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Clips from The Golden Girls - Second Motherhood (S01E01)

"Now there's a dying art. What's your point?"
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"a little late in life. Oh, I'll go."
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"Oh, yeah? You got Siamese twins living here?"
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"With all due respect, I think it's time you threw in the dishtowel."
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"- Hi, girls. - When did you get back?"
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"The real problem is..."
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"Knock it off. It's water, not oil."
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"Your heart is true"
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"You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"You would see the biggest gift would be from me"
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"And the card attached would say"
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""Thank you for being a friend""
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"I wouldn't bother getting another estimate."
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"For that bathroom repair, that's the lowest you'll see."
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"Are you kid? This is the highest I've seen. Look."
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"$3,000!"
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"Hey, ladies, hire whoever you like, but I'm an expert."
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"I can take a toilet apart blindfolded."
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"The point is, a lot of things can go wrong."
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"- Wood rot, loose plaster, cracked pipes. - Crooked plumbers."
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"- Lady, what are you trying to say? - Get out."
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"All right. I guess you ladies are going into your feminist phase"
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"You'll call me back. You know why?"
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"Because as we say in the plumbing game..."
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"The nerve of that man, trying to intimidate us."
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"I mean, he must really think we're stupid."
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"Really stupid! How could we possibly need three dozen spud gaskets?"
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"What are spud gaskets?"
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"That what goes on the end of a hose bib."
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"We couldn't need more than a dozen at most."
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"Rose, how do you know about this?"
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"Oh, I know a lot about plumbing."
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"We always did our own plumbing on the farm."
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"'Course, we didn't actually get plumbing till I was 18."
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"Rose, tell me something."
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"How difficult would it be for us to repair that bathroom ourselves?"
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"It wouldn't be difficult at all."
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"Oh forget it, forget it. It's a crazy idea."
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"You got that right."
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"You're not a mechanical person. You never were."
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"For the first three months of your life, you tried to breast-feed off my cameo."
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"Rose, come on. Do you really think we could do it?"
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"It might take a little time, but we'd sure save a lot of money."
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"Then let's give it a shot."
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"Great, my unmarried daughter wants to spend her weekend with a toilet."
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"Now I can die in peace."
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"Could I please borrow your long rhinestone chain?"
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"Of course, Blanche."
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"Why not? What's Dorothy gonna do with it, snake out a toilet?"
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"It's just so hard to dress for these dates with Richard."
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"I never know where we'll end up."
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"Oh, come on now, Blanche."
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"Even the paperboy knows where you'll end up."
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"You know what I mean."
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"With Richard, I have to be prepared for anything."
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"Last week, he asked me out to lunch. We ended up going horseback riding."
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"I've always been afraid of dating a wealthy man."
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"Why, Rose? Fear of gold bullion?"
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"No. It's just that sometimes, rich people think more about money"
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"than they do about people."
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"Richard's nothing like that and I don't think he ever could be."
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"He is simply the sweetest, kindest, most handsome man I've ever met."
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"Only I do have a small problem with his money."
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"Oh, why? You don't think you'll live long enough to spend it all?"
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"No. I mean, I just don't want him to think that's the only reason"
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"I'm attracted to him. That's why, whenever we're out together,"
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"I always pretend to be totally unimpressed by his wealth."
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"Isn't that kind of difficult?"
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"Oh, no, not at all. I don't give a hoot how much he has."
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"Fact is, I think I'm falling in love."
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"Oh, come on now, Blanche."
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"Are you telling me that you'd feel the same way about him"
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"if he didn't have a dime to his name?"
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"Absolutely. I'd just have to see other men behind his back."
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"Oh, come on."
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"Oh, my goodness, no! Oh, come back here! Oh."
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"I see you're right at home in a private jet."
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"Oh, well, I always try to take a private jet whenever I jet."
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"And here I thought I was impressing you."
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"Oh, well, it's a perfectly lovely jet, Richard,"
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"but there was really no need to fly all the way to Atlanta for dinner."
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"I'm just an old-fashioned girl. I would have been very happy"
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"- with a quiet dinner at home. - You would?"
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"Absolutely!"
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"I'll just tell the pilot to turn the plane around."
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"No, wait! Oh, that won't be necessary."
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"My goodness, we're 10,000 feet up."
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"Besides, I know how you have your heart set on it."
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"- Blanche, you're adorable. - I know."
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"You know, I've dated a lot of women,"
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"and every single one of them has been impressed by the caviar"
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"and the expensive restaurants"
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"and the jet."
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"Hell, even I'm impressed by the jet."
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"I haven't been wealthy all my life, you know?"
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"- Oh, really? - No."
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"I started out in the shipping department of a large manufacturing company."
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"And after lots of hard work and long hours, ten years later,"
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"- I owned the company. - Uh-huh."
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"And now, I own a lot of companies with branches all over the world."
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"And the amazing thing is,"
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"the work is just as exciting to me now as it was the day I started."
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"How about some champagne?"
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"This isn't meant to impress you. This is just to get you tipsy."
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"Oh, Richard, you rascal!"
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"You know, I've made a lot of money and I've seen a lot of the world."
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"But there's still one thing in my life that's missing."
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"- What? - Someone to share it with."
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"- I was hoping you'd say that. - Did that champagne kick in yet?"
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"No, but if you're ready to make your move, I can pretend it did."
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"Aah! Oh, Dorothy, you scared me. What are you doing up so late?"
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"Honey, do you know what's behind that wall that you're banging on?"
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"A lateral fusion pipe."
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"And do you know what's on the other side of that lateral fusion pipe?"
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"- No. - My head!"
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"I'm sorry. It's just that I was so excited."
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