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Clips from Family Guy - Brian Griffin's House of Payne (S08E08)

"I miss my wife. It's lonely out in spa..."
Family Guy
"Uh-oh, Rupert, we've got company."
Family Guy
"Rupert, there's a weapons-systems cooling duct on the far side of the hull."
Family Guy
"Hey, Rupert wants to go play down in the basement."
Family Guy
"- Where the hell did this come from? - What is it, Brian?"
Family Guy
"So have you read the script yet?"
Family Guy
"I'll just go ahead and place this in your hand."
Family Guy
"- What? - Brian, your script..."
Family Guy
"to find traces of it somewhere, I couldn't find a thing."
Family Guy
"but Daddy's got some connections over at CBS."
Family Guy
"My God. A TV pilot."
Family Guy
"Chris, what are you doing? Give me that."
Family Guy
"- Do you think he's okay? - I don't know."
Family Guy
"You were the one reading my diary."
Family Guy
"- What do we do? - Is he breathing?"
Family Guy
"It looks like it. That's a good sign, right?"
Family Guy
"- Yeah? - We love this pilot."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God. Ha-ha-ha."
Family Guy
"- What? - It was a joke."
Family Guy
"I just said I felt like Hitler."
Family Guy
"I had no idea. I'm sorry."
Family Guy
"Chris, I'm worried."
Family Guy
"- Stewie's still unconscious. - Maybe he's just sleeping."
Family Guy
"You could always grab the vacuum and clean up the living room floor."
Family Guy
"A sitcom about former major league pitchers Phil and Joe Niekro..."
Family Guy
"Boy, he must be starving. Ha-ha-ha."
Family Guy
"Brian, have you decided who's gonna star in your show?"
Family Guy
"going back to college so he can do right by his 4-year-old daughter."
Family Guy
"Yes. I got five seconds."
Family Guy
"Ha. No gravity."
Family Guy
"There he is."
Family Guy
"Hi. I'm Todd Goldstein, senior executive of programming here at the network."
Family Guy
"- Bing. - Ribbit."
Family Guy
"It's our job to bring that gold to the screen."
Family Guy
"Okay. Obviously, we love Elijah Wood for the part of Byron as much as you do."
Family Guy
"- Whenever you're ready. - Okay, I'll read you in, Elijah."
Family Guy
"This is where Byron's professor fails him..."
Family Guy
"for missing the chemistry midterm to take his daughter to the doctor."
Family Guy
"Maybe this is news to you, but love isn't some element on your periodic table."
Family Guy
"- What? - Oh, don't worry. He's not Byron."
Family Guy
"Somebody upstairs threw out a name, got excited..."
Family Guy
"Ha, thanks for coming in, Jimmy. You need a copy of the scene?"
Family Guy
"He's been harassing my family for years."
Family Guy
"Okay. Thanks a lot, everybody. I gotta go."
Family Guy
"Wait. You're not seriously considering him, are you? James Woods is insane."
Family Guy
"You guys aren't gonna believe this. Call a tow truck."
Family Guy
"I just banged into some homo's Prius."
Family Guy
"Well, we thought it would be a lot funnier if it was a sitcom."
Family Guy
"Oh, right. That's the other thing."
Family Guy
"Now, this is just a thought, but we're doing it. She's 18."
Family Guy
"What do you think of the ta-tas? Can we do better?"
Family Guy
"Okay? Like, taco joe here, bro. I mean, I'm just..."
Family Guy
"I don't think they're playing for the same team."
Family Guy
"to the point that they've developed space travel."
Family Guy
"So question. How long has Stewie been unconscious?"
Family Guy
"I used to knock you kids out every month or so."
Family Guy
"Sometimes by accident, sometimes when the Patriots lost."
Family Guy
"No. Why?"
Family Guy
"Hey, good evening, everyone."
Family Guy
"What is this? This isn't my script. What did you do to it?"
Family Guy
"Brian, we love this project."
Family Guy
"Hey, guys. The chimp just ripped the other girl's boob off."
Family Guy
"I wish you hadn't gone through all this trouble."
Family Guy
"Are you kidding? I'm so excited."
Family Guy
"- I could see it. - Well, yeah. I mean..."
Family Guy
"Not everyone. Someone's doing the monkey."
Family Guy
"So, uh, what did you guys think?"
Family Guy
"- Oh, ha, ha. - Time for bed, Stewie."
Family Guy
"- Come on, Joe. - Okay, come on."
Family Guy
"Oh, boy. Oh, boy."
Family Guy
"What was I gonna do? It was either do it their way or get canceled."
Family Guy
"Well, at least then you would have had your integrity."
Family Guy
"You guys wanted to see me?"
Family Guy
"Look, we're really excited about the ratings."
Family Guy
"We're just disappointed with how low they are."
Family Guy
"We did some testing this morning. We've discovered the problem."
Family Guy
"- See? That's relatable. - How the hell is that relatable?"
Family Guy
"Every month, he's got a story for why he doesn't have his half of the rent."
Family Guy
"I've had enough. I'm not selling out anymore. I quit."
Family Guy
"Because, you know, I fucked that chick and I think she's well under 18 years old."
Family Guy
"- Looks like you ran over him, Lois. - Oh, no. He's unconscious."
Family Guy
"Well, Brian, I'm proud of you."
Family Guy
"Well, I suppose you're right."
Family Guy
"Roar!"
Family Guy
"Boy, eight months on patrol and nothing."
Family Guy
"And I don't think it's the Avon lady."
Family Guy
"Those fighters had to have been coming from somewhere."
Family Guy
"we can blow that fat bastard out of the cosmos."
Family Guy
"Looks like this is a suicide mission."
Family Guy
"- Got you. Got you. - Stewie, get lost."
Family Guy
"Daddy's trying to watch the game."
Family Guy
"I've knocked out your communications systems."
Family Guy
"- Lois, Stewie's making noise. - As we speak, I'm boarding your vessel."
Family Guy
"Hey. Hey, Stewie, I'm gonna go play down in the basement. Here I go."
Family Guy
"Why, Rupert? Why do you want to play in the basement?"
Family Guy
"I feel like there might be some fun stuff down there."
Family Guy
"- Here I go. - Rupert, get back here."
Family Guy
"Rupert? Oh, there you are."
Family Guy
""What I Learned on Jefferson Street, written by H. Brian Griffin.""
Family Guy
"Oh, yes."
Family Guy
"- What's this? - What the hell?"
Family Guy
"The first thing I ever wrote. It's a script for a television show. A drama."
Family Guy
"I had an idea for a script. It's basically Jaws."
Family Guy
"So the guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws."
Family Guy
"I call it Big Jaws. Wait, that's not what your script's about, is it?"
Family Guy
"- No. - Okay, good."
Family Guy
"I haven't looked at this in years."
Family Guy
"Oh, wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah, this is all coming back to me."
Family Guy
"This is actually not too bad a piece of work."
Family Guy
"This was... It was kind of deep as I recall."
Family Guy
"You know, Lois, you might actually be interested in reading this."
Family Guy
"You should look at it."
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm sorry, Brian. I haven't gotten around to it."
Family Guy
"Why not now, you know? Just get it off your plate."
Family Guy
"Oh, gosh. You know what? I don't even know what I did with the copy..."
Family Guy
"You know what? Why don't you put check marks next to scenes you like?"
Family Guy
"You know, I'll just leave it for you right here."
Family Guy
""Oh, where's that crazy pen?" Well, there it is. It's in your hand."
Family Guy
"Brian, I'm not gonna read this with you standing here."
Family Guy
"Go for a ride in the car?"
Family Guy
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