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Clips from Three's Company - Helen's Job (S02E02)

"What-What happened?"
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"Did you ever see the movie Earthquake?"
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"The cafeteria was like that?"
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"Only after it quieted down..."
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"when the rush hour was over."
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"Oh, well, a lot of people have trouble their first day at work."
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"Oh, you're not thinking of quitting, are you?"
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"But you can't quit after just one day. You can do that job."
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"Oh, I can do the job. I just don't want it."
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"You know the nicest thing that happened to me today?"
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"Somebody gave me a free lunch."
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"Well, that was nice."
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"Yeah, they dumped it all over my dress."
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"Pea soup. Well, accidents do happen."
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"Yeah, maybe he didn't see you."
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"I don't think he could see anything."
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"It's the first restaurant I've ever been in..."
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"where the customers sip their coffee from brown paper bags."
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"What are you gonna tell Mr. Roper?"
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"I think I'll get down on my knees and beg his forgiveness."
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"Oh. Well, then he'll say, "I told you so.""
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"Oh, yeah. Oh, you're right."
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"Oh, every day for the rest of my life,"
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""I told you so, Helen.""
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"Oh. I can't go back to Stanley."
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"I can't go back to work. What am I gonna do?"
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"Well, maybe if you... Hold it. Just hold it."
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"Now, if you girls are through meddling, I'll take over."
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"You're gonna go downstairs and change your dress, freshen up, and come back here."
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"And when I bring Mr. Roper back from the Regal Beagle,"
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"you will tell him what a beautiful, glorious, successful day you had at work."
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"And while I'm at it, why don't I also tell him..."
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"that I met Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?"
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"Trust me."
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"- Is there anything I can do? - Yes, you've got the most important job of all."
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"- What's that? - In 30 minutes, turn off the oven and take my cake out."
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"Jack, wait a minute. Wait, wait."
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"What are you gonna do? Well, what do you do..."
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"when you put a crooked screw into the wall and you wanna take it out?"
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"You unscrew it? That's right."
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"So I'm going to unscrew what the two of you just screwed up."
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"You want another beer? Why would she wanna take a job?"
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"I don't know. Some women like to get out of the house."
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"But why Helen? I mean, I'm home with her all day."
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"You want another beer?"
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"No, thanks, I had enough. Oh, Mr. Roper, I found you. I got something to tell you."
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"After all, we men have to stick together, you know."
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"You want a beer, Jack? No, thanks. That's fine."
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"I just saw Mrs. Roper. Big trouble. Big trouble."
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"That's my wife. No, no, you don't understand what I mean."
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"She's only been on the job one day, and already there's this big change."
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"Big change? Well, yeah."
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"She's talking about a new purpose in life, a new sense of freedom."
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"She sounds full of confidence. There's a-a glow about her."
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"Yeah. She's been having those flashes lately."
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"It's probably from meeting all those new men at work. Men? Men? What men?"
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"Well, but then, you know, Mrs. Roper isn't the type..."
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"to be taken in by good looks and flashy clothes, is she?"
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"Of course she is. Why do you think she picked me? [ Clears Throat ]"
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"Well, it's a shame losing your wife over a few dollars."
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"I haven't lost my wife. Maybe not."
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"But if I were you... And I'm not..."
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"[ Together ] Thank God."
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"Too late? What do you mean, too late?"
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"She was talking about this guy who was asking her for a date. Guy? A date?"
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"Yeah, right. With Helen?"
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"Sure. My Helen?"
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"Right. Oh, my God!"
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"I had to change right down to my skin."
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"I think that soup was made with sulfuric acid."
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"I guess you wouldn't wanna give the restaurant another shot, would you?"
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"Oh, I'd love to, right between the owner's eyes."
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"Jack? Are you all right? [ Panting ] I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine."
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"- Where's Mr. Roper? - He's c... He's... I-I..."
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"[ High-pitched Voice ] I had to run to get here ahead of him so we could really..."
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"Jack? Jack, is everything okay?"
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"Everything's perfect. Mrs. Roper, he's gonna beg you to come back."
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"Oh! Thank you, Jack!"
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"But you gotta tell him you love the job and you don't wanna give it up."
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"But I do wanna give... give it..."
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"all-all my time."
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"It's such a lovely place to work."
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"Oh, hello, Stanley. Hello."
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"Why'd you run past me like that?"
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"Oh, I-I-I just remembered, I hadn't had my daily jog yet."
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"I didn't think you guys ran. I thought you all flew."
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"Your mind is really brimming with meretricious fallacies, isn't it?"
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"I try to think so. Yeah."
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"Now, Helen, about your job."
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"Yes, Mr. Roper, she's loving that job. She had a wonderful day."
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"- She did? - [ Mouthing Words ]"
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"- Fantastic day. - You did?"
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"[ Chuckling ] [ Chuckling ] Oh, yes."
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"It was a day, all right. Quite a day."
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"And a nice man even insisted on giving her his lunch."
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"A nice man?"
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"Helen, listen, I've been thinking."
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"Maybe I've been wrong about your housekeeping money."
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"- Oh, really, Stanley? - Oh, you sure were wrong."
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"Why, Mrs. Roper's doing so well, her boss is gonna give her a raise."
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"She's gonna get $150 a week."
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"Oh, Stanley, you were saying that..."
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"- $150 a week? - That's right."
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"Stanley, you were saying that you thought maybe you were wrong."
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"There's no maybes about it. I was wrong."
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"Oh, thank you, Stanley."
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"Helen, that money'll come in handy."
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"But, Stanley... Come on, Helen."
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"Where are you going? Downstairs to wait for my dinner."
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"Oh! Now I'm right back where I started!"
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"- Mrs. Roper, I'm really sorry. - I have an idea. What if we..."
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"I can't stand to see you beaten."
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"Beaten? Oh, hey, I'm not beaten, Janet."
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"He may have won the battle,"
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"but I'm gonna win the war."
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"Yeah! Bring our boys home now!"
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"What?"
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"Helen, where's my dinner? I'm starved."
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"because tonight we're having your favorite..."
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"Peanut butter."
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