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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Two Turkeys (S05E05)

"for the second turkey, a very normal thing to have brought."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- This is actually very good because now everybody could see"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"who cuts the turkey better. - You're on."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Wow. Really mature. - You're just saying that"
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"because you know my dad's gonna win."
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"- As if. - Hey, Roger,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You like jokes. Here's one."
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"if you fly as slow as you cut a turkey."
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"- Joyous. - Uh, Camila,"
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"did you put your stuffing in my ceramic?"
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"What did she say? - She said it was a bowl."
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"Bet you didn't know I understood Spanish."
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"- Very impressive. You learn that"
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"from one of your mistresses? - Yeah."
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"- Roger's really good at sex too."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Ha, ha, I'm so grossed out. - You know what?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sick of you looking down your nose at us."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"but we don't look down on other people."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I mean, you come into our home and you act like we're idiots."
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"- I just cut my thumb off."
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"I think it's-- it's bad."
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"- Yeah, I got it right here."
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"It's not just sitting on the ice cream."
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"- Okay, just fill out these forms."
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"Someone will be with you in a bit."
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"There's something you gotta know, Jake."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You have three half-sisters. - What?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He can't die. I've gotta hear more about this."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- It's a holiday, we're understaffed,"
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"we'll get to your father eventually."
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"You know who this man is? Captain Roger Peralta."
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"- It's just that we're understaffed."
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"- No excuses. You're going to take this man"
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"to the OR right now or I'm gonna sue you"
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"Uh, go with him."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Thanks, that's nice. - I love you, nurse."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I love you lady in the scarf."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Significantly less meaningful."
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"- I love you candy machine. - Victor, that was amazing."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Thank you so much for coming. - Of course."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"They're still cleaning up all the blood."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Yeah, there was so much. They might have to move."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Babe, I'm really sorry about all the things I said."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You know, I didn't mean it. - Yeah, me neither."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And, look, this is all my fault."
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"and I forced it, so it's on me."
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"Nurse?"
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"- Hello, Raymond. Ready to go to dinner?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Yes, but I have some unfortunate news about our pie."
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"It was thrown away. - No."
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"And I know who did it. - Who?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- You all bragged about your Thanksgiving plans."
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"Trying to cover up your dark secrets,"
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"but there was one other person who was also overcompensating."
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"[snaps] You. Kevin."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[slo-mo] Plain scone. Plain scone."
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"- I should have known you were lying."
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"There's nothing better than a plain scone."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Placed gently with two hands inside the bin."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's exactly how you always throw away garbage."
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"Why'd you do it? - Because it's disgusting."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Oh, my. - That pie is an abomination."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It has beef suet and apple seeds in it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"If we brought that to my family's house,"
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"hey would have said something."
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"I was trying to protect you."
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"- Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"
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"to Saratoga Springs."
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"The two of us driving in silence,"
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"looking at the barren trees. It's perfect."
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"I... I didn't wanna lose that."
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"I'm sorry. - I don't know why we can't"
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"still make the drive next year."
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"We just don't have to buy the pie."
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"[chuckles] Raymond..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Hey, Dad, how's it going? - I'm fine."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Oh, that's great. So you'll be able to fly again?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You just hit one button."
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"The plane takes care of the rest."
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"Oh, looks like Mom's already tuckered out."
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"- Yeah, you know how tired she gets when she drinks."
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"She won't be up for 12 hours. - Hey, Jake,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"you know how you said you always wanted to have"
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"a big family Thanksgiving? I had five brothers,"
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"three sisters, four aunts, and 12 cousins"
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"who spent every holiday together."
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"I had the kind of family that you dream of."
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"That seemed like a really mean place to stop,"
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"but you're taking a long pause."
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"- When we all were together... - Ah."
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"- Huge mess. I can't tell you"
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"how many holidays I spent in an ER."
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"- [chuckles] - But that's what it means"
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"Like this one."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And apparently my family's a lot bigger than I thought."
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"How many half sisters did you say I have, Dad?"
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"- I only told you about the sisters?"
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"- Come on. - Roger, I want to apologize"
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"about you wanting to pay for the wedding."
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"- I'm sorry too. It was stupid."
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"I was just feeling insecure because--"
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"- 'Cause I gave Jake the watch?"
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"but the watch, yeah, sure."
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"- I was thinking, if you wanna pay for the wedding,"
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"it would be fine, but we can split it."
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"It's up to you."
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"- That seems fair."
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"You're a good dude. Come here, give me a hug."
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"Give me a--hug me. Hug me."
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"Bring it in. - Oh, Jake, it's happening."
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"- Oh, it's magical."
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"Best Thanksgiving ever. - [sighs]"
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"- Yep, Dad, your gown's riding up."
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"- Oh. - It's out."
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"- Ooh, I-- - It's out."
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"- Not a doctor. Shh."
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"[fabric ripping] Gobble."
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"Okay, our dads both golf. Our mom's both paint."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[together] It's a pie. - It is a pie."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"it's also Ava's birthday, so we do it up huge."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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