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Clips from Family Guy - Dr. C and the Women (S13E13)

and ranch dressing, you fat !

"and ranch dressing, you fat !"

Family Guy

Everyone knows that, pound for pound, the Atlantic is the best ocean.

"Everyone knows that, pound for pound, the Atlantic is the best ocean."

Family Guy

"Pound for pound"?

""Pound for pound"?"

Family Guy

Yeah, scientists can. They're doing it all the time. Pick up a book.

"Yeah, scientists can. They're doing it all the time. Pick up a book."

Family Guy

Guys, guys... Let's stop escalatin' and take the stairs for a minute.

"Guys, guys... Let's stop escalatin' and take the stairs for a minute."

Family Guy

There's "What do you think it means?" "Pray on it, stay on it."

"There's "What do you think it means?" "Pray on it, stay on it.""

Family Guy

Yeah, Peter's right. I mean, it's not like you've found a job

"Yeah, Peter's right. I mean, it's not like you've found a job"

Family Guy

since you moved back here anyway.

"since you moved back here anyway."

Family Guy

Thanks for spotting my potential, Peter!

"Thanks for spotting my potential, Peter!"

Family Guy

Hey, Meg, you know Mr. Quagmire, right? Bye!

"Hey, Meg, you know Mr. Quagmire, right? Bye!"

Family Guy

That seems optimistic. But look, if you want to make real money,

"That seems optimistic. But look, if you want to make real money,"

Family Guy

Hmm.

"Hmm."

Family Guy

Is it possible you're not letting yourself be happy?

"Is it possible you're not letting yourself be happy?"

Family Guy

Maybe your accomplishments don't feel real

"Maybe your accomplishments don't feel real"

Family Guy

because your brother isn't here to see them.

"because your brother isn't here to see them."

Family Guy

You don't want to outshine your father.

"You don't want to outshine your father."

Family Guy

Okay, now, see? She didn't say "good morning" to me,

"Okay, now, see? She didn't say "good morning" to me,"

Family Guy

which means they're going to search her anus.

"which means they're going to search her anus."

Family Guy

I did not tell you to approach!

"I did not tell you to approach!"

Family Guy

As bad as those 19 hijackers were,

"As bad as those 19 hijackers were,"

Family Guy

They're all told to wear a pair of their dads' pants.

"They're all told to wear a pair of their dads' pants."

Family Guy

Peter, you promised me you would do the dishes.

"Peter, you promised me you would do the dishes."

Family Guy

So, how are you feeling today?

"So, how are you feeling today?"

Family Guy

Have you tried wearing a lesbian shoe?

"Have you tried wearing a lesbian shoe?"

Family Guy

Hi. Are you the next crazy person?

"Hi. Are you the next crazy person?"

Family Guy

Um, I guess so. I've been pretty depressed since my wife died.

"Um, I guess so. I've been pretty depressed since my wife died."

Family Guy

I'm sorry, I'm tryin' to read the Costco Connection here.

"I'm sorry, I'm tryin' to read the Costco Connection here."

Family Guy

we're gonna talk about you like you're not here.

"we're gonna talk about you like you're not here."

Family Guy

All I do is sit in the bathroom and play on my phone.

"All I do is sit in the bathroom and play on my phone."

Family Guy

That's a perfect example. You put no effort into this marriage.

"That's a perfect example. You put no effort into this marriage."

Family Guy

By the way, your Svengali is out there spraying birds with a hose.

"By the way, your Svengali is out there spraying birds with a hose."

Family Guy

Ooh! "Early." "Doctor." Put those on there, too.

"Ooh! "Early." "Doctor." Put those on there, too."

Family Guy

No, I don't know what that means. Oh, "means."

"No, I don't know what that means. Oh, "means.""

Family Guy

Scott, you're not supposed to make jokes like that!

"Scott, you're not supposed to make jokes like that!"

Family Guy

Shh-shh-shh. Ah, the green shirt went by again!

"Shh-shh-shh. Ah, the green shirt went by again!"

Family Guy

If it goes around 30 times in five minutes, you get to have a Diet Coke!

"If it goes around 30 times in five minutes, you get to have a Diet Coke!"

Family Guy

So since you like golf, I thought we could play a round.

"So since you like golf, I thought we could play a round."

Family Guy

Look, it went further than your ball!

"Look, it went further than your ball!"

Family Guy

if you want to come watch me. Sure!

"if you want to come watch me. Sure!"

Family Guy

Dammit, Cleveland has completely ruined my life.

"Dammit, Cleveland has completely ruined my life."

Family Guy

I know what you mean, Peter. He said I've gotta be more open and receptive

"I know what you mean, Peter. He said I've gotta be more open and receptive"

Family Guy

He's gonna tell my wife stuff, I'm gonna tell his wife a few things.

"He's gonna tell my wife stuff, I'm gonna tell his wife a few things."

Family Guy

and we found out and he told us not to say anything?

"and we found out and he told us not to say anything?"

Family Guy

And you gotta tell her you were wrong and put things back the way they were.

"And you gotta tell her you were wrong and put things back the way they were."

Family Guy

We now return to Major League Baseball

"We now return to Major League Baseball"

Family Guy

and Donna says she hasn't seen him for two days.

"and Donna says she hasn't seen him for two days."

Family Guy

No, I'm not taking your side, Peter!

"No, I'm not taking your side, Peter!"

Family Guy

if we wait here at the convenience store, he's bound to show up.

"if we wait here at the convenience store, he's bound to show up."

Family Guy

See? This is pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I guess.

"See? This is pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I guess."

Family Guy

I-I thought we were gonna meet at the Tumi store

"I-I thought we were gonna meet at the Tumi store"

Family Guy

Some Grey security tubs have gone missing.

"Some Grey security tubs have gone missing."

Family Guy

I'm going to need your small, ridiculous tie.

"I'm going to need your small, ridiculous tie."

Family Guy

I have a duty to this country.

"I have a duty to this country."

Family Guy

Meg?

"Meg?"

Family Guy

I'll miss the way you reminded people about their belts.

"I'll miss the way you reminded people about their belts."

Family Guy

Guys, I think we need to embrace the possibility that Cleveland never existed.

"Guys, I think we need to embrace the possibility that Cleveland never existed."

Family Guy

So what? Egg salad don't go bad.

"So what? Egg salad don't go bad."

Family Guy

Yeah, it is, isn't it?

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

Family Guy

And I'm sorry I caused such problems in your marriage.

"And I'm sorry I caused such problems in your marriage."

Family Guy

After the dog? After the dog.

"After the dog? After the dog."

Family Guy

in what my daughter did this week.

"in what my daughter did this week."

Family Guy

But I-I feel like you're drawing this out, so

"But I-I feel like you're drawing this out, so"

Family Guy

But I love you, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

"But I love you, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say."

Family Guy

I joined the TSA... End of the show!

"I joined the TSA... End of the show!"

Family Guy

* But where are those good old-fashioned values *

"* But where are those good old-fashioned values *"

Family Guy

but thinks the portions are too small?

"but thinks the portions are too small?"

Family Guy

Well, good news, fatass, 'cause now there's the Outback Steakhouse Extreme!

"Well, good news, fatass, 'cause now there's the Outback Steakhouse Extreme!"

Family Guy

You know what else we got?

"You know what else we got?"

Family Guy

Outback Steakhouse Extreme!

"Outback Steakhouse Extreme!"

Family Guy

Punish! Your! Toilet!

"Punish! Your! Toilet!"

Family Guy

Aw, man, I bet that's where Crocodile Dundee eats every night.

"Aw, man, I bet that's where Crocodile Dundee eats every night."

Family Guy

Everything in Australia is so fancy.

"Everything in Australia is so fancy."

Family Guy

Yeah, Australia's a beautiful place.

"Yeah, Australia's a beautiful place."

Family Guy

The greatest ocean of all time.

"The greatest ocean of all time."

Family Guy

What are you talking about? You can't weigh the ocean.

"What are you talking about? You can't weigh the ocean."

Family Guy

You're an idiot! I'm an idiot?

"You're an idiot! I'm an idiot?"

Family Guy

All anybody remembers about your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!

"All anybody remembers about your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!"

Family Guy

But sometimes two rights can make a wrong.

"But sometimes two rights can make a wrong."

Family Guy

I just... I just like the Pacific Ocean!

"I just... I just like the Pacific Ocean!"

Family Guy

It's a good ocean. And so is the Atlantic.

"It's a good ocean. And so is the Atlantic."

Family Guy

Isn't this a beautiful planet you two friends live on?

"Isn't this a beautiful planet you two friends live on?"

Family Guy

I guess Cleveland's right. I'm sorry I got so hotheaded.

"I guess Cleveland's right. I'm sorry I got so hotheaded."

Family Guy

I'm sorry, too. Here, let me turn your foot back around.

"I'm sorry, too. Here, let me turn your foot back around."

Family Guy

It kind of got twisted up in our scuffle there.

"It kind of got twisted up in our scuffle there."

Family Guy

Wow, Cleveland.

"Wow, Cleveland."

Family Guy

You calmed them down just by talking with your mouth and your pretty lips.

"You calmed them down just by talking with your mouth and your pretty lips."

Family Guy

Oh, it's nothin'. Just a little something I learned volunteering

"Oh, it's nothin'. Just a little something I learned volunteering"

Family Guy

as a youth counselor down at my church.

"as a youth counselor down at my church."

Family Guy

Like what? Well, there's the "stop escalatin'" one.

"Like what? Well, there's the "stop escalatin'" one."

Family Guy

That's amazing. Hey, you're way too good to be doing that for free.

"That's amazing. Hey, you're way too good to be doing that for free."

Family Guy

Maybe you should open up an office. You know, finally start chipping away

"Maybe you should open up an office. You know, finally start chipping away"

Family Guy

at some of that horrendous debt you've got.

"at some of that horrendous debt you've got."

Family Guy

And if I charge my first patient $117,000, I'm right back in it.

"And if I charge my first patient $117,000, I'm right back in it."

Family Guy

Hey, no problem, buddy. I'm pretty perceptive.

"Hey, no problem, buddy. I'm pretty perceptive."

Family Guy

in the Wrangler Jeans commercials beat their wives.

"in the Wrangler Jeans commercials beat their wives."

Family Guy

All of 'em.

"All of 'em."

Family Guy

Go around the block again, she's still out front.

"Go around the block again, she's still out front."

Family Guy

Eh, you're right. Rip it off quick, like a Band-Aid.

"Eh, you're right. Rip it off quick, like a Band-Aid."

Family Guy

Hey, what's going on here?

"Hey, what's going on here?"

Family Guy

I could try to get you a job at the airport.

"I could try to get you a job at the airport."

Family Guy

Really? Wow, that'd be great! Thanks, Mr. Quagmire.

"Really? Wow, that'd be great! Thanks, Mr. Quagmire."

Family Guy

And thanks for taking the time.

"And thanks for taking the time."

Family Guy

Most people aren't usually that nice to me.

"Most people aren't usually that nice to me."

Family Guy

Ugh, gross.

"Ugh, gross."

Family Guy

You are doing deliberately odd things

"You are doing deliberately odd things"

Family Guy

to mask dark, maybe even criminal, activities.

"to mask dark, maybe even criminal, activities."

Family Guy

I think you're a dangerous sociopath.

"I think you're a dangerous sociopath."

Family Guy

Cleveland, let me tell you something.

"Cleveland, let me tell you something."

Family Guy

Well, time to put on my spaghetti hat!

"Well, time to put on my spaghetti hat!"

Family Guy

I just never feel happy. I strive for these things, and I get them,

"I just never feel happy. I strive for these things, and I get them,"

Family Guy

Like you don't feel like you're worth it?

"Like you don't feel like you're worth it?"

Family Guy

No, that's not it.

"No, that's not it."

Family Guy

Hmm.

"Hmm."

Family Guy

Maybe... That doesn't feel quite right, either.

"Maybe... That doesn't feel quite right, either."

Family Guy

Hmm.

"Hmm."

Family Guy

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God!"

Family Guy

Why did you do that?

"Why did you do that?"

Family Guy

You see, the whole thing we're going for here at the TSA is a sort of bored fascism.

"You see, the whole thing we're going for here at the TSA is a sort of bored fascism."

Family Guy

Great job! The worst thing a passenger can do

"Great job! The worst thing a passenger can do"

Family Guy

is approach your podium before you tell them to.

"is approach your podium before you tell them to."

Family Guy

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