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Clips from Letterkenny - Fartbook (S01E01)

"What about it, bigshits?"
Letterkenny
"I miss it too, three‐point shoes."
Letterkenny
"Too much, likely."
Letterkenny
"It was very addicting."
Letterkenny
"Except, did you ever really stop to think about one thing, did you?"
Letterkenny
"Rippin' farts into your computer doesn't exactly"
Letterkenny
"STEWART: Hey!"
Letterkenny
"Just wanted to let you know that Glen stole our website."
Letterkenny
"Hey! Hey! Fuck it!"
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: (EXCLAIMS) Oh! Fuck's sake. Jesus!"
Letterkenny
"(GROANS) Fucking sort yourselves out."
Letterkenny
"GLEN: Cheese and rice."
Letterkenny
"Or can I?"
Letterkenny
"You stole our idea. Hmm..."
Letterkenny
"Are you referring to Christian Fart Mingle?"
Letterkenny
"What's that?"
Letterkenny
"It's like Christian Mingle, but for farts."
Letterkenny
"DARYL: We asked your help with our idea"
Letterkenny
"(STUTTERING) I didn't... Excuse... Oh, my God."
Letterkenny
"Those are some hairy allegations you are firing, at my face."
Letterkenny
"How?"
Letterkenny
"Because the last time I checked,"
Letterkenny
"taking advantage of a growing trend was not stealing."
Letterkenny
"What trend? I'll tell you."
Letterkenny
"Look, y'all had a good idea, all right?"
Letterkenny
"You had a terrific idea. Congratulations."
Letterkenny
"What are you talking about?"
Letterkenny
"I'm talking about Fart culture, Stewart. It's all the rage."
Letterkenny
"You know... Nothing..."
Letterkenny
"Glen will show you."
Letterkenny
"Ever heard of Plenty of Farts?"
Letterkenny
"I've heard of Plenty of Fish."
Letterkenny
"It's very much like that, except for farts."
Letterkenny
"It's called Fart Filter."
Letterkenny
"And I like it because you can put different filters on all of your farts and it's fun."
Letterkenny
"So, yeah, I'll just show you how it works."
Letterkenny
"This one, no filter. Nothing."
Letterkenny
"Who cares? Not Glen, right?"
Letterkenny
"Vanilla. Pedestrian... I'm not interested."
Letterkenny
"However, shove that baby through the Hudson filter..."
Letterkenny
"What's she gonna sound like?"
Letterkenny
"Now there's a renovation."
Letterkenny
"the filter that I invented myself. I call it..."
Letterkenny
"Wow."
Letterkenny
"Y'all are too slow. Slow on the uptake."
Letterkenny
"Tomorrow's gonna be a great day for hay."
Letterkenny
"If you can be a man at night, you can be a man in the morning."
Letterkenny
"Wayne, how come you didn't join Fartbook?"
Letterkenny
"'Cause you're not supposed to fart in front of girls. What?"
Letterkenny
"There's certain things that should stay sacred between a man and a woman."
Letterkenny
"So, all things considered, this whole thing's pretty fucking juvenile,"
Letterkenny
"if I do say so myself."
Letterkenny
"If she's always listening to your ass acoustics,"
Letterkenny
"or even worse, smellin' 'em,"
Letterkenny
"What you just said is outrageous."
Letterkenny
"No it isn't. It's true."
Letterkenny
"I don't wanna be smelling a dude's ass all the time. Get real."
Letterkenny
"What are you? Some kind of fart purist?"
Letterkenny
"Or take a shit, you fuckin' degenerate."
Letterkenny
"Speaking of shit,"
Letterkenny
"my second cousin's got IBS."
Letterkenny
"Who, Garrett? No, Jarett."
Letterkenny
"DAN: No. IBS, the International Business Solution?"
Letterkenny
"IBS stands for Irritable Bowel Syndromes."
Letterkenny
"Anyhoo, when he was a kid, Jackass comes out on the air,"
Letterkenny
"They calls that guerrilla shittin'."
Letterkenny
"Is this a true story?"
Letterkenny
"So, he became real popular with his friends,"
Letterkenny
"They'd call him up when they get an idea"
Letterkenny
"of a place that needed a shits taken in,"
Letterkenny
"Anyhow, this one time his pal texts him up,"
Letterkenny
"So, he drinks a coffee, eats a bran muffin,"
Letterkenny
"heads on down to the washroom there,"
Letterkenny
"right there in the middle of the bathroom floor."
Letterkenny
"And that's how he met his lovely Eunice."
Letterkenny
"With all due respect, Miss Katy,"
Letterkenny
"there is a market for gentlemens what can find ladies who like, uh, farts,"
Letterkenny
"or shits, or even guerrilla shittin's."
Letterkenny
"That is not a true story."
Letterkenny
"That is a true story."
Letterkenny
"God help us all."
Letterkenny
"You know what, I don't know why you guys need everybody knowing your business anyway."
Letterkenny
"Like why you gotta put everything on the internet, while you're doing it,"
Letterkenny
"Well, if you don't puts it on the internet,"
Letterkenny
"how's gonna people know what you did?"
Letterkenny
"Should be playing your cards close to your chest."
Letterkenny
"Keep the ladies guessin' a little bit. Be the mystery man."
Letterkenny
"Not really sure I want one."
Letterkenny
"Well, then it's a good thing you's two have each other."
Letterkenny
"Got a bit banged up after work the other day..."
Letterkenny
"You boys ever had a peanut butter sandwich?"
Letterkenny
"So any other insights for us?"
Letterkenny
"(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)"
Letterkenny
"That right there was an air biscuit."
Letterkenny
"Well there's nothing better than a fart."
Letterkenny
"And your friends' farts."
Letterkenny
"MEN: Fartbook."
Letterkenny
"You gots a better idea?"
Letterkenny
"me and the cousins, just standing there in the kitchen"
Letterkenny
"having a beer watching Pete hang a piss down his own basement stairs."
Letterkenny
"But, drop the "The." Just, Fartbook. It's cleaner."
Letterkenny
"No. Why not?"
Letterkenny
"Beggars can't be choosers."
Letterkenny
"Fartbook."
Letterkenny
"STEWART: Ready?"
Letterkenny
"Oh, very nice."
Letterkenny
"The Ginger fucked an ostrich."
Letterkenny
"We could find someone,"
Letterkenny
"(FARTING CONTINUES)"
Letterkenny
"(FART RECORDINGS PLAYING)"
Letterkenny
"Good and you? Not so bad."
Letterkenny
"Okay. Let's listen."
Letterkenny
"So it's like, if I didn't send it, then I'd be stuck having bad shaboink forever."
Letterkenny
"And I enjoy a horizontal refreshment for my vertical smile"
Letterkenny
"What the fuck are you looking at, you fuckin' pilon?"
Letterkenny
"(CHUCKLES) Guys."
Letterkenny
"Allons‐y."
Letterkenny
"Are we though?"
Letterkenny
"without making a few sharts."
Letterkenny
"Exactly."
Letterkenny
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