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Clips from Family Guy - Ready, Willing and Disabled (S03E03)

""It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
""Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"I wanna play baseball!"
Family Guy
"who helped organise this charity event. You're a very thoughtful young man, Chris."
Family Guy
"What the deuce?"
Family Guy
"It looks like somebody's gonna live to see puberty."
Family Guy
"That sounds good."
Family Guy
"- Buddy... - Move!"
Family Guy
"bike-ri... jump ro... go lay on the grass?"
Family Guy
"Gosh, I don't know, Peter. You really think I can?"
Family Guy
"All right. Let's do it!"
Family Guy
"- But first, Peter, look out for that skateboard. - Agh!"
Family Guy
"- Had a row with a fellow in the steam room. - You don't say!"
Family Guy
"- Gave him a cauliflower ear. - Bully!"
Family Guy
"How does he check out, Doc? Is my boy ready to compete?"
Family Guy
"- I was thinkin' more like a protein shake. - Oh, God, I'm sorry."
Family Guy
"We now return to "Touched by an Angel"."
Family Guy
"Sh, sh!"
Family Guy
"- Knuckles, get the handbag. - Right, boss."
Family Guy
"Give me my purse, you psycho!"
Family Guy
"Hello and welcome to the Quahog Special People's Games. I'm Tom Tucker."
Family Guy
"I'll see you there, Diane."
Family Guy
"Still no sign of the deaf team."
Family Guy
"And these games are under way."
Family Guy
"- He may be right, Peter. - Joe, he's an android."
Family Guy
"Oh, crap."
Family Guy
"Now the first decathlon event, the pole vault,"
Family Guy
"- How do you like that, buddy? - A stinker says "what"."
Family Guy
"Ah! Dostoevsky, the mad Russian."
Family Guy
"Good stuff. Good stuff."
Family Guy
"What? Oh, you thought..."
Family Guy
"but first, decathlon frontrunner Joe Swanson will attempt the long jump."
Family Guy
"- Tough break, Tom. - Good contribution, Diane."
Family Guy
"Tell your wife to come over to my place if she wants a little boom-lacka-lacka-lacka-lacka."
Family Guy
"Did he quit after losing millions of his father's friends' money in failed oil companies? No."
Family Guy
"Did he quit after he got that DUl? No."
Family Guy
"Mommy, look at the ladyb... Agh!"
Family Guy
"- It's yours. Like my pants? - Sure."
Family Guy
"Sign here."
Family Guy
"What is this?!"
Family Guy
"brought down by a cruel twist of fate."
Family Guy
"Handicapped... Hm..."
Family Guy
"Agh! How did these get up here?"
Family Guy
"I'm handicapped now. Agh!"
Family Guy
"Mr Griffin, you can't expect me to believe this. That was clearly a scarecrow in your clothes."
Family Guy
"Don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal."
Family Guy
"Thank you, thank you."
Family Guy
"Your acerbic anti-white humour was a constant inspiration. Thank you, sir."
Family Guy
"Chef Paul Prudhomme, you get your Cajun ass up here!"
Family Guy
"I didn't even do anything."
Family Guy
"- Mr Steroid. That's how he won. - That's not true."
Family Guy
"Who da man? Who da man? Who da man?"
Family Guy
"Hey, kids."
Family Guy
"Wake up! This is Mr Taylor. He's here to claim the money clip."
Family Guy
"- Oh! - Oh!"
Family Guy
"I think those days are over now, Peter."
Family Guy
"- Hey there. - Hi, Peter."
Family Guy
"I forgot it was really you who got me to believe in myself again."
Family Guy
"Looks like you got more competition at next year's games."
Family Guy
"- I've never seen so much money at one time. - What should we do with it?"
Family Guy
"We can dish, talk about who's getting fat. We'll be great big bitches."
Family Guy
"- Oh, my God! That man took our money! - What man?"
Family Guy
"Well, the money's the important thing. Now Paul can get his..."
Family Guy
"Peter, Bonnie says Joe's really depressed about that robbery."
Family Guy
"- Hey, buddy. - Close the door. I don't wanna see the light."
Family Guy
"Mort, Joe's gonna compete in the Special People's Games."
Family Guy
"Aisle three next to the creams. Oh, I don't like saying that word."
Family Guy
"Who are ya gonna believe? I got a freakin' halo!"
Family Guy
"Let's see. Make-up, chewing gum, a picture of Meg in a two-piece swimsuit."
Family Guy
"We begin with the 100-metre dash for people afraid of yellow tape."
Family Guy
"- Do I have food in my teeth? - No."
Family Guy
"For Swanson to take the gold, he'll have to win the final event, the 100-metre dash."
Family Guy
"Did he quit after knockin' that girl up? No."
Family Guy
"Uh... You mean ha-ha Jerry Seinfeld funny, or Elayne Boosler bless-her-she's-trying funny?"
Family Guy
"- Yeah! - Joe Swanson wins the gold medal."
Family Guy
"I don't understand why he did that without me. We were gonna do everything together."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I guess."
Family Guy
"Once a man at his physical peak,"
Family Guy
"He's handicapped. That makes his story inspirational."
Family Guy
"Fess up or I'll do to you what I did to John Lennon."
Family Guy
"Damn!"
Family Guy
"He challenged me to go that extra mile. And that man is Mr Griffin."
Family Guy
"- Ha, ha! Tough luck, wheelie! - Yeah. For you."
Family Guy
"God, I was standing out there for like 10 minutes!"
Family Guy
"Peter, I really appreciate what you did for me."
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
"If you want to go with a scent, I've got PB and J, Sugar Cereal, and New Toy."
Family Guy
"Everyone, we've reached our goal."
Family Guy
"Stop! Police!"
Family Guy
""On which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us"
Family Guy
""Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
""Alan Adler, David Preslack, Julie Axlerod, Shep Sutton, Scott McCormack. ""
Family Guy
"Those were the people who were mean to me in junior high. Tomorrow, high school."
Family Guy
"Finally we go to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa for 60 seconds of filler."
Family Guy
"I'm here on Spooner Street where several Quahog families are holding a car wash"
Family Guy
"to raise money for an organ transplant for young Paul Lewis."
Family Guy
"- What do you call this device, Paul? - An iron lung. It keeps me from dying."
Family Guy
"With me is one of Paul's classmates, Chris Griffin,"
Family Guy
"- Can I say hello to my mom? - Sure."
Family Guy
"- Hi, Mom! - Hi, sweetheart."
Family Guy
"So you want the full wash... Oh, you've got a nick there. I can probably get that out for you."
Family Guy
"- Hey! Somebody dropped a money clip. - Wow! $26."
Family Guy
"I say we buy 26 dollars' worth of ice cream and just pig out."
Family Guy
"Hold on, kids. That's not your money yet."
Family Guy
"You gotta put up signs and wait two weeks for someone to claim it."
Family Guy
"If no one does, it's yours."
Family Guy
"Ah, lunch is here!"
Family Guy
"He wore a Jimmy Carter mask, like the robber in that Keanu Reeves movie."
Family Guy
"- The Matrix? - No. They were jumping out of a plane."
Family Guy
"- Executive Decision. - That was Kurt Russell."
Family Guy
"The other guy in this movie looks like Kurt Russell."
Family Guy
"- He's getting away! - Don't worry. He won't get far."
Family Guy
"- Joe, what happened? - I got the money."
Family Guy
"- All right, Joe! - But I lost the perp."
Family Guy
"Point Break! That was the movie."
Family Guy
"Here's to Joe, who helped little Paul get a new liver"
Family Guy
"and, barring a massive infection, a new lease on life."
Family Guy
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