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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"Sweet damn, that's a hot plate!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SHUSHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Twenty-eight. Two more until the big one. Three-O."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's Wendy the waitress. Tip her well. Thanks a lot, guys."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Check them out, they're good. They're good."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's into sports,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And she plays bass guitar like Kim Deal from the Pixies."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"was taking care of it,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Awesome! So awesome!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"God! Best girl ever."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GAGS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This is the high point of my day."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"See, Marshall had always dreamed of using his law degree"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Barney, I had some questions about filling out these requisition forms."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't have time to be creepy, dude. I have a lot of work to do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I need you to clear your schedule. Call Lily. Tell her you'll be home late."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So I'm in good hands."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There she is. Your soul mate. That'll be 500 bucks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No way. The last time I did this, the girl turned out to be engaged."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's not engaged. She's your soul mate."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just read the file."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She played bass guitar, She didThe Times crossword,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's what I thought, too. Then I got this e-mail from Butterfield."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Let's make that bastard pay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yeah, it's probably a good idea. - Let's go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; And so, one $90 cab ride later, I was in the middle of nowhere,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This was the way to find out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't want to get married."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Of course I want to get married!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I... It's not like I was ever going to do it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You must think I'm so stupid. - I don't think you're stupid."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just need to know if I can get in."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If I do this interview, and get into the program, then I'll know,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but you don't really know it's a mistake,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"the guy you left stranded by the side of the road."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Remember to pick up some milk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey, is that Ted? - Yeah. He's stuck in Dutchess County."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Don't you have a big date tonight?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Can't a brother go apple picking without getting the third degree? Damn!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yep. Gotcha! Classic! Gotta go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, check it out. This one actually looks like Butterfield."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, over at the NRDC, it's a bunch of really committed people"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Don't tell Lily, okay? - No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Too bad. I got candy. - Candy?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I like your hat. - Right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I bet it looks great!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Let's see what else. Oh, she doesn't look like a tiger, check."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EXHALES)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right, you've clearly had a rough night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but, sure, we can do hair."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't need any milk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, guys, I know milk is important."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look at the evidence."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; Kids, life is a dark road, You never really know what's up ahead,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"One night, you're cruising along, enjoying the ride,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and then all of a sudden, you're 28,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Careful. The plate is very hot. - Okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, go on, touch it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EXCLAIMS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right, so, Barney, are you doing this or what?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, jeez, Barney, don't do this. - I have to. It's my birthday present to Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't have to. Please, it's going to be embarrassing,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and we're gonna have to stop coming here, which will suck,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"in addition to probably being kind of healthy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Come on, Marshall, it's the greatest pickup line of all time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ah! Happy birthday, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WHOOPS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Excuse me, has anyone ever told you..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, my God! - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, call an ambulance!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What's going on? - Try not to speak. Here, sit down."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just don't talk. Don't talk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Is she okay? - I'm serious, call 911."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What's wrong? What's the matter?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just don't move. Don't move. Just try..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Here, have some water. Water!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Here, drink this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, the more I watch this, the less convinced I am"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that it's the greatest pickup line of all time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; Actually, my 30th birthday wasn't so bad,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, except for the goat in my bathroom, Which is a great story,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BLEATING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But I'll get to that later,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Still, you know, another year older. Still single."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't hear your Ted-o-Iogical clock ticking?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Nope. I hit the snooze button."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And here come the paramedics."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, thank God, you're here. - What is going on?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think there might be some internal bleeding."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Probably some fractures. We gotta get her to the hospital."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What are you talking about? - You've had a terrible fall."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, I haven't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Really? 'Cause I could swear you fell straight out of heaven, Angel."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Give him your number. What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Give him your number. What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Give him your... Come on, guys, you're embarrassing me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Give him your number. - Give him your number."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Give him your number. - Give him your number."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHEERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I cannot believe that she gave him her number."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Maybe she really does have a brain injury."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thank you, everyone. Thank you, everyone. It's been fun."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Troilus and Cressida, Neighborhood Playhouse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I realize why I'm still single. I'm picky. I'm not going to settle."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If I'm going to marry someone, she has to be perfect."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Well, what's perfect? - Well, it's not like I have a list."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, yes, you do. - Attractive, college-educated."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She wants two kids, a boy and a girl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- That's not hard. I know at least... - I'm not done."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She likes dogs, Otis Redding, does the crossword."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but not so much so that her legs are, like, more muscular than mine."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That weirds me out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Or Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth. - Any Kim from any cool band, really."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Can't be too picky. - You're never going to find this girl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Exactly. So I'm just going to wait for her to come to me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I am done trying to plan the unplannable."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, what, you think fate's just going to take care of it?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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