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Clips from BoJack Horseman - The Shot (S02E02)

"Sir, you can't send me to Vietnam."
BoJack Horseman
"That's what it says on your business cards."
BoJack Horseman
"You think I'm afraid of a few rioting hippies?"
BoJack Horseman
"Or whatever a laugh sounds like."
BoJack Horseman
"What the hell are you doing?"
BoJack Horseman
"Jesus Christ, you can't even smoke a cigarette right."
BoJack Horseman
"Are you punishing me for smoking or for stealing?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm punishing you for being alive."
BoJack Horseman
"Ugh."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't understand what started the fire."
BoJack Horseman
"We were just one shot away before we went on hiatus."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh. Well, glad you settled for me because Diane wasn't available."
BoJack Horseman
"What happened to da house set? Da White House set?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Things changed a little. -You cut the Nixon scene?"
BoJack Horseman
"Where we see Secretariat be morally corrupted"
BoJack Horseman
"But we were supposed to make a gritty movie about the real Secretariat."
BoJack Horseman
"-Warts and all. -Kid, "warts and all" don't pay bubkes."
BoJack Horseman
"That's showbiz."
BoJack Horseman
"That's the end of your name. We need to talk."
BoJack Horseman
"I want you with me, fifty-fifty."
BoJack Horseman
"and I just want a night off to enjoy them."
BoJack Horseman
"Are you the person to talk to about unclogging the toilet?"
BoJack Horseman
"Stuart, I'm your boss."
BoJack Horseman
"and next month the community center is doing Seussical."
BoJack Horseman
"I want to stock up on muffs."
BoJack Horseman
"I am Kinko."
BoJack Horseman
"orphan whose parents were murdered by rebels and will die young,"
BoJack Horseman
"probably from malaria."
BoJack Horseman
"Hi, Kinko. I'm Diane."
BoJack Horseman
"Now I finally realize that a triple hug is way more valuable than a Triple Crown."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, it was you. Wash your damn hands, you gremlin."
BoJack Horseman
"Your films are challenging and gritty, and they're great."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm not just saying that because they're full of lesbians."
BoJack Horseman
"we don't have an Oval Office set."
BoJack Horseman
"and we can make the movie we both want to make."
BoJack Horseman
"And the vice president was a hip-hop zebra named Zebro."
BoJack Horseman
"But on the bright side, was not our worst."
BoJack Horseman
"and steal the scale model."
BoJack Horseman
"[man as Nixon] Welcome to my library."
BoJack Horseman
"[in normal voice] Yeah, you know, some people say I look like Nixon."
BoJack Horseman
"Not because he's my dad or anything. That's crazy. Nixon's not my dad."
BoJack Horseman
"Is that the lighted exit sign from Nixon's boyhood home?"
BoJack Horseman
"All the pressures of being president."
BoJack Horseman
"-I don't see how we'll pull this off. -We're gonna need a crack team."
BoJack Horseman
"First, we gotta get the best lock-pick in the city."
BoJack Horseman
"-No way I'm doing that. -Got it."
BoJack Horseman
"Todd, can you pick locks?"
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, I'd love to help you out,"
BoJack Horseman
"What does Ethan Hawke know? We'll find out tonight. Rain."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, Waco, Texas! Terrible tragedy. What does Ethan Hawke know?"
BoJack Horseman
"in critically-acclaimed films and television shows."
BoJack Horseman
"I need your help with a break-in."
BoJack Horseman
"[tires squealing]"
BoJack Horseman
"[laughs] Who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at you. You're adorable."
BoJack Horseman
"The rest of you will create a diversion"
BoJack Horseman
"Once you set off the alarm, all the cops will go there."
BoJack Horseman
"I just came to fix your cable."
BoJack Horseman
"We're almost done."
BoJack Horseman
"You can do anything you want in life."
BoJack Horseman
"Remember, you're supposed to be writing about me."
BoJack Horseman
"You're here to help me help them by writing a book about me"
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, come on. Over here. Get it."
BoJack Horseman
"Why can't we all assume we're gonna make it out alive and go from there?"
BoJack Horseman
"Alan, we've got enough problems without worrying about your imminent death."
BoJack Horseman
"Like, look at this Thomas Kinkade painting."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack shouts]"
BoJack Horseman
"-elected president? -Let me guess, it was all a dream?"
BoJack Horseman
"I realized I was spending too much time being president"
BoJack Horseman
"and not enough time being a dad."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, my God. He's perfect."
BoJack Horseman
"We've found our Nixon."
BoJack Horseman
"-Okay, folks. -[all] Aah!"
BoJack Horseman
"-How about you enjoy this? Aah! -[both] Whoa, whoa, whoa."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm a wild card."
BoJack Horseman
"See you later!"
BoJack Horseman
"See, Jeff? This is what I'm talking about."
BoJack Horseman
"[all shouting]"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm your servant, of course."
BoJack Horseman
"How appropriate! Fetch me drink, wench."
BoJack Horseman
"This way is the library I built."
BoJack Horseman
"And over there is the statue of me building the library."
BoJack Horseman
"We need to make room for my new hospital."
BoJack Horseman
"but the survivors need a new hospital and we need to build it."
BoJack Horseman
"We only gave him a line so he wouldn't call the police."
BoJack Horseman
"[Kelsey] All right, so, BoJack,"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh. I don't cry in front of other people."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, another beautiful, serene day in magical fantasy-painting world."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"We're doing a three-picture deal about his waterwheel."
BoJack Horseman
"What? No!"
BoJack Horseman
"I don't know. It's your fantasy."
BoJack Horseman
"If you really wanted the simple life, you'd have a simple life."
BoJack Horseman
"[sing-song] Bye!"
BoJack Horseman
"Hey. Yeah, I got rid of her. Now this place is all mine."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"This isn't just for me."
BoJack Horseman
"It's for John Carroll Lynch, C.C.H. Pounder,"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm character actress Margo Martindale! [chuckles]"
BoJack Horseman
"-Yeah, the coverage in Cordovia is-- -Diane, Diane."
BoJack Horseman
"The truth is, I really am so proud of you."
BoJack Horseman
"but you're actually out there helping people."
BoJack Horseman
"It's... good."
BoJack Horseman
"I miss you, too, but I promise,"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm sorry that I thought I could do this."
BoJack Horseman
"And I'm sorry I made you come here."
BoJack Horseman
"But this moment is bigger than that."
BoJack Horseman
"This is the moment that Secretariat stops running."
BoJack Horseman
"Huh."
BoJack Horseman
"[crying]"
BoJack Horseman
"-Hey, where's Kelsey? -Oh, yeah, funny story."
BoJack Horseman
"-What? -We got a movie to finish, okay?"
BoJack Horseman
"get your butt up that chimney, and do your thing, Hamlet."
BoJack Horseman
"-♪ I'm BoJack the horse ♪ -♪ BoJack! ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Are you in?"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack] Hey, you got a problem? Take it up with my agent,"
BoJack Horseman
"[groans]"
BoJack Horseman
"What does Ethan Hawke know? We'll find out tonight. Da Bears."
BoJack Horseman
"but I'm super-busy recording promos"
BoJack Horseman
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