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Clips from Scrubs - My Waste of Time (S07E07)

"to the new Brain Trust Clubhouse."
Scrubs
"Or, as I like to call it, the Brainhouse."
Scrubs
"Lf, by a motion, you mean a literal motion,"
Scrubs
"Withdrawn."
Scrubs
"Gentlemen, the first order of business is this:"
Scrubs
"Can we just take this office?"
Scrubs
"Ted, we live in a country called America."
Scrubs
"And in America, every man is free to do as he or she wishes"
Scrubs
"and to claim anything he or she wishes with a simple act of planting a flag."
Scrubs
"the dead possum across the street and Doug's sandwich."
Scrubs
"So I forgot to do laundry this morning, but I stood up to Carla anyway."
Scrubs
"Not for long. I'm getting an implant."
Scrubs
"but you have been turning left more often than usual."
Scrubs
"I never stopped noticing."
Scrubs
"Anyway, Carla wants me to get it so now I have to pick out a prosthetic."
Scrubs
"Hello, and welcome to Ball-Mart."
Scrubs
"Turk, look at all the different styles."
Scrubs
"This one has a thermostat and doubles as a hand-warmer."
Scrubs
"If we don't warm up soon, we're all gonna die."
Scrubs
"All right, now nobody makes eye contact."
Scrubs
"Careful, y'all, that bad boy runs hot."
Scrubs
"You're telling me."
Scrubs
"It was all right."
Scrubs
"Hey."
Scrubs
"I gotta stop with the long fantasies. They're never worth it."
Scrubs
"All right, kid, I expect updates on my daughter every 15 minutes,"
Scrubs
"or what, Perry?"
Scrubs
"I love that you're the boss now."
Scrubs
"Honest to God, it almost makes you seem attractive."
Scrubs
"What do you want, Ted?"
Scrubs
"I think you'll find me more than qualified."
Scrubs
"Congrats. Take a look at that for me and grab me a cup of coffee."
Scrubs
"No sweat."
Scrubs
"I just had it."
Scrubs
"- Dr Cox... - Chief Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"Hey, your initials are C.D.C. That was my nickname in my sorority."
Scrubs
"Of course."
Scrubs
"Anyway, you know that Plomox lawsuit?"
Scrubs
"who might be entitled to some of that settlement money."
Scrubs
"So I was just wondering if you could have someone cover my patients"
Scrubs
"- Yeah. Thanks. - Cool."
Scrubs
"I just want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with your daughter."
Scrubs
"I've tried for seven years. It can't be done."
Scrubs
"and us finally finding a nanny who's not a thief."
Scrubs
"I still don't think we needed to fire Mrs Norton"
Scrubs
"I wrote my name on it, okay?"
Scrubs
"No! It's... No, wait! I wrote my..."
Scrubs
"My point is, for the first time since you were pregnant,"
Scrubs
"I'm bringing a cup of coffee to Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"Come on, you got a fresh start here."
Scrubs
"Hi, Dr Kelso. Theodore Buckland, licensed attorney."
Scrubs
"Ted, before you get started, and trust me, I hate asking this,"
Scrubs
"would you mind doing me one tiny little non-work-related favour?"
Scrubs
"No problem, man."
Scrubs
"I hit the neighbour's cat last night."
Scrubs
"My point is you could be a whole new Ted."
Scrubs
"Now, come on. Turn around. Chest out, stand tall. Chin up."
Scrubs
"Blink your eyes real fast."
Scrubs
"- Dr Cox. - Chief Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"Chief Dr Cox, I'm a lawyer. I shouldn't have to get you coffee."
Scrubs
"I can't even pretend to care."
Scrubs
"Fine, no more getting me coffee."
Scrubs
"We're just gonna wait? I wish Turk was here."
Scrubs
"I wonder what he's doing right now."
Scrubs
"I just want to make sure everything's normal."
Scrubs
"Why do you wish Turk was here?"
Scrubs
"I can goof around, J.D. I can goof around hard."
Scrubs
"- Really? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"Then follow me."
Scrubs
"And now we wait."
Scrubs
"One cheeseburger and fries, please!"
Scrubs
"I want to make you pregnant."
Scrubs
"For the first time, I'm looking down at your bald head"
Scrubs
"so I'd like to introduce our new mascot, Barry Morris' brain."
Scrubs
"I dub that gross. Second?"
Scrubs
"Okay, noted in the minutes as "gross.""
Scrubs
"I had an idea for tonight. Why don't we play cards?"
Scrubs
"It's Tuesday, Ted."
Scrubs
"On Tuesdays, you guys clean the hospital, remember?"
Scrubs
"I am not being ridiculous."
Scrubs
"and if something happened..."
Scrubs
"Are you sure?"
Scrubs
"He's like Tina Turner after she left lke."
Scrubs
"Stronger, more confident"
Scrubs
"Okay?"
Scrubs
"Are you Dr Reid? I'm Adam Candy."
Scrubs
"I never treated you."
Scrubs
"Oh, great, I called the wrong one."
Scrubs
"then why did you agree to meet me here?"
Scrubs
"Wait. This looks promising."
Scrubs
"The truth is we bring most of our trouble on ourselves."
Scrubs
"... or pulling a prank that causes an irate customer"
Scrubs
"through a window and drive off with him."
Scrubs
"Stop! What are you doing? Let go!"
Scrubs
"- That's new. - Stop him!"
Scrubs
"can have huge ramifications."
Scrubs
"You want another minute to think about it?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, okay."
Scrubs
"before they got to the freeway."
Scrubs
"Okay, he doesn't know you caused this, so stay calm."
Scrubs
"Any more information I should know?"
Scrubs
"We're doctors. We like to give out health tips."
Scrubs
"You should also stay hydrated."
Scrubs
"J.D., we have to take responsibility, okay?"
Scrubs
"You gonna cuff us?"
Scrubs
"For a paper sign? No."
Scrubs
"She probably does. You know she got caught on TV in a crack den?"
Scrubs
"Well, I'm sure he probably knows. It's on the docket."
Scrubs
"Okay, there's one thing we have to remember,"
Scrubs
"and that's that I decide what's best for the Brain Trust."
Scrubs
"I thought this was a democracy."
Scrubs
"Oh, then it's just miscommunication."
Scrubs
"during the revolution of '02 when I overthrew Kyle"
Scrubs
"You can't. Brain Trust is a registered trademark. I own that name."
Scrubs
"And Chanel."
Scrubs
"Well, maybe I'll just call it the Brain Bunch."
Scrubs
"I'm staying. Brain Trust!"
Scrubs
"- Brain Trust! - Brain Bunch!"
Scrubs
"and the postpartum stuff put a strain on our relationship,"
Scrubs
"and we finally got our life back"
Scrubs
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