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Clips from The Simpsons - Marge Be Not Proud (S07E07)

"- No. - Don't smart off to me, smart guy."
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"I-I-I could pay for the game. I-I'll pay for it!"
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"You know, that kind of mush might fly at Lamps Plus, but don't peddle it here."
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"If I wanted smoke blown up my ass..."
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"I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose."
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"That's it, Mr. Comedian. I'm calling your parents."
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"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson?"
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"That's right, Don Brodka. Your son, Bart, has been caught shoplifting."
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"Uh-huh. Yeah, it's a shame, I know..."
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"but, well, try and have a merry Christmas."
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"They weren't home. Uh-huh."
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"But I left a message on their answering machine. That's right."
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"Um, okay. I've really, really, really learned my lesson."
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"- Can I please go now? - Yeah, get out of my sight."
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"Hey, kid."
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"you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall, capisce?"
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"- Well, do you understand? - Everything except "capeesh. ""
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"Lousy, stinking piece of crap."
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"Gotta change that answering machine tape! Oh, God, I gotta change that tape!"
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"Gotta change Maggie! Dear God, we gotta change Maggie!"
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"- Hmm. We didn't have a message when we left. How very odd."
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"Hello, Muddah. Hello, Faddah"
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"Here I am at Camp Granada"
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"Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada?"
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"Now to put this tape..."
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"where no one will ever listen to it."
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"Homer, didn't you get any milk? All I see is eggnog."
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"'Tis the season, Marge! We only get 30 sweet, noggy days."
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"Then the government takes it away again."
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"I think I'm having chest pains."
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"Bart, get your suit on."
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"- What for? - We're getting our Christmas picture taken."
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"Ah, you lucked out, Marge, my man, 'cause I'm in a smilin' mood today."
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"Well, good! So get ready, and before you know it we'll be at the Try-N-Save."
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"Try-N-Save?"
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"Ah, my teapots are ready."
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"If you ever set foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall-"
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"juvenile hall-juvenile hall."
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"Stand behind the yellow line.! You will now receive your Christmas presents..."
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"donated by the Port Authority Lost and Found Office."
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"Pass your chit to Santa to receive your gift."
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"If you do not have a chit, you will not receive a gift."
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"Cool! A book of carpet samples!"
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"Come on, new bike!"
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"Ohh. A soiled wig."
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"Merry Christmas and a happy New Year."
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"Bart, what's taking so long?"
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"Oh, no, I'm not."
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"What's the matter with your face? Is that a fake nose? Are you wearing chin putty?"
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"I don't have to listen to these wild allegations!"
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"Please, Bart, no more pranks."
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"It would mean so much to me if we could have just one nice family photo."
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"Hey! I don't remember saying that."
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"I hope you're going to the Valley Vista Try-N-Save, kid..."
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"'cause you don't want to come to my store."
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"Catfish?"
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"So, we're just gonna do this photo and get out, right? Bada bing, bada boom."
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"I want to look at the pets, and write things on the typewriters..."
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"and consult the pharmacist for some free medical advice!"
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"Sure! We're gonna have a great day! Bada bing, bada boom!"
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"Right, Bart? Bart? What's wrong, honey?"
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"Uh-oh! Somebody's got tired little legs."
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"- Hm! - Uhh!"
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"Hmm. I wonder where the flip-flops are?"
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"Menswear? Maybe it's Sporting Goods. Wait, no, Sleepwear."
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"Oh, probably Better Living."
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"Oh, Homie. Look at that watch. I've always wanted a watch like that."
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"- Well, maybe someone will give you one for Christmas."
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"Now she'll really be surprised when she opens that ironing board cover."
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"Must've been a pretty slow century."
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"The store detective!"
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"I don't want Maggie's face hidden behind that pacifier."
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"Don't worry, Mama. I can put a smile on baby's face."
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"Okay, sugar plum. It's time to meet Mr. Funny Voice."
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"Hello, I'll- Oh, it's just air."
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"Okay, people. One, two, three."
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"I thought I told you:"
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"- no returns for busted merchandise. - What are you doing to my son?"
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"I'm afraid your son broke the 11 th Commandment: Thou shalt not steal."
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"That's crazy! Bart's not a shoplifter. He's just a little boy."
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"Oh, sure. Now he's just a little boy stealing little toys."
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"But someday he'll be a grown man..."
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"stealing stadiums and- and quarries."
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"My son may not be perfect, but I know in my heart he's not a shoplifter."
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"Fine, play the tape. Then everyone can see you've got the wrong boy."
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"Wait! Mom, I don't want you to see this."
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"I did it."
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"Bart, I wouldn't have expected this even from you."
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"My son's a thief."
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"Oh, Bart."
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"Stealing! How could you?"
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"Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church?"
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"Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies?"
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"For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you?"
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"Except at that guy who made sound effects."
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"Honk, honk!"
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"Where was I? Oh, yeah. Stay out of my booze!"
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"Mom, I'm really sorry."
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"- I know you are. - Is there anything I can do?"
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"I don't know."
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"- Why don't you go to bed? - Okay."
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"Man, I thought Mom was gonna scream me stupid. She didn't even raise her voice."
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"I admit I haven't known Mom as long as you have, but I know when she's really upset."
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"Her heart won't just wipe clean like this bathroom countertop."
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"It absorbs everything that touches it like this bathroom rug."
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"- one of those forever-type things? - I don't know."
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"Lisa's on the sleepy train to rest her weary head"
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"Her ticket is a candy cane made out of gingerbread"
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"- Good night, Mom. - Good night, sweetheart."
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"Oh, great. The Tuck-in Express is right on time."
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"Good night."
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"I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded."
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"No leaving the house, not even for school."
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"Second, no eggnog. In fact, no nog period."
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"And third, absolutely no stealing for three months."
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"I always thought I understood my special little guy."
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"But somewhere along the road, his hand slipped away from mine."
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"Eh, what are you gonna do?"
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"He's not my little baby anymore."
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"Maybe I mother him too much."
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