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Clips from Arrested Development (2003) - Courting Disasters (S05E05)

"[softly] You can do it. You're ready."
Arrested Development (2003)
"Everything go okay last night?"
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"I think I made a terrible mistake."
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"[Ron] In fact, she had,"
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"as, the night before, while believing"
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"she was paying a carnal visit to Dusty..."
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"[Lucille] Oh, it's so dark in here."
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"[filtered breathing]"
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"-I can hear you breathing. -[steady beeping]"
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"[Lucille chuckling] Oh, so you did know I was coming."
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"Good for you, getting a head start."
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"-And speaking of that... -[bed squeaks]"
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"that the tubes and other accoutrements weren't there"
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"-for Dusty's erotic entertainment... -[flatlining]"
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"-...but were instead the implements -[gasps]"
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"that kept Dusty's centenarian father alive."
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"-So, Lottie is his ex? -[sighs]"
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"Please. I've known you since you were 30!"
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"And you can call me "Mom.""
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"Mom."
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"If-- If the judge will allow it,"
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"permission to hug the defense counsel."
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"Hell yeah. Let's get the hug on."
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"-[Dusty] Yeah! Yeah! -[Lottie laughing]"
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"-[Lottie] Oh! My baby! [laughs] -[applause]"
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"What a [bleep] baby! [chuckles]"
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"-Shut up, murderer! -[indistinct chatter]"
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"and the hug of the opposing attorneys, Lucille caught up with Dusty."
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"I was a little nervous."
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"For my first murder trial, though, my first anything trial, not bad, right?"
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"I thought Lottie was your ex-wife."
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"Nah. I mean, she's a little old for me, don't you think?"
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"She's, like... [exhales] ...your age."
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"Look, I'm sorry. Maybe I wasn't clear about our relationship."
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"Uh, are you super mad at me?"
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"Oh, for God's sakes, stop talking like a child."
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"I mean, how old are you?"
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"-Fifty-six and a half. -Jesus!"
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"Pull yourself together."
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"Absolutely."
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"There you are. Okay. Now, Mom, what in the hell was that?"
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"I thought this was Dustin Radler,"
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"the fierce trial attorney,"
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"the only one who's ever beaten Lottie."
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"Well, as it turns out, the Dustin Radler I've been with..."
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"Oh, my God, he's a motherboy."
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"There were-- There were no hints before today?"
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"[Lucille] Just that I only ever seem to create or attract them."
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"All right. I made an awful choice,"
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"but did I give you a hard time when you gave all our life rights"
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"-That was somewhat amiss of you. -[Michael] Yes, you did."
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"As it turns out, nothing came of that project, which I predicted."
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"Just like I predicted your bet"
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"-She offered him gum. -[Lucille] Okay, I hired"
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"a completely incompetent lawyer and put my son's life in the hands"
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"of a moron, and I know what you want me to say, Michael."
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"Okay, I'll say it... My bad!"
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"Wow. I don't think that I have heard you apologize since, um,"
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"uh, since people used to use that phrase to apologize."
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"Okay, well, I think we may have to beg the judge"
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"-to declare a mistrial. -[Lucille] No."
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"We have to do this now while they still don't have a body."
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"It's our best chance for acquittal. We'll work with what we have."
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"Maybe her maternal instincts will kick in,"
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"and we'll benefit from her being his stepmother."
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"Yeah, I don't know about that. He's not a child, after all."
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"It occurs to me that he may not come back from recess"
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"unless he hears a bell. I'll get him."
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"[Ron] As the trial was continuing,"
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"Dusty was desperate for any kind of witness."
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"-with a headshot. -I was more than interested"
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"in Buster's trial."
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"-Thank you for offering. -[Buster] That's very nice."
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"I could play Buster with one arm tied behind my back."
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"In fact, I've played Buster with two arms tied behind my back."
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"I was handcuffed."
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"Well, this is... [grunts] They're buying it!"
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"on the stand, more just talk about him as a person."
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"Oh. Well,"
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"you don't think I'd be more appealing as the accused?"
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"I mean, the Buster I played could never kill."
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"[Dusty] Yeah, it's--"
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"it's really not an acting job, man. I can't..."
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"[Tobias] Yes, yes, just... don't push. I get it."
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"Just tell the story the way you told it to me earlier today."
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"Beginning with what you were doing the night of the murder. [gasps]"
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"[grunts] Alleged murder. Alleged."
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"[Tobias] Yes, yes."
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"[takes deep breath] It was Cinco... de Cuatro!"
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"[Dusty] No, no, no, I'm-- I'm gonna stop you there."
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"-I still feel you're acting. -Really?"
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"-A little. I do. -Huh."
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"[Tobias] So, just no script at all? Just vérité? Okay."
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"Well, uh, here it is with nothing."
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"I needed somebody to play a part in my..."
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"Fantastic-- for legal purposes, I can't say the rest of it-- musical,"
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"and Buster happily filled in."
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"I've got a show to do in ten minutes,"
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"I don't know the songs."
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"You're a monster. You don't have to be any good."
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"-What? -[Tobias speaking indistinctly]"
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"So, you're saying Buster was performing as the rock monster"
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"when the murder allegedly took place? Is that true, Buster?"
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"That's what I told you. He asked me to that night."
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"And you'll confirm that on the stand?"
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"I will."
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"[in English accent] And perhaps I'll do it in an English accent!"
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"[in normal voice] Nay, nay, I shan't. I shall stick to the script."
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"Not script. Nope. Vérité. I have taken the note... vérité."
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"-Yes, yes. -Great."
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"Now, I do wish I could do this gratis,"
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"but I'm having a bit of a shelter crisis of late."
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"-I hate to play hardball-- -[Dusty] I don't think"
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"that they pay witnesses."
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"Damn it!"
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"I just..."
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"[sniffles, voice breaking] ...need somewhere to s--"
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"[sniffles] All right, well, gentlemen, thank you so much for your time."
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"an unemployed Michael was doing his own courtroom preparation,"
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"-Hey, Dad. -...from the son who had unemployed him."
Arrested Development (2003)
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