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Clips from The Simpsons - Much Apu About Something (S27E27)

"Word. And I was kind of a douche wheel."
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"I have nothing to scratch it with."
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"Use me, Apu."
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"Sheldon..."
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"It is a winner, and it is so much money,"
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"It will be refilled by me,"
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"for free, for the rest of your life."
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"Ah, about three bucks."
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"This time it's 'cause I let Ralph drive."
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"Isn't he magnificent?"
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"You bet we are!"
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"Come to Springfield."
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"we will unveil our new state-of-the-art statue"
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"Luigi's on-a Main-a Street."
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"Artist's conception of the original statue design,"
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"Your statue may vary."
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"Please, Dad."
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"Can we? Can we? Can we?"
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"It's not gonna be as good as you think."
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"Nothing ever is."
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"Can we? Can we? Can we?"
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"This is my favorite part of the parade,"
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"Ah, one tube of sunblock."
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"Once again, keeping the bald man down."
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"I do have a Philadelphia 76ers hat"
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"that local wags have already dubbed "Quimby's Folly.""
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"brought to you by Springfield Auto Lube."
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"Chuck, Ernie, and Arturo are there for you."
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"This expensive urban pacification vehicle"
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"Thank you!"
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"And now Springfield's true heroes,"
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"Wait, what?"
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"Hey! Hey!"
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"This is the one good thing I do."
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"♪ You're simply the best... ♪"
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"Grabbing all our glory!"
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"I'm not sure, but I doubt it."
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"Hmm!"
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"I'm gonna hit 'em so hard"
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"their Dalmatian loses its spots, ha!"
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"Uh, they're-they're coming at us!"
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"Release our fiercest weapon--"
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"Who wants juice?"
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"I-I can't control this thing."
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"Oh, we're headed for the Kwik-E-Mart."
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"just what is in these nudie magazines."
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"What is it, brother?"
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"An interview with Jim Gaffigan."
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"We are still alive."
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"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it."
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"You did do it, I saw you do it,"
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"Ay, caramba!"
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"You know what I'm gonna do?"
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"You can rot in jail."
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"The only time you'll come out is to see the dentist."
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"No, you can't be serious."
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"Well, there's only one other way."
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"Promise me!"
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"I promise."
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"Now say it like you're talking to a dying soldier"
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"who was with you all the way from D-Day,"
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"and you gotta take his Saint Christopher medal"
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"back to his mother."
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"I promise!"
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"Oh!"
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"Are you okay?"
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"I am a Hindu, sir, not a cat."
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"during some of which I may be a cat."
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"In those I do have nine."
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"I want to work somewhere else."
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"Listen to me, when I was hit with the sign,"
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"that was a sign."
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"Well, the way we abandoned our other brother."
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"What other brother?"
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"All I remember on that boat was you,"
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"the tiger, and the wise, old fox."
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"The fox was actually Tikku."
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"Oh, sweet, little Tikku, I blocked out the memory."
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"Oh, no!"
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"Tikku!"
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"Little Jamshed."
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"Oh, how he's grown."
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"I will especially miss"
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"during our wordless shift changes. Hm."
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"Unless they put another store within three blocks,"
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"And now to lower this photo to see what is really there."
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"Who spells "quick" with a "Q"?"
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"I just bitch-slapped your Kwik-E-Mart"
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"into the 21st century."
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"I added softer lighting."
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"Ah, Mrs. Peel, shall we?"
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"All they want is something they can eat while driving."
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"Somewhere between two and six blisters."
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"They're a heart attack shaped like a penis."
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"Mmm!"
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"He just eats things in that location."
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"Hey, quit talking like I can't hear."
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"Bubba Watson!"
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"You are no Vijay Singh."
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"Don't forget, my dad owned more of this place than you did."
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"Okay, can we move this discussion into the restroom?"
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"You have a restroom?"
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"No. No."
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"I saw the whole jam from my seat"
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"on top of the ATM machine."
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"You know what, I'm not gonna scratch this last one."
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"A smart man knows when to walk away."
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"They say don't scrape where you eat, but..."
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"in Kwik-E-Mart history."
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"$25."
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"Wow..."
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"Whoop, don't mind me."
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"He scratched and scratched, using..."
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"of the Quick & Ficky-Fresh and rising..."
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"Oh! Wolowitz."
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"Sorry, man, I'm retired."
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"Now to present my manhood to the sun."
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"Do you know how much imagination"
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"it costs to appear in a thought bubble?"
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"And you know what? A little part of me is glad"
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