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Clips from The Good Place - The Burrito (S02E02)

"is that giant stack of "New Yorker" magazines."
The Good Place
"Oh, come on."
The Good Place
"You and I both know I'll never read those."
The Good Place
"Of course you won't."
The Good Place
"But they'll just keep coming."
The Good Place
"The smell will linger for 10 million years."
The Good Place
"Oh wait, actually,"
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"before I absolutely let it rip,"
The Good Place
"I just have one more thing I have to do."
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"It's me, Good Janet."
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"Janet."
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"I realized if we wanted our friends"
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"I had to learn how to do a lot of bad things really quickly."
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"It helps me think."
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"what would Superman do,"
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"are we missing anything?"
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"Hit me right now with your most obscure, boring-est,"
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"old white dude with a long wizard beard mumbo-jumbo."
The Good Place
"Okay, our friends are going to the Bad Place,"
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"So, morally,"
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"we're allowed to go."
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"But let's forget about the ethics for a second."
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"After everything that's happened,"
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"don't we deserve to be together"
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"We're not going to the Good Place."
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"I mean, that was never actually an option,"
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"Well, I was 99% sure that going was the wrong move,"
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"I owed it to him to quadruple check."
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"The capper came when I realized..."
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"while his friends got punished, and he would never"
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"I don't know who this joker is,"
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"but it's not Chidi Anagonye."
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"Wait, but what about the..."
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"Well done, Eleanor."
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"You can take a seat and wait for the others."
The Good Place
"'cause it's actually a coaster for my sodas?"
The Good Place
"Mm-hmm."
The Good Place
"Where is the real Chidi, though? Is he okay?"
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"He's still taking his test."
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"Okay, this is ridiculous."
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"I'm just gonna choose..."
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"Gray's the obvious choice,"
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"which is probably why I shouldn't choose it."
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"Brown. Nope."
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"Gray."
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"Nope. Brown."
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"All right, fun stuff."
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"- Very. - I think so, yes."
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"Okay, um,"
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"But did I at least choose the right one?"
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"Come on, man. Ugh."
The Good Place
"and you couldn't resist confronting your parents."
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"Sorry, everyone."
The Good Place
"and talk to Winston Churchill and Freddie Mercury?"
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"No."
The Good Place
"and you showed great improvements,"
The Good Place
"but you never asked if you could opt not to play."
The Good Place
"I mean, you basically told me,"
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"an all-knowing judge, to just shut up and go away."
The Good Place
"Do you realize how insane that is?"
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"Not as insane as picking off"
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"the greatest quarterback of all time, Black Bortles,"
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"to set up a last second game-winning field goal."
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"Now, Eleanor's test was about her selfishness,"
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"- and she actually... - I failed."
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"'cause I'm a shrimp fiend."
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"So, we all failed, let's not dwell on it."
The Good Place
"All right, shall we?"
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"but weirdly..."
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"♪ And everything I would... ♪"
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"I'm gonna miss you, bud."
The Good Place
"I'm gonna frame that one."
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"We gave it our best shot, guys."
The Good Place
"I say we go through the portal, get a good night's sleep,"
The Good Place
"come back fresh in the morning."
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"about 20% of what's happening."
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"All right, off to eternal damnation."
The Good Place
"Do you hear something?"
The Good Place
"Hey, guys."
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"How you been?"
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"Awesome!"
The Good Place
"Ugh, stop saying barf."
The Good Place
"Was it a nice grab or a bad grab?"
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"maybe it's a test to see how long"
The Good Place
"My name is Eleanor Shellstrop."
The Good Place
"I'm the Judge. That's a burrito."
The Good Place
"there might be some demons following us."
The Good Place
"I've been binging Ken Burns's "Vietnam" recently."
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"and the rules say I gotta..."
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"Let's do it."
The Good Place
"torture four bad people forever."
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"Who taught you how to turn a human inside out"
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"You did."
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"if we're not together."
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"Oh. I'm gonna win."
The Good Place
"Tell my friends their souls are in good hands."
The Good Place
"It's just short for hydrogen,"
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"It's a test of my ability to"
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"not care what people think of me."
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"you actually rebooted them over 800 times,"
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"and all of these reports of their torture"
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"Yes, but frankly, this is on you."
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"I doubt she even hears their case."
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"Yep."
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"Here's the thing, though. It's just the two of you."
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"I bet the Judge gave Jason and Tahani"
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"Or, the concept of envy."
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"then it's something way worse."
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"Yeah, you know, why can't one part"
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"compared to her sister."
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"Hello, Mother."
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"How's it going in here?"
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"instead of playing against the Jags."
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"Yeah, that's not a revelation or something."
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"I explained that very clearly."
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"it's been a while since we've seen you."
The Good Place
"I shagged a Floridian,"
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"That's right."
The Good Place
"and I'm afraid you're going to"
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"hulk out, as it were."
The Good Place
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