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Clips from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Who's the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating? (S02E02)

"I was on the phone, and I left the door open."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"If anything happens to him, I don't know what I'll do."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Will you excuse me for one moment?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(door closes, dogs barking)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"What are we doing?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm over there all by myself comforting the enemy,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"who smells like heaven, by the way. I want to get out of here!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So, listen, it hit me when we hit the cat. (laughs)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"We can't just tell Josh about Anna's drug business."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"He'll never believe us."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I told her that your name is Madge, and my name is Allegra."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Madge?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So you."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Go. Go. Go."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Hey. Hey, honey."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So, the nurse wants you to fill out all this information."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I just figured I'd do it since you're so upset."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Don't think. Just rapid fire"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"answer my questions."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So, um, name, age, height, weight?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Uh, Gravy Miffy Muffins,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"uh, six years old, 18 inches, eight pounds?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, honey, honey. Your name, age, height, weight."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"They need it for you for some reason, okay?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, so, stay with me."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"uh, felonies, misdemeanors, trouble with the law?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I will go slower, okay? I'll slow it down."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"But still, rapid fire with me."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, right with me? Rapid fire. Okay. So name?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Anna Hicks. - Okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Age? - 29."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Older than I thought. Good for you."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Um, height, weight? Rapid fire?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Five, three. I don't weigh myself. - Yes, you do. Everyone does."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Got it. Um, okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So many questions on this stupid form!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(laughs) lt's so thorough. I don't know why."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Um, any... any run-ins with the law? - (door closes)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Like, felonies, misdemeanors? - Oh, my God!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Is he dead? - No. He's just fine."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"We reattached his tail, and he's gonna be A-okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Thank God. My little Gravy Wavy. - We just didn't"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"want this collar to get lost in the shuffle. It's so pretty."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Mm."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, thanks. (sighs)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Um, so you have... you have... you have a boyfriend, huh?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"That was the next question on this weird form."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"But you have a... ? So, you... Yes, to... yes, boyfriend, yes?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Yeah. Haven't said it out loud yet, but, um,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I guess he is my boyfriend."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Mm."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You know, um, since Gravy's A-okay,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"why don't I take your mind off of this,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and we'll just gab like girls?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So tell me about the boyfriend, girlfriend."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and we've only been seeing each other for a couple weeks,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"so, I guess it's casual, but he's so nice, so helpful."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I've been slammed at the salon lately,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and he's been helping me out a ton, making deliveries,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Mexico! Oh, my God! - And he doesn't even"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"ask any questions. He's so nice. Yeah."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"And I feel bad for him. He's been through"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"some really tough times, had some toxic relationships."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Toxic? Is that... is that, uh, his word,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"your word, or Britney's word?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"His word. Toxic."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"He doesn't like to badmouth his exes,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"but this one girl he dated hounded him to propose."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"His word. Hounded. And then he dated this"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"psycho who... get this... quit her job,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and then moved across the country to be with him,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"even though they hadn't seen each other in, like, ten years."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Crazy, right?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"It also... it also could be unfair."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No. This girl sounded legit bonker balls."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"She told him that she was pregnant"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"with his baby, and then two seconds later, said"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"that she wasn't pregnant with his baby,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and then begged him to have... period sex."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Excuse me. What happened?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(speaks high-pitched gibberish)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Let's not slut-shame the lady"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"just 'cause her libido doesn't go away during menstruation."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"That girl, whoever she is, should be commended."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Period sex, period sex... ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"When Josh finds out"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"He absolutely loves this cat."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Right, but, I mean, how is he even gonna find her? Him?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"The salon's security footage."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- What? - What?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I took over the salon from a jeweler,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"so the entire front of the salon has cameras."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"if it's the last thing that I do."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Did you hear that... Madge?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I did, Allegra."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"or this place looks quite promising."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Maybe we could buy it. Okay, look, I was trying to mislead"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"a new house. We really need"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"to get that security video,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"or we are absolute toast, so how are we gonna get in?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Do you have a diamond ring that we could use to cut glass?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Maybe there's a kitty door or something... ?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"How about we use these?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, my God, she has the cutest stuff."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You stole those? Yes."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I don't feel bad about it, either."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"She was begging for me to do it."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Leaving the house with that fancy purse?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"And then leaving it on the floor all wide open"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"with the tip of her keys poking out?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Did I take her keys? Damn right I did."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Anyone would have done it."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"If anything, I'm the real victim here."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, so we need to have a serious talk about consent."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So, consent is something that must be initiated..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay. Wow."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Don't mind us. We're just two lesbians."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Nothing to see. Nothing to see. Aah! Aah!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God, where is it? Where... ?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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