!"
American Dad!
"No! No! I need my wits!"
American Dad!
"Don't give up, Stan."
American Dad!
"[Screams]"
American Dad!
"You lying, thieving cheater!"
American Dad!
"No! They're so horny!"
American Dad!
"So we're at the restaurant and lan plucks a hair out of my head..."
American Dad!
"What you need to be doing is dating a grown-ass man."
American Dad!
"- Good night, Hayley. - Good night, Reggie."
American Dad!
"No, I don't. But I have to respect Rhonda."
American Dad!
"But I want you to know two things."
American Dad!
"There it is!"
American Dad!
"Yeah. So that's not real fire."
American Dad!
"Hey, what you guys doing?"
American Dad!
"[Gasps]"
American Dad!
"about the 1980 men's U.S. hockey team."
American Dad!
"The Miracle on Ice franchise keeps the lights on in this place."
American Dad!
"Get your asses in this tub right now!"
American Dad!
"[Growls]"
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"# I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day #"
American Dad!
"# And he's shining a salute to the American race #"
American Dad!
"# Oh, boy it's swell to say #"
American Dad!
"[Chorus] # Good morning, U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"Dad, check it out! I got a B-plus on my essay about my personal hero!"
American Dad!
"Legolas from Lord of the Rings."
American Dad!
"Le-go-las."
American Dad!
"Yeah. He helps Aragorn conquer the..."
American Dad!
"Yeah. He's an elf. And-And he- Hey!"
American Dad!
"That's not a hero, Steve. A hero is someone you worship and emulate."
American Dad!
"I assume you got such a high grade..."
American Dad!
"because your teacher thought you were trying to come out to her and wanted to be supportive."
American Dad!
"But Legolas is cool. He can shoot arrows."
American Dad!
"His feet scarcely make imprints on the snow. He..."
American Dad!
"They've got to be real, okay? Heroes have got to be real people!"
American Dad!
"I'm, um..."
American Dad!
"I'm ready to pretend I'm going to school..."
American Dad!
"if someone wants to pretend to see my bus outside."
American Dad!
"- ##["National Anthem"] - These are my heroes, Son. Real heroes."
American Dad!
"Ronald Reagan and the 1980 Miracle on Ice U.S. hockey team."
American Dad!
"1980 was the best year of my life."
American Dad!
"Ronald Reagan became president and the U.S. hockey team overcame enormous odds..."
American Dad!
"to beat the Russians and win Olympic gold."
American Dad!
"And my Cabbage Patch Kid, Woodrow, was born in the cabbage patch on September 1."
American Dad!
"He's not one of my heroes. He's just been my best friend since, like, forever."
American Dad!
"These men saved me!"
American Dad!
"I was born into an upper middle-class white family in the suburbs."
American Dad!
"But I saw these men, these underdogs, rise up and beat the odds."
American Dad!
"And they inspired me to climb out of the cul-de-sac and make something of my life!"
American Dad!
"That's what a hero is, Steve. Someone whose example you can follow."
American Dad!
"## [Whistling]"
American Dad!
"Hey, look at that."
American Dad!
"- What are you talking about? - That's me. Chex Lemeneux."
American Dad!
"See? That's my finger. And there's my perfect apple-shaped bottom."
American Dad!
"Well, love to stay and chat, but I already had half this coffee and matters are afoot."
American Dad!
"- Aah! - You lazy, selfish, no-good drunk!"
American Dad!
"How dare you claim to be one of the greatest men ever to walk this earth!"
American Dad!
"I know who Chex Lemeneux is, and you're not him!"
American Dad!
"That's 'cause you're not seeing me in my outfit."
American Dad!
"Yeah! Recognize me now?"
American Dad!
"Mustache courtesy of an L.L. Bean mannequin name of Frederick."
American Dad!
"Ah, an alien and a mannequin. What were we thinking? We were young."
American Dad!
"I'm telling you, I was the agitator, the enforcer, the goon."
American Dad!
"He still writes me."
American Dad!
"Fine. You don't believe me? I'll prove it to you!"
American Dad!
"No. I don't like to think about you. It's confusing."
American Dad!
"That's when the team gets together to reminisce."
American Dad!
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