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Clips from The Good Place - The Burrito (S02E02)

"loaded with Madden football."
The Good Place
"Are you kidding me? I'm the best at Madden."
The Good Place
"I call Jaguars."
The Good Place
"As I was about to tell you,"
The Good Place
"you can only play against the Jaguars."
The Good Place
"- No. - Using their archrivals,"
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"- the Tennessee Titans. - No!"
The Good Place
"No, I fumbled the kickoff!"
The Good Place
"Titans suck."
The Good Place
"which was the only thing that was in existence"
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"at the time that I was born."
The Good Place
"That's it? That's my test?"
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"Yep."
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"is going to be discussing what they truly think about you."
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"Okay, have fun."
The Good Place
"_"
The Good Place
"Oh, no."
The Good Place
"So, just to be clear,"
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"are completely fake?"
The Good Place
"A lot of those details I just took directly from"
The Good Place
"Stephen King novels"
The Good Place
"and episodes of "Pretty Little Liars.""
The Good Place
"Just tell me why, why would you do this?"
The Good Place
"It's not like I planned it."
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"could be made to torture each other."
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"They were bad people."
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"This is not supposed to be possible,"
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"so the only explanation is that somehow,"
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"belong in the Good Place."
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"Pft, fair is the stupidest word"
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"Staycation, ew."
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"and they deserve a staycation in the Good Place,"
The Good Place
"and I bet the Judge will feel the same way."
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"But if she does, one of them will screw it up."
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"Can we get rid of him already?"
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"Yep. It's time."
The Good Place
"Okay."
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"Eleanor and Chidi."
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"At the same time?"
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"Trippy, right?"
The Good Place
"You guys are in!"
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"You guys have made great strides"
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"Congrats."
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"and you're there in a jiff."
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"- We made it. - We made it."
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"All those ethics lessons paid off."
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"Whoever said philosophy was stupid?"
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"- As recently as this morning. - Whoo!"
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"and you deserve this."
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"You really do."
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"Tahani and Jason didn't make it."
The Good Place
"I'm giving them tests right now to determine"
The Good Place
"so you might wanna reconsider that judges-together thing"
The Good Place
"I am so hungry."
The Good Place
"Oh, my..."
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"I'm such an idiot."
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"I forgot to eat my burrito."
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"Okay, obviously,"
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"the same offer, and whichever couple takes it,"
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"Oh!"
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"Diabolical."
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"- We figured out what you're really... - Nope."
The Good Place
"Tahani and Jason have not been given the same offer."
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"Here, take a look."
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"Tahani's test is to walk down the hallway"
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"and not get tempted by her gossiping friends."
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"Jason is playing video games."
The Good Place
"Oh."
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"Sorry, I feel weird saying this to an almighty judge,"
The Good Place
"but you have hot sauce on your chin."
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"Thank you."
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"It's actually not hot sauce."
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"it gives it a little kick."
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"Okay, so what do we do?"
The Good Place
"Oh no, that was your moral quandary grimace,"
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"which is different from your gas pain grimace."
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""from whence it came" instead of "whence it came" grimace."
The Good Place
"So, spit it out, man."
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"Well, if this isn't a test,"
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"- What? - A choice that we have to make."
The Good Place
"Quvenzhané Wallis and Stephen Hawking"
The Good Place
"Guess they must've made up."
The Good Place
"Focus."
The Good Place
"There'll be Fergies a-plenty in the Good Place."
The Good Place
"I know, she is such a disappointment"
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"Hello, Father."
The Good Place
"We were just talking about"
The Good Place
"how you're a huge disappointment"
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"compared to your sister."
The Good Place
"Have a seat, we'd love to get your take."
The Good Place
"if I could play as the Jags"
The Good Place
"I hate scoring against my own favorite team."
The Good Place
"It's nice to see you, Tahani."
The Good Place
"they've been keeping you well-fed."
The Good Place
"You know, I've actually risked"
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"quite a lot to be in this room right now,"
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"that would be lovely."
The Good Place
"Kamilah dedicated her last album to you."
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"Really?"
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"Well, she dedicated it to her fans"
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"The whole point of this afterlife test"
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"is that everyone in these rooms"
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"is supposed to be talking about me."
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"And yet, even in this scenario,"
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"you are still talking about Kamilah."
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"Which is exactly the point."
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"I was never going to be enough for you."
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"Never going to earn your respect."
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"You know, I've done things"
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"that you would never have approved of."
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"I died,"
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"dressed as someone in the service industry,"
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"And it's the happiest I have ever been."
The Good Place
"Don't get upset, dear."
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"You barely fit in that dress,"
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"Okay."
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"Go ahead and retire me already."
The Good Place
"I don't need that kind of scrutiny right now."
The Good Place
"And since it seems you love humans so much,"
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"All you'll have for entertainment"
The Good Place
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