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Clips from The Brady Bunch - Law and Disorder (S04E04)

"Well, it's past your bedtime,"
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"Okay."
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"Oh, wow!"
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"What's the matter?"
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"I didn't know chewing gum was against the rules."
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"I've been illegal all term."
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"Yeah?"
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"You're chewing gum."
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"So?"
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"to chew gum in classrooms or hallways."
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"This is my post. No gum."
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"Who's chewing gum?"
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"Hey, wait! You're trying to swallow the evidence!"
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"I just did. Nyah!"
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"Won't do any good."
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"I'm not a chicken."
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"I'm just doing my job."
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"How do you spell your name?"
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"Last name first."
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"Well, he's..."
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"you know, every time we go someplace,"
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"she always gets carsick."
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"We have to give her this Dramamine..."
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"What's your name?"
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"Why?"
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"You just littered."
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"I tried to get it in the waste can."
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"That's what they all say."
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"Name, please. Last name first."
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"Come on, give it to me!"
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"Okay, you three hold it."
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"Right there. Hold it."
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"There is to be no disorderly conduct in the halls,"
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"especially at my post."
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"We were only trying to help him carry his books."
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"That's your story."
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"I know, last name first."
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"Boy, this is what I've always wanted... a boat."
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"Ha-ha. Me, too."
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"Give me a boat and a moonlit night,"
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"and I'm all set."
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"Haven't you forgot something?"
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"What? The girl."
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"Oh, she's there, little brother."
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"She's there."
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"Ahoy, there!"
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"Okay, kids, if we're going to go sailing,"
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"we're going to have to learn a little something about it."
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"With a boat this size,"
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"there really isn't much to learn, is there?"
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"Oh, yeah? Well, if you want to do it safely,"
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"there's a lot more than you think."
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"For instance, who knows"
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"which side is port and which is starboard?"
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"The left side is port."
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"Right. Yeah."
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"I know which side is starboard."
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"The right one."
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"Yes, that's right."
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"Well, I couldn't miss."
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"Okay, now, when two boats meet,"
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"The biggest boat."
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"No, no, no. The boat that's on the right."
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"It's the same as the rules of the road."
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"Yeah, but what if they're coming straight at each other?"
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"What are we doing? Hi, Cindy."
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"Well, we're learning a little bit about sailing, sweetheart."
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"Can I learn, too?"
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"Why, sure."
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"He's still busy at school."
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"What's he doing?"
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"He stopped seven kids"
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"from running down the stairs"
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"and he was still trying to get their names when I left."
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"Well, he's really serious"
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"about being the long arm of the law."
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"Hey, wait!"
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"You're running in the halls."
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"It's okay... It's my brother. Come on."
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"Cindy!"
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"What are you doing?"
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"What does it look like I'm doing?"
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"I know her name. What's yours?"
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"Last name first."
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"Bobby, you can't turn me in!"
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"I'm your own sister!"
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"Watch it."
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"I can also cite you for arguing with a safety monitor."
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"Neatness counts."
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"Thanks, Alice."
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"What's the cheese for?"
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"For you. All rats eat cheese."
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"What was that all about?"
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"Oh, she's just sore 'cause I was doing my duty."
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"I had to turn her name in"
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"'cause she was running in the hall."
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"Oh. That's why she had to stay after school?"
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"'Cause you reported her?"
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"Yeah. She was running in the hall."
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"When you break a rule, you have to get punished."
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"Well, I'll keep it down to a slow walk"
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"And he wrote down the names, even mine."
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"But that's his job, sweetheart."
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"Yes, but I'm his very own sister."
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"Well, that doesn't give you"
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"any special privileges."
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"The same rules apply to you"
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"that apply to everyone else."
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"I don't see why they should."
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"I'll try to explain it to you this way."
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"Let's say that Bobby was a policeman,"
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"and, uh, I drove through a red light..."
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"Accidentally, of course."
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"Well, I would expect him to give me a ticket."
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"Your own son?!"
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"Boy, if I ever had a son who was a policeman"
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"and he gave me a ticket,"
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"I'd give him a spanking."
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"I guess she was complaining about me."
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"You guessed right."
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