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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Bracelet (S01E01)

"then maybe a colonel, tip the colonel. "How much, Colonel?""
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"What does the colonel get?"
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"I bet in school, you didn't put the little penny in the UNICEF slots?"
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"- I put a lot of pennies. - It's unlikely."
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"- Hello, excuse me? - Hello."
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"and you're the first people that have actually stopped."
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"Anyway, I hate to impose on you."
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"I wonder if I could just take up a few minutes of your time."
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"I need a little help."
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"I just moved into the neighborhood..."
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"and I have these boxes in the middle of my living room..."
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"and I actually just need a minute of your time..."
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"- I don't see. - Where do you live?"
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"It would help me so much if you could just help me."
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"How can you not help a blind man?"
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"How could you say "blind man," in front of a blind man?"
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"Please, no."
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"- I didn't mean that in a bad way. - No, no."
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"I meant "sightless." I respect the blind as much as anybody."
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"- It's not a problem, believe me. - I didn't mean that in a derogatory sense."
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"I got my own problems. I'm a recovering alcoholic."
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"- I have intimacy problems. - Poor guy, terrible intimacy problems."
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"Can't get close to a woman. It's a terrible thing."
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"It happens to be true. I am just saying, we're all the same."
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"- You guys have a lot in common. - There are recovering people who are blind."
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"Your problems are very similar."
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"- We'll help you move. - Thank you so much."
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"- We're right behind you, bro. - Thank you."
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"- Are you still there? - Unbelievable, you could do this to me."
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"My name is Michael."
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"Here it is. Thank you so very much."
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"This means the world."
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"What I need is the computer."
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"Do you see it?"
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"- Very lovely place you got, by the way. - Really?"
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"In the corner."
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"Try to think about my fingers once, will you?"
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"Great."
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"Just throw a little chair and I'm good."
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"- I can handle this. - The agapanthus, sorry."
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"This is very heavy."
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"- Member of the lily family. - Push it!"
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"I had a colonoscopy two weeks ago."
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"- There's nothing else, is there? - Where do you think I should put the TV?"
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"Okay. Listen, thanks. It's Mike."
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"- Larry. - Larry, thank you."
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"Thanks so much. Okay, thanks, all right."
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"Where do you want the mattress?"
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"In the bedroom."
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"- Okay, you're happy? You sure? - Yeah."
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"And it looks great, by the way."
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"Thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart."
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"You should be very happy, the place looks great."
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"Thank you, Larry. Thanks, Richard. And, you rule. Thank you."
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"Thank you so very much."
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"Just bring the TV in and stick it..."
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"in the fireplace there..."
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"and go."
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"Stick it in the recess of the fireplace."
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"- I don't know why we moved... - You told us to move it in the bedroom."
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"No, I did not! Richard said bring it in the bedroom."
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"You don't even want it. Why do you want it over here?"
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"For my guests!"
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"But it doesn't work in here! It just doesn't fit!"
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"That's where it belongs! Are you questioning my sense of space?"
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"Bring in the goddamn TV and be done with it!"
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"- This is not a marriage, can we just do this? - Thank you."
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"Because I have a lot of things going on in my life, too."
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"- Just bring it in! - So you know, l..."
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"We did a good thing, but I... Who knew?"
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"The blind man misled us, though."
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"- It's true, but... - He did mislead us."
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"He didn't tell us the truth about what we had to move."
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"He was a deceptive blind man."
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"I think if you're blind, you have some..."
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"You got a license, you got a blind license?"
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"I can finish my own thought..."
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"- You weren't doing a very good job of it. - I'm exhausted."
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"- You like that? - Shit happens."
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"Shit happens. That's great."
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"Let me see this thing that we wasted our whole lifetime trying to get."
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"- See, in the front, in the center? - On that little ramp thing?"
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"I know, it's nice."
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"Wave goodbye. It's good to see you."
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"I gotta tell you this."
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"- It was? - Yeah."
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"Look at you, Norman Vincent Lewis."
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"- No, I'm not Norman Vincent Lewis. - Are you Norman Vincent Lewis?"
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"You are never filled with any gratitude. You have no gratitude."
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"- You have more serenity? - In my own way I do."
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"I am in pretty bad shape, if that's the case."
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"- I mean, I love you. - You are just a babbling brook of bullshit."
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"I hear what you're saying, but I gotta tell you, Richie-boy..."
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"I don't think you know what you're talking about."
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"If they punt, the way the Giants' defense is playing, they won't get the ball back."
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"Let me ask you something."
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"You didn't happen to pick up my credit card at lunch today, did you?"
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"I don't know, I must have left it on the table or something."
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"Great, we're all made up. Everything's great."
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"Got her some roses. Boy, it's amazing how these roses work."
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"You want to buy the bracelet?"
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"Is it her birthday?"
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"Yeah okay, go ahead."
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"I gotta go. Cheryl's home."
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"Hi!"
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"- How are you, honey? - Hi."
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"Okay."
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"How's it going? It's football again."
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"- Is there a game on? - You didn't know that?"
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"Right now, on the TV?"
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"- You're kidding? - No. Not kidding."
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"How was your NRDC meeting?"
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"It was great. We're gonna have a big beach-cleaning day."
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"- Beach-cleaning day? - Yeah."
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"Like, thousands of volunteers, and we're gonna have booths..."
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"Hopefully, but not me, of course, but I wish everybody good luck."
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"Thank you, I would not expect you to get involved."
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"and I think, I really do want that bracelet."
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"You know what?"
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"I was gonna buy you..."
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