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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.1 (S01E01)

"White power!"
Chappelle's Show
"Everybody, I have a lot of things to discuss,"
Chappelle's Show
"America's at war with Al Qaeda,"
Chappelle's Show
"(host) The Asian community was a target as well."
Chappelle's Show
"Let's talk about Chinese people,"
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"and all that silly "ching chang chong" talk."
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"White power."
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"If you don't like Will & Grace,"
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"It means there's something wrong with Will!"
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"He's a homosexual."
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"Politicians weren't spared either."
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"Colin Powell..."
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"maybe we should put her on a plate and send her to Mexico"
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"so the Mexicans will eat her... white power."
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"Who said that, you wanna see my face?"
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"Don't be afraid, Jasper."
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"(hollering)"
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"We talked about this..."
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"Don't be afraid, shine your light!"
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"Thank y'all for coming, white power!"
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"but irreparable damage has been done to his reputation"
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"he filed for divorce from his wife."
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""Because she's a nigger lover.""
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"Thanks for coming out, I'll see you next week."
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"I'm rich, bi-atch! (horn honks)"
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"Hi, thank you."
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"White power!"
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"That's right, I hate niggers, but I love skateboards."
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"Oh, okay, y'know what I'm doing wrong, apparently?"
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"and I'm supposed to talk to the TV audience."
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"That's very hard, to ignore"
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"and just pay attention to the theoretical motherfuckers"
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""White power my... pssht."
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"I have the power to change the station.""
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"Chappelle's Show. Chappelle's Show."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Oww."
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"Woo-hoo."
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"Yeah, yeah."
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"Let's start the show."
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"Dave"
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"(tires screeching)"
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"What the fuck are you doing?!"
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"(tires squealing)"
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"Dave Chappelle!"
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"Thank you."
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"This is the very first episode, I finally got my own show."
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"And, I mean, I'm serious."
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"As a matter of fact, I'll show you a little bleeper... blooper."
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"It's a bleeper of a blooper, though."
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"You gotta see that again in slow motion."
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"Look at my face when I see her titty pop out."
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"'Cause the whole time she was dancin',"
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"Y'know, this first piece, actually"
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"is dedicated to a copy place that I frequent."
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"And the reason I'm talking about them"
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"is because their service sucks."
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"Well, I have obtained a copy of their training video."
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"with your host, Ralph Henderson."
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"And if you're watching this video,"
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"at "Popular Copy"."
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"Me and my friends are gonna show you the basics"
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"of what it's like to work here."
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"Yeah! Yeah!"
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"Great."
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"First of all, never show up on time,"
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"and if a supervisor happens to ask you where you were,"
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"Manuel, why were you late?"
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"Man, I got here when I could!"
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"Shit, you're not my fucking moms!"
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"Perfect!"
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"Occasionally, you may get snagged"
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"by one of these customer people."
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"Just remember, your job is to frustrate them"
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"If you can, rap up a story"
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"that will make them feel uncomfortable."
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"For instance..."
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"you understand what I'm saying, right?"
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"I mean, you know my reputation."
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"I don't give a fuck,"
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"I'll go to Rikers for three or four years"
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"just to prove my point, I don't play that shit."
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"Can I help you?"
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"Good afternoon, welcome to "Popcopy","
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"Or..."
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"(man) What's wrong?"
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"My butt is itchin' like crazy, and I took a shower."
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"Can I help you?"
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"If a customer has a computer disk,"
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"then look at it and tell them it's the wrong format."
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"And if they got both, then tell them we use Linux."
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"And if they got that, tell them the computers are down."
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"They should be, anyhow."
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"You see, the whole system actually went down."
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"It happens."
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"But this is a big place, how can..."
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"then tell them, "guess what?"
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"I am the manager.""
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"I wanna see the manager."
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"You are the manager?"
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"That's right, my friend."
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"I'm the only manager here."
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"and I don't know him, you might could help me out with that."
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"I mean, really get in their face about it."
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"I wanna see your manager!"
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"Guess what, nigga?"
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"You're the manager?!"
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"You done, that's it."
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"Your job is done, nigga, get out!"
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"I'll see you later..."
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"What are you talking about?!"
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"Y'know, a lot of people ask, "why?""
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""Why treat the customer this way?""
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"Why?"
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"Bathroom upkeep is important to us here at "Popcopy"."
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"Be sure to spray chocolate sauce on the wall near the toilet"
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"to give the appearance of errant feces."
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"will never, ever return to one of our stores."
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"We ask that you sign a sheet to verify this gets done"
Chappelle's Show
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