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Clips from Seinfeld - The Tape (S03E03)

"...can be in your head tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"You know, keep the soap alive on the soap-support system?"
Seinfeld
"...a hair transplant?"
Seinfeld
"The guy's just standing around. Suddenly:"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, whatever you have to do. - I was working..."
Seinfeld
"My show from last night."
Seinfeld
"- Did you do it? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Nothing at all."
Seinfeld
"I did. I'm trying to call China."
Seinfeld
"It's like, what, 3:00 in the morning there."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"Man."
Seinfeld
"...while I was on stage."
Seinfeld
"I want to slide my tongue around you like as-"
Seinfeld
"- Let me hear. - Wait, wait, wait."
Seinfeld
"...by faking a cure for baldness?"
Seinfeld
"This woman left this sexy message on Jerry's tape-"
Seinfeld
"Not that, you idiot!"
Seinfeld
"I can't believe it."
Seinfeld
"Get me a cup of decaf."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - I can't get over it."
Seinfeld
"Sexy?"
Seinfeld
"...I want to slide my tongue around you like a snake."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"You?"
Seinfeld
"And I got this impulse."
Seinfeld
"- What? - No, nothing. Nothing."
Seinfeld
"And the jockey got off the horse and started chasing him."
Seinfeld
"...illegal in some states, for consenting adults."
Seinfeld
"Things you would know very little about."
Seinfeld
"No, she didn't leave her name or number."
Seinfeld
"- Where are you going? - Home."
Seinfeld
"- Why are you doing this? - Why do I do anything?"
Seinfeld
"...adult film star..."
Seinfeld
"Do you speak English? English!"
Seinfeld
"...that I needed to make this film work."
Seinfeld
"So, what scene are you getting ready to shoot now, Elaine?"
Seinfeld
"Follow me. Is George Costanza."
Seinfeld
"And he plays an airline pilot..."
Seinfeld
"That's my Chinese food."
Seinfeld
"That's in my contract."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, hello?"
Seinfeld
"English!"
Seinfeld
"Does anyone speak English?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, look!"
Seinfeld
"Get a money order from the Bank of China."
Seinfeld
"You do plenty."
Seinfeld
"No, no. Not really."
Seinfeld
"I am up for anything."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"I have to say..."
Seinfeld
"...you were really good doing that porno thing."
Seinfeld
"- Thanks a lot for the ride. - Yeah, anytime."
Seinfeld
"Thanks a million. I appreciate this."
Seinfeld
"What is that?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, Georgie boy, guess what I got."
Seinfeld
"Wait, wait. Let's videotape your head for the before picture."
Seinfeld
"- No kidding. - Yeah, he's in jail."
Seinfeld
"That's what I intend to find out."
Seinfeld
"How long are you supposed to leave it on for?"
Seinfeld
"Did you find out who that woman was?"
Seinfeld
"So I guess you figure you're in for a pretty wild night."
Seinfeld
"Well, listen, I'm at Arlene's. You want me to stop by?"
Seinfeld
"She's coming up."
Seinfeld
"I would say every two and a half to eight weeks."
Seinfeld
"...and I rolled over, and I cut her ankle with my big toe."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Jerry, listen."
Seinfeld
"I got too much to do. I can't come over. Forget it."
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay, too bad."
Seinfeld
"- Bye. - Bye."
Seinfeld
"That was Elaine. She changed her mind. She's not coming over."
Seinfeld
"We're having a great time, couple of laughs. Everything's nice."
Seinfeld
"What is he doing here now?"
Seinfeld
"She must be psychotic or something."
Seinfeld
"I'm not giving you the number."
Seinfeld
"I know how to handle these psychotics."
Seinfeld
"Sheriff."
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing here now? - I have to talk to you."
Seinfeld
"Let's take a look here, see what we got."
Seinfeld
"I think I see something here, George."
Seinfeld
"- Let's go to the videotape. - Oh, Kramer. No, no."
Seinfeld
"- What's up? - I can't tell you now."
Seinfeld
"He'll be over there for a half-hour. He gets lost over there."
Seinfeld
"No, I got the tape right here."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, let's do this later."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I would like to talk to George for a minute, please."
Seinfeld
"Like the big toe captain? What?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, so you're doing my bit? - I'm not doing the bit!"
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna take a look at this, huh?"
Seinfeld
"- Does she know? - No."
Seinfeld
"- Wait a second! Give me a second- - You heard it 50 times already-"
Seinfeld
"Okay, I promise!"
Seinfeld
"- ...from, you know- - Hi, George."
Seinfeld
"Hi, how you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Where did you come up with all that stuff?"
Seinfeld
"Wait."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, I can't believe that that is you."
Seinfeld
"No matter what a woman says, if it's in that breathy voice, you know..."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"The stewardess could lean over and whisper in my ear:"
Seinfeld
"We're about to go into a mountain."
Seinfeld
"...is really quite amazing. Hair on your shower soap yesterday..."
Seinfeld
"Did they have the guy take a shower, get his soap..."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes the body rejects the transplant..."
Seinfeld
"...with organs. Is it possible that a head could reject..."
Seinfeld
"It lands in someone's frozen yoghurt."
Seinfeld
"You see, the gaskets that you have here..."
Seinfeld
"...are asymmetrical."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - So I took off the motor relay..."
Seinfeld
"...on the compressor because you've got some discoloration."
Seinfeld
"...with one mount at a time."
Seinfeld
"You know, because you don't want to disturb..."
Seinfeld
"- ...the position of the compressor. - No, you don't."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what are you listening to?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, you taped it? - Yeah, I was doing some new material."
Seinfeld
"Did you ever do that thing on the toes that I said?"
Seinfeld
"You know, how, like, the big toe is, like, the captain of the toes."
Seinfeld
"But sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big..."
Seinfeld
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