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Clips from Only Murders in the Building (2021) - Double Time (S01E01)

"12E, and 10D"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"have violated our privacy and home"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"by making us all characters in a podcast."
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"that revealed a murderer in the building,"
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"which I‐I'm sure the rest of you all appreciate."
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"And for any fans, I do have"
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"some officially licensed"
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"tie‐dye sweatshirts, uh..."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"if interested. And only 49.99."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"Very slimming, as you can see."
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"‐ I bought a 12‐pound brisket for a dinner party,"
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"and now no one wants to come because we're the "murder building.""
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"What am I supposed to do with my brisket now, Brazzos?"
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"‐ [sighs] I mean, sandwiches?"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"for the murderer to investigate the murder?"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"I'm talking about you, Whitey."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"‐ Yeah, I think I'm getting that."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"‐ I've had four clients cancel therapy this week"
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"because they're afraid to come here."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"That lost revenue is on you."
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"‐ My kids are too scared to sleep in their own rooms."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"So now, I share my bed with people"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"who are actively shitting themselves."
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"‐ Well, sometimes you do have to make a mess to clean one up."
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"‐ Don't worry, folks. We're done."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"[Oliver and Mabel whispering]"
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"This is getting way too messy!"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"So, yes, the podcast"
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"and the investigations are over."
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"All will be back to normal hopefully soon."
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"[indistinct] [applause]"
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"‐ It's a little late for that."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"As per the building's bylaws,"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"if eight or more tenants file complaints"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"against another tenant, they can be evicted."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"We've already taken action on 10D,"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"but perhaps we should take a vote on 12E and 14C?"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"‐ Wait! What?"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"‐ You can't evict my aunt."
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"‐ No. Just you."
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"By a show of hands, who here thinks our building"
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"would be better off without these three fuckwads?"
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"‐ Hey! ‐ I, for one, am actually..."
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"grateful to the fuckwads."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"A toxicology report came back on my beloved cat,"
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"and Evelyn was poisoned."
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"[tenants gasping]"
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"With the same poison that killed Tim."
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"[murmuring] Mm‐hmm, mm‐hmm."
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"Furthermore,"
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"one of Evelyn's legs was missing when I removed her from my freezer,"
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"leading me to believe that the killer broke in"
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"and tried to steal Evelyn's body"
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"to cover his or her own tracks."
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"‐ Why would they just take a leg?"
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"‐ Howard."
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"You've had six complaints"
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"about noxious odors coming from your apartment."
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"So, if I were you,"
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"I'd keep my head down and put your hand up."
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"‐ Don't you bully him, Bunny!"
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"Enough with you and your New York co‐op power games."
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"‐ All in favor of evicting"
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"all three members of Murder, She Wrote?"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"Terrific! I'll start"
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"the eviction process today."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"The rest of you, if you're a murderer..."
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"stop murdering!"
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"‐ You know what? It's all gonna be fine once we solve this case."
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"‐ Stop with the fucking case. OSCAR: Whoa, you know what?"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"I'm gonna run errands that are not in that elevator."
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"‐ [sighs] Okay, everybody just take a breath."
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"Clearly, that didn't go well, but Oliver is right."
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"If we find the murderer, the board will have to reconsider‐‐"
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"‐ You two won't stop."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"My girlfriend's been stabbed. I'm losing my home now?"
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"‐ Buddy, we feel terrible about Jan!"
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"‐ We really do. And we shouldn't have dismissed her ideas."
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"for her character have been surprisingly positive."
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"‐ You're not hearing me. I'm done!"
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"I‐I‐I don't do dangerous things! That's why I have a stunt double!"
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"I'm surrounded by danger and pain!"
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"‐ Oh. It's mean Mabel,"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"who clearly has all the answers at 26. Please do share."
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"‐ She's not a kid."
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"And we should've known bett‐‐"
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"You should've known better, but you rushed into this podcast"
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"headfirst, like you always do,"
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"and you took two more bodies over the edge with you!"
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"Splash 2!"
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"An Oliver Putnam production!"
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"‐ Well, that was mean."
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"A great callback, but incredibly mean."
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"‐ I want you,"
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"and all of your things, out of my place."
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"Sorry, I'm not good at confrontation."
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"For the record, I'm 28."
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"[ding, elevator doors open]"
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
"♪"
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"‐ I just want to take care of my injured girlfriend for my final days"
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"in my home of 30 years."
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"Once my apartment is gone,"
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"she'll be the only good thing in my life."
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"‐ Charles. ‐ Of course."
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"‐ That."
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"‐ I get that Sazz pushes your buttons,"
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"‐ I think anyone great would cheat on me."
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"The truth is Sazz doubled me for sex scenes, too."
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"Apparently, my hip motions weren't natural,"
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"which I'm sure you noted."
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"And I just thought, you know,"
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"between that and the stabbing,"
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"you had plenty of reasons to look elsewhere."
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"They're surprising. ‐ Then, uh,"
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"‐ Because I have a big solo tomorrow night."
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"in which a first chair bassoon"
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"really gets to shine."
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"I'm just gonna stay at my place tonight."
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"‐ Think that's safe?"
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"‐ I'm a New York broad who's been stabbed. I can handle shit."
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
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