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Clips from Friends - The One Where Rachel Has a Baby: Part 1 (S08E08)

"She got a new haircut. You'll hate it."
Friends
"Give me."
Friends
"You wanna see something funny?"
Friends
"Monica."
Friends
"Do it again. Do it again."
Friends
"-What? -Really?"
Friends
"You said hi to Mom before she left, right?"
Friends
"I thought that was her."
Friends
"Yeah, I called her name, and she ducked into a stairwell."
Friends
"She pulled me out of the labor room to ask me why I'm not with Rachel."
Friends
"-Oh, my God. -How annoying."
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Look, we're not gonna be together just because we're having this baby."
Friends
"But it just seems that you two belong together."
Friends
"Okay, stop it. I can't deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby."
Friends
"Right. And with who again?"
Friends
"He's crazy. Why doesn't he wanna be with Rachel?"
Friends
"Seriously, she's like the perfect woman. I mean, I know she turned me down.."
Friends
"but if she hadn't and she wanted to be with me.."
Friends
"I would take her in my arms and.."
Friends
"I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while, have I?"
Friends
"-Who's that? -New people."
Friends
"What happened to the Disgustingtons?"
Friends
"They're having their baby. It's not fair, Ross. I got here first!"
Friends
"Oh, but not before she gave me a nice, juicy shot of little Jamie crowning away."
Friends
"Wow. Sorry."
Friends
"So how are the new people?"
Friends
"Well, they have some unusual pet names for each other."
Friends
"-Oh, gosh, a contraction. -Yeah? Okay, okay. Just breathe."
Friends
"-Are you looking at her? -No!"
Friends
"-Don't you look at her, you sick bastard! -Honey, I swear I wasn't looking at her!"
Friends
"She's in labor. You like that, you sick son of a bitch?"
Friends
"No, no. I'm sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy."
Friends
"You miss your girlfriend?"
Friends
"Just ignore them."
Friends
"-You okay? -Yeah."
Friends
"-Ross. -What?"
Friends
"-He's looking at me. -Hey!"
Friends
"Oh, good God! If you want a baby so bad, just go steal it!"
Friends
"Oh, don't worry. These babies are far too ugly for us."
Friends
"What is going on with you. Since when are you so crazy about babies?"
Friends
"I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us."
Friends
"We've always talked about having babies someday, not now.."
Friends
"We're really good."
Friends
"But nothing has to happen until you're ready."
Friends
"Well, maybe I'm ready now."
Friends
"I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right."
Friends
"So we're gonna try? I mean, we're trying?"
Friends
"I'm not comfortable doing this in front of the babies."
Friends
"-So when do you want to start trying? -All right, hold on a sec."
Friends
"-Right here? -No, not here."
Friends
"-It ate your money? -No."
Friends
"-I'll see you downstairs then. -All right."
Friends
"-Oh, up or down? -Oh. Down, please."
Friends
"I hate to be a ball-buster, but can I just do it?"
Friends
"-I feel bad. I broke my leg once too. -Yeah? How'd yours happen?"
Friends
"Well, it's a long story, it's kind of embarrassing."
Friends
"Let's just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual."
Friends
"-Sorry. -Oh, no. No, don't be."
Friends
"Well, I, for one, am glad you made it."
Friends
"Are you sure? I mean, you don't know me."
Friends
"I could have been sent from another planet to destroy Earth."
Friends
"Couldn't press the "down" button. I think Earth's okay."
Friends
"Hey, I take it you're just visiting someone."
Friends
"Well, if you have some time and you wanna visit someone else.."
Friends
"Yeah, I would like that."
Friends
"-Great. I'm in room.. -Wait! What? No! Elevator! No!"
Friends
"You gotta press the button."
Friends
"Oh. Is she pregnant yet?"
Friends
"She doesn't need to be. She'll still have the baby before I do."
Friends
"Mine haven't been so bad. Oh, here comes one now."
Friends
"That was, like, the biggest one yet. Are you okay, honey?"
Friends
"And when you get to the end, they get really big.."
Friends
"Well, mine are pretty close together. I think.."
Friends
"-Excuse me. -Yeah, that's quite all right."
Friends
"Oh, by the way, my name's Johanna. What's yours?"
Friends
"Well, who isn't?"
Friends
"Anyway, the patient I'm looking for has a broken leg."
Friends
"He's in a wheelchair. He's early to mid-30s, very attractive."
Friends
"Even you would think so."
Friends
"I'm sorry. Patient information is confidential."
Friends
"Ma'am, I'm sorry. That information is restricted to hospital staff."
Friends
"-She's with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray. -Dr. Drake who?"
Friends
"Ramoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information. I'm a doctor."
Friends
"-Hands. -Hands!"
Friends
"-He's in room 816. -816. Thank you."
Friends
"-And what is his name? -No."
Friends
"-I think we found a place. -Okay."
Friends
"Hello, Monica."
Friends
"-Not like that. -Oh, okay."
Friends
"Or turn them out altogether."
Friends
"Okay, okay. Making me sterile, but okay."
Friends
"Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait. Do we have a condom?"
Friends
"Oh, right!"
Friends
"Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine."
Friends
"Not you. Dr. Ramoray. Ask him questions and see what he's like."
Friends
"-People tell doctors everything. -You said he was this great guy."
Friends
"All the guys I meet seem nice at first, then turn out to be big jerks."
Friends
"Dr. Long, I've been at this for 17 hours."
Friends
"Three women have come and gone with their babies."
Friends
"You gotta give me good news. How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?"
Friends
"I'm dilated three!"
Friends
"We are moving along just slowly. Don't worry, you're doing great."
Friends
"You know what? I'm not waiting. I'm gonna push this baby out."
Friends
"I'm doing it. Three centimeters. That's gotta be like this, right?"
Friends
"We're gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room."
Friends
"Oh, for the love of God!"
Friends
"I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. I have a few routine questions I need to ask you."
Friends
"Really? I've been dealing with Dr. Wells."
Friends
"Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview. So he sent me."
Friends
"Dr. Wells is a woman!"
Friends
"-And are you married? -No."
Friends
"Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would you say you have commitment issues?"
Friends
"I lost my wife five years ago to a mild cardial infarction."
Friends
"Are you experiencing any dizziness?"
Friends
"No."
Friends
"Do you sleep with women and never call them again?"
Friends
"And finally, are you into any weird stuff, you know, sexually?"
Friends
"-No! -Wrong answer."
Friends
"Since I have been waiting, four women.."
Friends
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