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Clips from Modern Family - Family Portrait (S01E01)

"I have to spend half my payday... [Crinkling]"
Modern Family
"We only have the photographer for an hour. Okay."
Modern Family
"Is there really a more clear way to describe white pants?"
Modern Family
"He's super hard to find. That's the challenge."
Modern Family
"This portrait is incredibly important to me. Also, his name is just "Waldo.""
Modern Family
"You're wonderful. Thank you."
Modern Family
"- I love you. - Bye."
Modern Family
"The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's."
Modern Family
"Hey. Where's Luke? I'm going instead."
Modern Family
"[Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"- Little preparation next time. It's a mental game. - Duly noted."
Modern Family
"It's gonna ruin our whole family portrait."
Modern Family
"Your father was supposed to fix that step."
Modern Family
"I'm gonna call your dad, and he's gonna tell me how to fix this."
Modern Family
"You know what, they're starting. I gotta go. Okay, bye. [Beeps]"
Modern Family
"As long as I don't what? Cam? As long as I don't- Oh, God!"
Modern Family
"- With Martin Luther King Jr. - Martin Luther King?"
Modern Family
"Did you cut any other famous hair? Oh, yeah."
Modern Family
"[Mitchell] ♪ We love to play in Lily's room ♪"
Modern Family
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"
Modern Family
"[Grunts]"
Modern Family
"like when it comes to picking a husband. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"If you would've come with me to the wedding, none of this would have happened."
Modern Family
"You're just lucky that pigeon didn't want to chat you up about the weather."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Well, then the picture's happening."
Modern Family
"Uh, Mrs. Dunphy, the sun is setting."
Modern Family
"Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?"
Modern Family
"Oh."
Modern Family
"[Clicking]"
Modern Family
"Okay. Everybody, one more time."
Modern Family
"Just so you know, I am angry with you. I knew it!"
Modern Family
"Oh, shut up, Cam. [Lmitating Wings Flapping]"
Modern Family
"Jay! Oh, my God."
Modern Family
"No. No, we're not."
Modern Family
"[Jay] Back in '68, when I was sweeping up hair in that barbershop,"
Modern Family
"one day I would end up with- perfect wife, perfect kids."
Modern Family
"Guess what. I didn't get any of that."
Modern Family
"I think I'm just gonna go with the Elvis stuff."
Modern Family
"Uh, to the right. To the right."
Modern Family
"- I love that picture. - Yeah."
Modern Family
"- Oh, hey, honey. Have a great time at the game. - Thanks."
Modern Family
"Ordinarily, I'm a rule follower,"
Modern Family
"but when someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium,"
Modern Family
"that's when I get a little nuts. [Crinkling]"
Modern Family
"It's a free country, right?"
Modern Family
"Let's just say it ruffles me... [Crinkling]"
Modern Family
"When some goobers tell me... [Crinkling]"
Modern Family
"On their hot dogs. [Crinkling]"
Modern Family
"Please, just remember the family portrait."
Modern Family
"Okay? And, sweetie, did you have a chance to try on the white pants I put in your closet?"
Modern Family
"Oh, what do they look like?"
Modern Family
"Sweetie, if they don't fit you, you're going to be the only one not wearing white,"
Modern Family
"and then you're gonna stand out like "Where's Waldo?""
Modern Family
"Actually, "Where's Waldo?" Doesn't stand out."
Modern Family
"I spent weeks trying to find a time that works for everybody..."
Modern Family
"and finding the right photographer."
Modern Family
"So if you could just promise me that you'll cooperate, okay?"
Modern Family
"I promise. Okay."
Modern Family
"This is amazing that you're doing this. Mmm, thank you."
Modern Family
"Get in here- [Crinkling]"
Modern Family
"Oh, no can do. Oh."
Modern Family
"[Birds Chirping]"
Modern Family
"Where's my good underwear?"
Modern Family
"The question is, why isn't all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice living."
Modern Family
"Put on the first thing I grabbed. It was like a crotch tourniquet."
Modern Family
"You gotta talk to her. Why me?"
Modern Family
"Hola. You both speak the same language."
Modern Family
"She's Portuguese. Do you know how offensive it is..."
Modern Family
"that you put all of us in the same mixing pot? [Doorbell Rings]"
Modern Family
"Sorry. Please apologize to her when you tell her not to put my underwear-"
Modern Family
"I can't talk to her!"
Modern Family
"Hey, guys. Hey."
Modern Family
"Luke suddenly remembered a school project due tomorrow."
Modern Family
"Oh, that's tough. But it's a good lesson for the kid."
Modern Family
"You know, you make a commitment, you gotta follow through."
Modern Family
"Yeah. What is the project?"
Modern Family
"He has to interview somebody who lived through the 1960s."
Modern Family
"Oh, no. [Cell Phone Rings]"
Modern Family
"[Beeps] Hello."
Modern Family
"Yeah, Luke. Oh, sure. I remember what I said."
Modern Family
"Yeah, come on over. All right. [Beeps]"
Modern Family
"Gloria, you're gonna have to take Manny to the game."
Modern Family
"Yay. Manny, ¡vamos!"
Modern Family
"I'm still getting dressed."
Modern Family
"Hey, Mom, I think my diet's working."
Modern Family
"My underwear won't stay up."
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪"
Modern Family
"Oh, so delicious. Yes."
Modern Family
"Hey, you're okay with me not going with you today, right?"
Modern Family
"I have been hired to sing at a wedding this weekend."
Modern Family
"I was plucked from obscurity after a particularly stirring karaoke performance."
Modern Family
"So I guess you could say I'm a professional singer now."
Modern Family
"Well, they're paying you in flowers, so-"
Modern Family
"Well, I would've blown the money on flowers anyway. They're saving me a step."
Modern Family
"Plus all the great divas are rewarded in flowers."
Modern Family
"They're also given paychecks."
Modern Family
"And I'm really bad at small talk, so-"
Modern Family
"I get it. It's not a problem."
Modern Family
"Are you sure? 'Cause you've been quiet all morning."
Modern Family
"It's because I'm resting my instrument."
Modern Family
"[Softly] Okay."
Modern Family
"I feel tension."
Modern Family
"♪♪ [Speakers: Rock] [Cheering]"
Modern Family
"[Man] Kobe! Kobe, over here!"
Modern Family
"Kobe! Kobe! Over here!"
Modern Family
"What can I do for you?"
Modern Family
"Do you like being a basketball player?"
Modern Family
"Serious?"
Modern Family
"I choked. I didn't think you'd look up here at me."
Modern Family
"- All right. - [Man On P.A.] Your Los Angeles Lakers!"
Modern Family
"[Keys Clatter]"
Modern Family
"- What's wrong? - That broken step."
Modern Family
"Okay, here's my idea. I'm really excited about it."
Modern Family
"The whole extended family, all dressed in white,"
Modern Family
"in a single-file line down the staircase."
Modern Family
"Oh, like a line on the highway. No."
Modern Family
"Or, uh, a ski jump. No."
Modern Family
"Why- Why would I want a ski jump? I don't know."
Modern Family
"My idea was to have the whole family in a giant bed, like in Willy Wonka."
Modern Family
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