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Clips from The Golden Girls - Second Motherhood (S01E01)

"I think I might have stumbled on something"
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"that could change the face of plumbing as we know it."
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"Oh, great, Rose! Call the Ti-D-Bowl Man."
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"He'll jump in his boat and spread the news."
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"Oh, girls, I'm just so glad you're still up. Wait till I tell you about my date!"
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"- Wait till I tell you about my discovery! - Let's hear it."
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"It came to me when I was enjoying my second cup of Ovaltine..."
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"Richard flew me to Atlanta for dinner in his private jet!"
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"You're kidding!"
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"...and that's when it hit me. We don't even need our sludge tube."
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"Rose."
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"And then for dessert, he took me to this most romantic little bistro."
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"And while the waiter was glazing my peaches,"
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"Richard took my hand. Know know what he said?"
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"- What? - Our biggest worry will be tank sweat."
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"Sorry."
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"He said that tomorrow, he wants to introduce me to his family."
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"If that is not the last step before a marriage proposal,"
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"- I don't know what is. - Oh, that is wonderful!"
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"Girls, I'm so excited! Just imagine being Richard's wife."
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"I would be married to a gorgeous, intelligent man."
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"I'd be living like a queen!"
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"Think about it in your room, Your Highness. I need to use the throne."
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"You're a wonderful plumber's assistant, Dorothy."
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"Boy, you sure know your way around a snake."
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"I've had a lot of experience."
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"After all, I was married to one for 38 years."
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"We're right on schedule. We ought to have that toilet tank in by sundown."
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"By sundown, by sundown! Oh, this is such fun!"
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"- I know. - This is so exciting."
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"This is so depressing."
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"Oh, it's Saturday night, I'm all nervous and jumpy"
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"because in a few hours, there will be a handsome new toilet at my door."
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"What's going on here?"
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"I walk into the bathroom, and instead of a toilet,"
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"there's a hole in the ground."
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"For a minute, I thought I was back in Sicily."
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"Sophia, I'm sure Blanche wouldn't mind if you use her bathroom."
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"I hate that bathroom. There's plants everywhere"
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"and flowers on the toilet seat cover. I feel like I'm going in the woods."
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"Gee, I hope that's our new toilet!"
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"Now that's a sentence you don't hear every day."
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"- Plumber. - Could I see some identification?"
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"Come on in."
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"So you two are the proud parents of the new Dolan Standard Lowboy."
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"Yes, we're sending out engraved announcements."
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"You probably want to get her operational as soon as possible."
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"After all, she's quite a showpiece. Where do I install it?"
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"Well, actually, Lou, we're going to install her ourselves. Follow me."
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"- Hold it. You're not serious? - Why not?"
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"Ladies, the installation of a toilet's a very delicate procedure."
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"You got to go to school, you got to be a trained technician,"
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"you got to be a man, for God's sakes!"
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"You know, to tell you the truth, Lou, women are capable of more"
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"than just cleaning these things."
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"Is that so? Well, as long as you ladies are playing plumber,"
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"why don't you play moving man, too?"
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"Fine, fine, we will!"
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"- Was that a plumber? - No, Ma, no."
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"It was a little girl selling Girl Scout toilets."
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"- You let a plumber get away? - We don't need him!"
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"Like hell! I'm going after him."
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"Come on, Dorothy, let's move this little beauty."
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"- OK. - Oh!"
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"Ooh. Wait, wait."
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"No, honey, she won't budge."
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"I don't think we're going to be able to move it."
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"If the Egyptians built the pyramids, now, we can move this toilet."
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"Fine, get me 20,000 Hebrews and I'll have it out of here in no time."
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"Oh, come on. Give me a minute, I'll think of something."
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"I'd love you to meet my roommates."
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"Unfortunately, they're not home right now."
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"I'll talk to you later, darling. Bye."
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"Bye."
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"- Oh, Blanche, I'm sorry. - Oh, forget it."
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"Girls, I have something very important to tell you."
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"- What is it? - Look."
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"He proposed!"
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"Oh, Blanche, that is the biggest diamond I've ever seen!"
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"- I know. - Oh, I think this is wonderful!"
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"It was wonderful! It was beautiful, it was romantic,"
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"it was just everything I dreamed it could be."
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"Oh, Blanche, we're so happy for you."
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"Well, don't be. 'Cause I can't marry him."
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"Why can't you marry him?"
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"You remember I told you Richard wanted to introduce me to his family?"
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"I thought it would be his little old gray-haired mama and his spinster aunt."
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"- Turns out, he has two kids. - Blanche, we've all got kids."
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"But these are seven and nine."
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"Goodness, I've already raised my family."
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"I don't have the energy to go through that again."
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"Well, then Blanche, how could you accept his proposal?"
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"Because it was the moment I've been dreaming about"
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"and everything was just so perfect and before I knew it, I said, "Yes. ""
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"Only now, I have to tell him no."
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"I don't know what I'm gonna do."
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"Blanche, honey, calm down."
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"Let's talk it out. You'll feel better."
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"Oh, there's nothing to talk about."
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"I already know what both of you are gonna say."
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"Dorothy will say he's too good to give up over something like this"
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"and she'd marry him."
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"You'll say he's been nothing but trouble from the start and you wouldn't marry him."
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"- I'd marry him! - Oh, I wouldn't."
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"What?"
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"Well, no! I don't want to be a mother again either."
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"Oh, I'd love to be a mother again."
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"Scrubbing socks, picking up toys?"
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"Tucking in beds, packing healthy lunches."
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"- Phone calls, pajama parties? - Dance recitals, baseball games."
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"- Cooking? - Singing."
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"- Worrying? - Praying."
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"Girls! I thought we came in here to discuss my problem."
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"Sorry, Blanche."
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"I just hate myself for feeling this way, but I don't want to be a mother again."
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"I mean, it was a wonderful experience at the time,"
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"but I always thought this part of my life was supposed to be for me."
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"Honey, I understand exactly how you feel. I feel the same way."
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"You know, at our age we should be grandmothers, not mothers."
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"Once a week, the grandchildren come over for a visit."
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