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Clips from 30 Rock - Idiots Are People Two! (S06E06)

"Do you think the people of Raleigh, North Carolina"
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"turned Clay Aiken gay?"
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"Why not? The Bronx turned me dyslexic."
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"Look, you're a public figure, and believe it or not,"
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"You need to apologize."
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"I already called Glad, Liz Lemon."
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"Thank you for calling Glad,"
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"stronger trash bags with less plastic."
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"Sorry about what I said."
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"- Well, okeydokey."
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"That's the wrong "glad," Tracy."
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"for just being myself."
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"Remember when I offended stubborn people?"
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"That took forever to sort out."
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"writing an apology for you."
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"That's terrific, thank you."
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"Lemon."
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"Actually, I want to talk to you about something else."
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"Because of my unfortunate situation with Avery,"
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"I'm alone."
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"And I know, of course, that you're not seeing anyone,"
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"therefore I've decided that you and I"
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"No, thank you, please."
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"Aha! The only reason you would reject that offer"
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"is if you had a secret boyfriend."
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"Right, that's the only reason."
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"with your mouth on a man."
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"Why would you keep this from me"
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"after all of our time together?"
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"This is hurtful, Elizabeth."
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"I don't want to tell you."
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"Why? Is it a stupid name,"
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"His name is "Chris,""
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"and I'm sorry, but for my own reasons..."
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"And "Chris" is spelled?"
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"No "h" and two "s"s."
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"That! Right there, that's why I didn't want to tell you,"
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"because I knew you wouldn't approve of him."
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"Why? What does he do for a living?"
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"Criss is trying to..."
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"You can stop right there."
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"He's an entrepreneur. He's currently meeting with"
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"investors in the hopes of starting an"
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"organic gourmet hot dog truck."
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"Lemon, I have said "good God" to you before,"
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"but I don't think I've ever meant it until now."
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"- Don't worry about it. - How bad can it be?"
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"It's not a walk-up, is it?"
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"because Criss is different."
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"How is he different?"
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"Well, that's just a stupid question."
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"I mean, I'm more relaxed around him."
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"My jaw stopped popping. Listen."
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"And for once I'm not overthinking everything,"
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"which is why I don't want you in my head."
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"Ah, but I'm already in your head, Lemon."
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"The fact that you felt you had to keep "Chris,""
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"and I'm saying his name with an "h" and only one "s","
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"the fact that you kept him from me simply proves"
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"that it doesn't matter whether I meet him or not."
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"You already know what I would say,"
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"and you know I'm right."
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"I'm ignoring you. You're not here."
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"- I love you. - Oh, I love you too."
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"So I might as well meet him and get it over with."
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"After all, we're both Princeton men."
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"Princeton? No, Criss went to... no!"
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"You can't keep me out."
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"Oh, Ms. Maroney. I'm afraid I have bad news."
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"But who could have been slowly poisoning her?"
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"because I'm just hearing about it."
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"about replacing the light bulbs in your room,"
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"until Mr. Jordan issues an apology for his remarks."
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"He also said that he thinks, quote,"
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"a voyager on a vast ocean of pleasure."
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"- This is unacceptable, Kenneth."
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"Do you understand how important"
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"proper lighting is to an actress?"
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"Especially now that I'm officially a "B-list" celebrity,"
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"thanks to America's kids got singing."
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"Oh, congratulations, Ms. Maroney."
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"I just found out this morning,"
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"Teri Polo and Ving Rhames called me at home."
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"So what if a tour came by and some Fanny pack fatty"
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"took a picture of me in my poorly-lit dressing room?"
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"And then they put the picture on the Internet?"
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"That can't happen."
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"Kenneth, do this for me,"
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"someone I hope you consider a friend,"
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"and who in return thinks of you"
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"Aw, you think of me?"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"You think we need a key?"
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"I guess someone's never been locked in a dog crate"
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"A statement from TGS head writer Elizabeth Lemon, adding..."
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"In other news, after lots of high financial..."
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"And now, I am headed home for a "nooner,""
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"Liz Lemon, did you just call me an idiot on this TV?"
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"Yeah, but..."
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"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"
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"It means you're someone who should know better,"
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"but you constantly do stupid things."
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"How dare you! I am nonplussed, and that is the correct usage."
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"You have offended and humiliated me."
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"Well, maybe now you know how gay people felt"
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"when you suggested that they sit around all day"
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"and look at their own junk."
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"Wait. Why don't they do that?"
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"Insulted, marginalized, and outraged."
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"Which is why I'm going to do exactly what they did"
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"and organize a protest of this network."
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"A protest? By whom?"
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"By idiots!"
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"All right, I'm out."
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"I've been dealing with Tracy all morning,"
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"and clearly this is only going to get worse."
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"Time to go into Hornberger crisis mode."
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"Is that when you cry on the floor in your office?"
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"Nope, I do that when I see myself"
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"in the mirror on my birthday."
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