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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.1 (S01E01)

"Chappelle's Show."
Chappelle's Show
"(techno music)"
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"Dave"
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"(hip-hop music)"
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"Now, that is what I call dancin'!"
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"Oh, snap, there she go right there!"
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"Ugh!"
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"Yes."
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"Oh, man, no."
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"When I say this is my show, this is my show."
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"Here, show that last Mitsubishi clip real quick."
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"Oh!"
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"Play it again, play it again!"
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"I was like, "come on, titty, come on, titty!""
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"Y'all ready, some sketch comedy,"
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"that means you've just been hired to work here"
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"You guys ready?"
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"(chuckles)"
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"and make them feel unwanted."
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"Hell, yeah, I suck toes!"
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"can I help you?"
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"If they use Apple, tell them we're PC"
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"If they use PC, tell them we're Apple."
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"It's gonna be shut down for a couple hours."
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"Hours?"
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"The whole system?"
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"I don't believe he said that!"
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"Should a customer get all uppity and ask to speak to a manager,"
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"Unless you want to talk to the "Popcopy" president"
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"'Cause fuck 'em, that's why."
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"once an hour, 24 times a day."
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"Uh-oh, tony, you missed a spot."
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"And should you ever doubt yourself"
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"just remember this:"
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"Welcome to the "Popcopy" family, and congratulations."
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""Popcopy""
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"all right, we're gonna take a quick commercial break,"
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"It's just regular-ass TV."
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"All right, now, look, a lot of people"
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"saying that they're materialistic"
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"and they objectify women, and I don't appreciate that."
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"I'm tired of hip-hop takin' the rap."
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"I have went into the B.E.T. libraries"
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"and found footage from early in this century,"
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"of people objectifying women, and I'll show it to you tonight"
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"That's an excellent year."
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"Happy Holidays, you triflin' bitch!"
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"Rub it in your breasts and on your vagina."
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"King Cole Records comin' at you."
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"Peace, you punk bitches."
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"Come back next year when I puts a little eggnog in your face."
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"All right, y'all, we'll be right back,"
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"you were afraid I was gonna end up looking like my mother."
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"Well, help has arrived."
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"Don't call me a liar."
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"I didn't say that!"
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"Janice: "what are you saying, Brian?""
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"Should I read more?"
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"I'm gonna go masturbate, Home Stenographer."
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"you can have your very own permanent record keeper,"
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"With the Home Stenographer,"
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"you'll turn any room into a courtroom."
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"Read back when that babysitter told the kids to go to bed."
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"To the boyfriend: "Drop your pants, big man.""
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"There's no way."
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"Read it back to him."
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"Oh, my god!"
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"I knew it was one of those dudes."
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"and I showed it to a black friend of mine."
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"Just roll..."
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"a man named Clayton Bigsby has been the leading voice"
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"But in an effort to bring his message to a wider audience,"
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"to "Frontline"."
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"shifty go-betweens and palpable danger."
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"Well, look no further, fella, you found him."
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"(host) How could this have happened?"
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"where Mr. Bigsby spent the first 19 years of his life."
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"Bridgett Wexler is the home's headmistress."
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"so we figured we'd make it easier on Clayton"
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"that he was white."
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"And he never questioned it?"
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"You've written four books now?"
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"They eat up all the chicken,"
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"Did I mention that before?"
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"Matter of fact, my friend Jasper told me"
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"to pick his sister up for a date."
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"Anyone have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me!""
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"You've never left this property,"
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"that you are an African-American?"
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"involved in any niggerdom, you understand?!"
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"Now, if you'll excuse me,"
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"Sir, you're a friend."
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"I'm overwhelmed by the irony."
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"We don't like your kind around here!"
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"You better get out of here 'fore something bad happens."
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"Nigger..."
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"(cheering)"
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"might wanna hide your identity."
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"I'm gonna put my hood on."
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"Here, let me get that."
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"Let's hear it!"
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"mainly nigras."
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"but we're still losing the war against Al Sharpton!"
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"with their Kung Fu"
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"I can't understand you, go back to your country."
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""Cunnilingus" Rice."
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"White power!"
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"Just open up your heart and let that hate out!"
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"Clayton, go on, brother."
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"and we can meet, talk about white brotherhood."
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"and, in many ways, to the white-power movement."
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"We're told that in the last few weeks,"
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"And three days ago,"
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"I'm Kent Wallace, good night."
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"(man) Funding for "Frontline" provided by"
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"the "Trent Lott Foundation" for peace and understanding."
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"Bye, niggers, bye-bye!"
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