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Clips from Mr. Mayor - The Sac (S01E01)

"My sister's cousin had a Finsta,"
Mr. Mayor
"If Ms. Adams were a man, society would praise her"
Mr. Mayor
"for having a front bulge in her pants."
Mr. Mayor
"and pictures of her in her bra"
Mr. Mayor
"- That's enough, Orly."
Mr. Mayor
"got turned into a devastating meme about sadness."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sorry, Ms. Adams."
Mr. Mayor
"- How's your sister's cousin not also your cousin?"
Mr. Mayor
"- You're Ms. Adams?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, you're missing the point."
Mr. Mayor
"Is what I tell people, 'cause I know that."
Mr. Mayor
"You need to know what Orly's posting"
Mr. Mayor
"Look, Ms. Adams, Orly was just being kind."
Mr. Mayor
"before she embarrasses the city."
Mr. Mayor
"Don't you think the other girls are to blame here?"
Mr. Mayor
"[sly music]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Fair enough."
Mr. Mayor
"- So true."
Mr. Mayor
"Orly, you are not suspended."
Mr. Mayor
"- [sighs] Thank you, Ms. Adams. - Oh."
Mr. Mayor
"For the city."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"Yes, thank you, Ms. Adams, and can I just say,"
Mr. Mayor
"- If you want me to hack your daughter's Finsta,"
Mr. Mayor
"I love what you're doing with the white stripe."
Mr. Mayor
"say nothing and just be, like, so tall and leave."
Mr. Mayor
"- Don't. - Oh, yes."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"I was touched by a ghost."
Mr. Mayor
"."
Mr. Mayor
"- If you could have a dinner party"
Mr. Mayor
"- Yup. Well, um, goodbye."
Mr. Mayor
"with anyone, living or dead--"
Mr. Mayor
"I knew I didn't have to worry about you."
Mr. Mayor
"- Eleanor Roosevelt, her girlfriend, Lorena Hickok,"
Mr. Mayor
"You're a good kid. Proud of you."
Mr. Mayor
"and Wayne Brady, 'cause he just cracks me up."
Mr. Mayor
"- Since I'm such a good kid, can I have money"
Mr. Mayor
"- [chuckles] What is your fondest memory?"
Mr. Mayor
"to go to the movies with Ceviche later?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Seeing a bachelorette party fall off a haunted hayride."
Mr. Mayor
"- What's your greatest fear?"
Mr. Mayor
"- [chuckles] What are you guys seeing?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Holes, clusters of holes."
Mr. Mayor
"- "Stab Massacre 2.""
Mr. Mayor
"- What? - It's called trypophobia."
Mr. Mayor
"Basically, when I see a cut-open pomegranate"
Mr. Mayor
"- "Stab Massacre 2"?"
Mr. Mayor
"No way."
Mr. Mayor
"or an empty "Connect 4" grid,"
Mr. Mayor
"Scary movies give you nightmares."
Mr. Mayor
"You remember when the guy in front of you on the plane"
Mr. Mayor
"to my mind, it looks like diseased flesh."
Mr. Mayor
"was watching "It""
Mr. Mayor
"I almost fainted today when Neil showed that...honeycomb."
Mr. Mayor
"and then we had to cancel your birthday party?"
Mr. Mayor
"[harp glissando] - Ooh, a bee apartment."
Mr. Mayor
"Come on. - Okay, fine."
Mr. Mayor
"[tense music]"
Mr. Mayor
"But I'm keeping the hundo."
Mr. Mayor
"- I was feeling so good till then."
Mr. Mayor
"[smooches]"
Mr. Mayor
"You think Bremer did that to mess with me?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Just like her mother."
Mr. Mayor
"He could have access to my psychological evaluation."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- What? No. Are you crazy?"
Mr. Mayor
"Showed you a bunch of holes?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sorry I don't have a radio."
Mr. Mayor
"Just a bunch of close-together holes?"
Mr. Mayor
"It got stolen by the guys that live in my car at night."
Mr. Mayor
"- It's fine. I got a lot on my mind."
Mr. Mayor
"- Talk about something else. - Okay, um..."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"would you like to make eye contact for four minutes?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sure."
Mr. Mayor
"- So I'm making coffee. Would you like some?"
Mr. Mayor
"- What's that now?"
Mr. Mayor
"- You're starting to drift into the oncoming lane."
Mr. Mayor
"- I mean, um, what is your dream day?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Yup. [horn blares]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Honestly? This."
Mr. Mayor
"[sly music]"
Mr. Mayor
"Taking an important issue to the governor,"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"serving my constituency."
Mr. Mayor
"- I told Mikaela I had to step out"
Mr. Mayor
"Now, normally, the deputy mayor would not be dispatched"
Mr. Mayor
"to take an important call."
Mr. Mayor
"What? My handyman is dead?"
Mr. Mayor
"to do a job this big,"
Mr. Mayor
"How's it going?"
Mr. Mayor
"so either the mayor does not know this,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, so I cross-referenced Orly's public profile"
Mr. Mayor
"or else he's giving me rope to hang myself."
Mr. Mayor
"with her friends and who they follow,"
Mr. Mayor
"Tomorrow will either be the greatest"
Mr. Mayor
"then narrowed it down to just the privates:"
Mr. Mayor
"or worst day of my life."
Mr. Mayor
"@MzAdamsIzGross, @SpudHag--"
Mr. Mayor
"- What's your favorite salty food?"
Mr. Mayor
"- @PearlSquirrel05. That's Orly."
Mr. Mayor
"- Bran flakes."
Mr. Mayor
"- Are you sure? - Yes."
Mr. Mayor
"They have more sodium than you think."
Mr. Mayor
"Her middle name is Pearl, she was born in 2005,"
Mr. Mayor
"- What do you value most in a friendship?"
Mr. Mayor
"and her Harry Potter animal is a squirrel."
Mr. Mayor
"- Mutual respect, sacrifice,"
Mr. Mayor
"Man, I feel like an NCIS. - Great."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, so our next step is to make our own fake account"
Mr. Mayor
"similar milk preferences."
Mr. Mayor
"so that we can get in with these girls."
Mr. Mayor
"- Wow, you gave all your answers so fast."
Mr. Mayor
"- I think it's important"
Mr. Mayor
"What should our name be? - Nancy."
Mr. Mayor
"to know your stance on everything."
Mr. Mayor
"- No one under 60 is named Nancy."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, I got the best kid in all of Los Angeles."
Mr. Mayor
"- Aisha. - Stay in your lane, sir."
Mr. Mayor
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