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Clips from New Girl - Kids (S01E01)

"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
New Girl
"Nick, put on some pants."
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"Go! Go!"
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"Uh..."
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"Like Nick?"
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"Hey, I gotta... Yes."
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"Just... Sarah?"
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"Because I'm freaking out that you're not freaking out."
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"Hey. I'm watching you."
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"Hey, you know what, Chloe?"
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"Where are you going? Look, I'm sorry about this, man."
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"Michael Strahan makes me feel like an idiot, okay?"
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"Shut up! Both of you!"
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"I got my period. Ha, ha, ha."
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"I mean..."
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"No more stupid mistakes, right?"
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"Okay, Cece. There's a marathon downtown."
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"All right. You in? You in? Okay."
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"But you're using birth control, right?"
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"Yeah. Of course."
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"It's just that Schmidt gets so athletic, that birth control becomes..."
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"like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane."
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"I didn't wanna know that."
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"Okay. The pregnancy test doesn't work until after six days."
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"So just get through the weekend."
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"And don't tell Schmidt until you're sure."
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"Yeah, no. Of course not. Of course. It's just..."
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"I can't stop thinking about what a Schmidt baby would be like."
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"Just... I mean..."
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"I don't know."
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"Would it just wanna nurse 24 hours a day?"
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"Probably."
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"- We could make it, like, a douche baby jar. - Heh, heh, heh."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Ladies. Ladies, what is all the screaming about?"
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"Oh, my... Jess, have you finally agreed to be our third?"
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"Because we've discussed this."
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"- We have never talked about that. - What? This is not the time."
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"We were thinking what you might have been like as a baby."
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"Oh. I was the bomb-diggity as a baby."
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"I mean, I was, like, breakdancing at 8 months old."
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"They say I needed a Magnum size diaper."
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"Oh, my God. - Get out. Seriously."
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"It's Jess"
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"What's with the suit? If you say swing dancing, I'm gonna slap your face."
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"My boss is gonna be on TVtoday."
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"Michael Strahan's new talk show. On the Strahan Narrow."
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"- Great show. - Got too many DUls to drive himself."
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"- I gotta take him. - Stay out of my room."
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"Cece is resting."
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"Hey, guys. Listen up."
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"Sarah's gonna be here in a few, so best behavior."
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"- Who's Sarah? - Russell's daughter."
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"So no F-bombs, P-bombs. Actually, no B-through S-bombs. No bombs."
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"No bringing home college girls, Berlusconi."
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"- Ha, ha. - Hey, that's not fair."
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"The girl I've been hanging out with is totally mature and interesting."
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"Please put on pants. Everything you say sounds creepy when not wearing pants."
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"- Your hair looks nice. - Ugh!"
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"- Mmm. This coffee is smoldering. - So creepy."
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"- What's with the babysitter? - He's seeing if I can be a mom."
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"- You nervous? - Nothing I can't handle. I'm her teacher. So..."
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"Oh, she's here."
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"- Or at least some really high socks. - High socks it is."
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"- Hi, Miss Day. - Hi, Sarah."
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"I can be here in under five minutes if I need to be."
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"Honestly, I wouldn't have agreed to this except my husband's out of town..."
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"and you're Sarah's favorite teacher and my husband's favorite teacher."
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"Hey, I hope this doesn't sound rude, but, um..."
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"You keep saying "husband" and I just wanna make sure you and Russell..."
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"you're not still married. - Ha, ha, ha."
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"Oh, no."
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"I just wanted to make sure there wasn't important information..."
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"that I totally missed. Okay. - No."
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"But he'll always be my husband, if you know what I mean."
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"Yeah. Actually, could you explain what you mean very clearly?"
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"Cece's acting really weird. Do you think she's getting tired of me?"
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"I mean, look, it's been like months of nonstop sex."
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"What can I do if she doesn't let me hit fifth chakra?"
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"- I'm not listening to this. - I'm just saying..."
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"Do you think she wants something more than sex?"
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"Do you think she's finally becoming a girl? I can't handle that."
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"- Hey, boss. Hm? - What are you doing? Look."
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"- Wait, yesterday you said noon. - You think I've become too dependent..."
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"on the hot-lava massage?"
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"- I'm gonna be there in just a second. - Costumes. I made her dressed up too much?"
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"I'm not gonna sit here and bond with you about this."
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"I gotta go babysit my boss."
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"You gonna stay? We're gonna borrow your pasta maker."
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"Oh, that's great. You gonna teach Sarah your recipe for overcooked mush?"
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"Ha, ha. No, I'm teaching her about Italy. - I'm coming with a date. Chloe."
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"You are not bringing those girls around Sarah."
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"Hey, you must be Sarah. And you guys are wrong about Chloe."
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"Chloe is smart and she's mature and she knows about art..."
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"and famous artists like Banksy..."
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"and the guy who did the Obama poster and, you know, like, Chalk Outline Guy."
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"That's stupid. Heh, heh."
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"Your eyes are so brown."
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"They look like poop."
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"Be honest. Do my eyes look like poo?"
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"- There's a bit of a poopy-ish hue. - Old poo eyes."
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"Oh, hey."
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"- I like your house. - Not my house."
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"- What's going on? - I'm sweating spicy ban hoaw..."
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"and wearing a woman's shoes."
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"- What you think is going on? - Trying to give you an opportunity to lie."
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"Trying to be polite."
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"Actually, the ancient Egyptians..."
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"made pasta by flattening the dough with their feet."
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"Cool, huh?"
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"Sarah?"
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"Hey."
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"Why do you have so many bras? You're a teacher."
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"Teachers need bras too. You know, like, a lot of erasing and stuff."
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"It's like:"
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"That's an after-school bra."
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"Can I get out of homework because you're dating my dad?"
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"No."
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"Hey, Sarah, I know having your teacher dating your dad is weird."
New Girl
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