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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - A Woman's Right to Chop (S14E14)

"Hey. Might be some fleas up in there, but she good."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"ANNOUNCER: A Christmas Carol premieres December 19 at 7:30 on FX."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"MAN: Tonight, look upon the evl"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"that you did."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"ANNOUNCER: A Christmas Carol premieres December 19 at 7:30 on FX."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"DENNIS: My God, for the love of God, there's two more of 'em."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"FRANK: I mean, it's giving me indigestion."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-CHARLIE: Yeah, man. -MAC: I'm tired of looking at it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's that new salonthat opened up down the street."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-why you guys give a shit. -Why do we give a shit?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Yeah. -These women have mutilated themselves, Dee."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's an abomination."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Once you go down that road, it's,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"you... there's no turning back."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's just, like, the dumbest hat, too, like..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"a little comedy hat or something."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That's their actual hair... Why would anyone do that?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"MAC: Wait a second. Poppins?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Oh, shit. -Oh, my God, it's Poppins!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Poppins! He came back!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"How the hell is that dog still alive?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Put him down? What, are you crazy?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"This is my dog, Dee. I love him."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"DEE: Well, he doesn't love you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Comes around every three or four years,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"eats a bunch of batteries or whatever,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"takes a giant dump on the floor,and then leaves again."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Dee, Poppins comes and goes as he pleases"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"'cause that's his right as a male."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-FRANK: Mm. -Right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And if we decide to leave, we're gonna leave."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Traditional roles are ridiculous,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and they're made up by men."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"If I want to have a baby and then abandon that baby,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I have the right to do that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Oh... -A woman abandoning her child?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-DENNIS: Yeah, that's awful, Dee. -FRANK: That's cheap."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And it's not natural. You know what I mean?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Like those haircuts. I mean, they..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"that's traditionally a man's look."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Women can't just adopt it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know? I mean, look, it's one thing"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"for, like, a 60-year-old art critic to do it,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"but, I mean, these are young, sexually viable women"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"making themselves no longer sexually attractive to me,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and that upsets the natural balance of things."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"If women want to get short, ugly, lesbian haircuts,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"then they deserve to do that because it's their body"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and, therefore, their choice."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, you're gonna make it about that?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know what? Killing babies is wrong, Dee,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and God forbids it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Here comes another one."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- It's too much!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"something is wrong with Poppins."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I mean, it's not like he's never been sick before."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Yeah. -This is... Look, check this out."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Oh, yeah. That's not good. -Nothing. Nothing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-I mean, it's just like..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, I-I picked it up at the hardware store"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-when you were grabbing coffee.-Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. Why?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I want to jump-start Poppins's system."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know? But it's not working.Maybe if I do it longer?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-What if I feed him my coffee, right? -Mm-hmm. Yep."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You blast him with the air horn,a-and that might wake him up."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, and maybe I'll scream into the other ear."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Okay, yeah. Give it a whirl."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, uh, am I not doing it right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Do you want to give it a go?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Uh, no, I don't. And, yes, you're doing it correctly,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I just prefer you not feed your dog coffee"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and blow an air horn repeatedlyinto its ear canal."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"uh, sleepiness is not Poppins' problem."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Oh, no. Is it a tumor?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"If it's not, could you say it in that really funny"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Arnold Schwarzenegger voice that's, like, so funny?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-: "It's not a tumor." -You know what I mean? And that always, like... Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-"It's not a tumor." -It's funny when he says it, too."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-and then it's not gonna be funny. -Is it?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well, uh, there's good news and there's bad news. Right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Uh, the good news is that Poppins is pregnant."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Wait. Poppins is a girl?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, you didn't know your dog was a female?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I mean, one time I tried to give him a belly scratch"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Uh, "she." -Say what now? -Huh?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
""She-She's a monster.""
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I can't believe that Poppins is gonna be a father."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-A mother? -He is?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Hmm... Okay. Uh, do you two not understand gender?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-No, I mean... -Well,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-we don't really do gender at our bar anymore. -Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Mm-hmm. -Like, gender's so, like, old school."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Like, I-I don't identify... -Um, I'm so sorry"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'm afraid that she most likelywill not survive the delivery."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-He won't? -Again, she."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And, uh, yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It's a miracle that shewas evenable to get pregnant,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"so when shegives birth,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"shewill most likely die."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well, you got to kill those babies, then."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That's a good idea. Do you have any doctors here?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Let's go. -I'm a..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"DENNIS: Got some information for you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-You're gonna want this information. -Great hair. Keep the hair"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-the way it is. -Very important information, honestly."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Keep your hair the way it is. It's really great. -Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-You going in here to get the... Yeah. -I was."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"over the course of an entire year?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Did you realize that? Isn't that mind-blowing?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Think about that for a second. You know? -Mm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Here. Grab that for me, if you will."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Oh, my. -Yeah, it's something else. -You can't get your hair cut."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-You don't want to do that. -Um, now I'll tell you something."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"With luxurious locks like yours,it could take, oh,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-Okay. Thanks. -Well, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"If that doesn't convince you, there's more. Um..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Listen, are you familiar withthe television series Felicity,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"-starring Keri Russell? Yeah. -Yes. Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
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