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Clips from Blackadder (1982) - The Archbishop (S01E01)

"a nice cheeseboard, fruit bowls, waterproof sandals..."
Blackadder (1982)
"— They're obviously fake! — Ha! Yes."
Blackadder (1982)
"But how will people tell which are the real relics?"
Blackadder (1982)
"They won't. That's the point."
Blackadder (1982)
"It is a bone from the finger of Our Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"Good Lord! Is it real?"
Blackadder (1982)
"It is, My Lord. Baldrick, you stand amazed."
Blackadder (1982)
"I am. I thought they only came in boxes of ten."
Blackadder (1982)
"I could've given you one of mine."
Blackadder (1982)
"This is the Sacred Appendage Compendium Party Pack."
Blackadder (1982)
"Jesus's nose... St Peter's nose..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, no. They're Joan of Arc's."
Blackadder (1982)
"Bastard verger! I'll show him!"
Blackadder (1982)
"I'll show him!"
Blackadder (1982)
"And what can I do for you?"
Blackadder (1982)
".."'s various enemies."
Blackadder (1982)
"— We fear he may be in danger. — Really? How?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Let me see. Perhaps good King Richard,"
Blackadder (1982)
"— angry with the Archbishop... — Don't know why."
Blackadder (1982)
"..might well send two drunken knights fresh from the Crusades"
Blackadder (1982)
"on a mission to wreak vengeance on him."
Blackadder (1982)
"Good point. It has happened before."
Blackadder (1982)
"— George de Boef. — How do you do?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Justin de Boinod."
Blackadder (1982)
"And your mission?"
Blackadder (1982)
"..a bit of time... before our next Crusade."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, right, yes."
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, Ill just go and get him."
Blackadder (1982)
"Ah, Baldrick, a couple of knights to see the Archbishop."
Blackadder (1982)
"Monks!"
Blackadder (1982)
"No, there's two men outside who've come to kill you."
Blackadder (1982)
"Feel free."
Blackadder (1982)
"Help! Help! Oh, my God, help us!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Ya—ah—h! — Ya—a—ah!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Ya—a—ah—h!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Falsetto) Oh, I think they went that way."
Blackadder (1982)
"God bless you!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Quick! In here!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(They titter nervously)"
Blackadder (1982)
"Pray, Sister, have you seen two burly knights pass this way?"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Cracked falsetto) Er, no, Sister. More's the pity!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Why don't you try that way?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— (Normal voices) Thanks. — You're welcome."
Blackadder (1982)
"And yet, Mother Superior,"
Blackadder (1982)
"No, I don't think so, Sara."
Blackadder (1982)
"Shall we check the dormitory?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, yes, Mother Superior. Good idea!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Who is the ringleader?"
Blackadder (1982)
"You! Yes, you, the plain girl!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, my God! It's the Archbishop of Canterbury!"
Blackadder (1982)
"And a man! Ooh—h!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Er, I think I can explain. (Giggles weakly)"
Blackadder (1982)
"And that, sweet lady, is the whole story."
Blackadder (1982)
"Once appointed Archbishop,"
Blackadder (1982)
"you began to dress up like a nun."
Blackadder (1982)
"The irresistible texture of the hessian underthings!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Then you forced the Bishop of Ramsgate"
Blackadder (1982)
"and Brother Baldrick to do so also."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, may I be cursed for it!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Finally, you got two knights drunk"
Blackadder (1982)
"and invited them to wrestle with you inside the nunnery"
Blackadder (1982)
"It bears the ring of truth and I must therefore tell you"
Blackadder (1982)
"that I have written to all Popes recommending your excommunication."
Blackadder (1982)
"Never more may you be Archbishop of Canterbury!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, dear!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Enough, Sister Sara. I think he's learnt his lesson."
Blackadder (1982)
"Sorry?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh. Ow! Ow!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Go, sirrah, and meet thy doom!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Ominous organ chords)"
Blackadder (1982)
"# Good folk, lock up your son and daughter"
Blackadder (1982)
"# Beware the deadly flashing blade"
Blackadder (1982)
"# Black Adder, Black Adder"
Blackadder (1982)
"# Black his codpiece made of metal"
Blackadder (1982)
"# His horse is blacker than a vole"
Blackadder (1982)
"# With many a cunning plan"
Blackadder (1982)
"# Black Adder, Black Adder,"
Blackadder (1982)
"Presumably you won't be needing the unicorn tonight?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Urgh—h!"
Blackadder (1982)
"I think...not!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— He's hanging on. — Must be on his last legs."
Blackadder (1982)
"How many sets of legs has that man got?"
Blackadder (1982)
"I wish he'd make up his mind."
Blackadder (1982)
"That's the third this year! How did this one die?"
Blackadder (1982)
"They tend to go for religious types."
Blackadder (1982)
"Fine. And secondly..."
Blackadder (1982)
"We've got the thumbscrews, the foot—crusher, the nose—hooks,"
Blackadder (1982)
"Right, let's go."
Blackadder (1982)
"The only change is if you could go and put your face in some manure"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Eh? — Get Percy! Get Percy!"
Blackadder (1982)
"But if I do not gain its blessing, I will surely go to Hell!"
Blackadder (1982)
"The thing about Heaven is that Heaven is for people"
Blackadder (1982)
"— I'm so sorry. — It's OK."
Blackadder (1982)
"Who's that?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Curses, pardons, relics and selling the sexual favours of the nuns."
Blackadder (1982)
"murder, adultery, dismemberment of a friend or relative."
Blackadder (1982)
"What is it?"
Blackadder (1982)
"St Francis's nose..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch your names."
Blackadder (1982)
"does not St. Paul say in The Ephesians,"
Blackadder (1982)
""A woman is like a bat —"
Blackadder (1982)
"I've told you a thousand times,"
Blackadder (1982)
"fighting in the dormitories is forbidden!"
Blackadder (1982)
"I can understand that."
Blackadder (1982)
"Quick! The nunnery's on fire!"
Blackadder (1982)
"# Black Adder, Black Adder"
Blackadder (1982)
"# He's very bad indeed"
Blackadder (1982)
"being struck by a falling gargoyle off Beachy Head."
Blackadder (1982)
"Kill him!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, you won't be able to fool everyone. Look!"
Blackadder (1982)
""often heard but never seen."?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Let's go over the facts again."
Blackadder (1982)
"# He rides a pitch—black steed"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Very well. — Alas."
Blackadder (1982)
"No, I'm the Archbishop of Canterbury."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, My Lord, My Lord! Wake up, wake up..."
Blackadder (1982)
"It cost me 31 pieces of silver."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, my God, there's no way out!"
Blackadder (1982)
"you found all your interests lay in beautiful vestments."
Blackadder (1982)
"You see, I will go to Hell."
Blackadder (1982)
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