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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Ted Mosby, Architect (S02E02)

"we're broken up."
How I Met Your Mother
"Her name wasn't on your lease, was it?"
How I Met Your Mother
"'Cause if not, New York state law, you're not obligated"
How I Met Your Mother
"to give her half the deposit when you move."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, that's not really the part I was worried about, guys."
How I Met Your Mother
"Any personal effects she left in your house or dwelling"
How I Met Your Mother
"become yours after 30 days."
How I Met Your Mother
"Guys, can we cease and desist with the lawyer speak for a minute?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Love died."
How I Met Your Mother
"The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now."
How I Met Your Mother
"You should sue her."
How I Met Your Mother
"On the grounds of... shut up."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's our attorney general."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why? Because I listened to him."
How I Met Your Mother
"It was a strong and nurturing relationship"
How I Met Your Mother
"that I threw away like old gum."
How I Met Your Mother
"Not that I'm worried or anything, but, um, back to the sun rising"
How I Met Your Mother
"over Ted and, uh... oh, what tasteful way did you describe her?"
How I Met Your Mother
"The girl with the smackable ass."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes, that's the young lady."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, I know the bouncer at this techno club, Posers."
How I Met Your Mother
"Do you feel like dancing?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, okay. There is no way Ted went dancing."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted hates clubs."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, I was going to design a cathedral tonight,"
How I Met Your Mother
"kind of take a whack at the whole relationship between God and man conundrum."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, Marshall. You up for some super loud, repetitive music"
How I Met Your Mother
"that hasn't changed since the mid-90s?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's go."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, maybe this is a little bad."
How I Met Your Mother
"Dancing is bad. Dancing leads to sex."
How I Met Your Mother
"Did you grow up in that Footloose town?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm calling him. I'm telling him that I was wrong"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I'm sorry, and I totally want to listen to his stupid stories."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, think of another way to phrase that and you'll be fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"He's not answering."
How I Met Your Mother
"Calling Marshall."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hello."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, hi, it's Robin. Can I talk to Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, Robin, hi."
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, no, Ted's not here tonight. He's, uh... he's working."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, okay. Bye."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall just lied."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted's cheating on me."
How I Met Your Mother
"Excuse me. I'm looking for a couple guys who came in here earlier."
How I Met Your Mother
"One's about six-four, 210, sandy brown hair."
How I Met Your Mother
"And the other's a cheating bastard."
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"You're going to need to refresh my memory."
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"Okay, fella, baby knows how this game's played."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thanks, but seriously, it was crazy tonight."
How I Met Your Mother
"You really do need to refresh my memory."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted Mosby, the architect?"
How I Met Your Mother
"That's the one."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, yeah, he was here."
How I Met Your Mother
"And then I was all, "No, Frank Gehry. You're on your own this time.""
How I Met Your Mother
"And that, my dear, was the end of that hack's career."
How I Met Your Mother
"I live across the street."
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"That is one hell of a non sequitur."
How I Met Your Mother
"You want to come over?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I don't know."
How I Met Your Mother
"But I suppose I should at least give you a ride home."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hop on."
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"I'll see you at book club, Vinny."
How I Met Your Mother
"Dude, dude, what are you doing?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Galloping."
How I Met Your Mother
"You proved it, all right? The whole Ted Mosby, architect things works."
How I Met Your Mother
"Architects rule! Whoo-hee!"
How I Met Your Mother
"might find out that you're doing this?"
How I Met Your Mother
"It is tonight."
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"Whoo!"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm not telling you that for less than 20 bucks."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Well, I'm out of money. - I'm cashed, too."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll take your purse."
How I Met Your Mother
"My purse?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, my girl likes clutches."
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"Okay, fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"You should tell her that looks really good with a chocolate boot."
How I Met Your Mother
"No room for my gun. Here."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now where does the rodeo slut live?"
How I Met Your Mother
"The building with the green light, apartment 3-C."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, my God, Robin,"
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"are you going to kick this girl's ass?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and steal her purse."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't believe he's cheating on me."
How I Met Your Mother
"Six... no seven."
How I Met Your Mother
"And you know two of them, and they would surprise you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Should I just kick the door in?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's see if it's unlocked."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, get in there and kick some spankable ass."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I'm the problem. - What?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You were right."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't know how to be a girlfriend."
How I Met Your Mother
"I took the nicest guy in the world"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I made him a cheater."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, don't stand out here and beat yourself up."
How I Met Your Mother
"Get in there and beat Ted up."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll handle the slutty kickboxer."
How I Met Your Mother
"Actually, I'll take Ted."
How I Met Your Mother
"What do you think you're...?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, I'm totally lost here. Where's Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Awesome story. As per usual."
How I Met Your Mother
"How do you think Mr. Brady scored a babe like Carol?"
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"Solid point."
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"- And she did have hair of gold. - Yes, she did."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry, I forgot my binocs for Foxy Boxing."
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"Whoo, looks like things just got a little foxier right here."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes, they did. And you're just in time."
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"Yeah, stay."
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"Excuse us for one second."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, you were right-- the architect thing totally works."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yeah, you did. - Yeah, had to."
How I Met Your Mother
"See ya."
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"Sorry, my, uh... intern had to leave."
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"Oh, well, that's too bad."
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"Ted Mosby... architect."
How I Met Your Mother
"But none of that acclaim means anything compared to the joy"
How I Met Your Mother
"of seeing the sun rise over your first building."
How I Met Your Mother
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