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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer Simpson in: 'Kidney Trouble' (S10E10)

"##"
The Simpsons
"D'oh!"
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"Uh-oh. Tape must've fallen off."
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"There. Problem solved."
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"##"
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"This should be very educational."
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"and serviced by prostitute express riders..."
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"Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known..."
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"as a place where a trail hand could spend a month's pay in three minutes."
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"I never realized history was so filthy."
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"Then we'll visit the cathouse, the brothel, the bordello..."
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"and finally the old mission."
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"- Oh, thank heaven! - Lots of prostitutes in there."
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"A lot more. If you look off to your left..."
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"Well, no, you don't."
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"But if you have any interest in history-"
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"First of all, I'm not a robot."
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"Whoo! Hello, sweet cheeks!"
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"Did you get it in the souvenir shop?"
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"Some varmints are havin' a shootout."
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"Yee-haw!"
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"There's Old Curly."
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"##"
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"Tonight it's F. Murray Abraham."
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"Can't stop now. We're making great time."
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"Wow. Get a load of that toilet."
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"Yeah, that's what happens when you get older."
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"It's one of those natural things. Beautiful in its way."
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"Which would explain those loud pops you heard."
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"How long do I have to live, Doc?"
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"We all blame you."
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"Come on, Doc. There's gotta be something I can do to help my dad."
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"What is it about the word ''sure'' you don't understand?"
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"I rented all your favorite gorilla movies."
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"Oh, yeah. Even if you survive the operation-"
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"Can I have your buttocks? I mean, if you die. They look pretty comfortable."
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"What if instead of donating one of my old, worn-out kidneys..."
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"Oh, Homer, that was just a beer can with a whistle glued to it."
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"Oh, but I don't want them cutting up my soft, supple body."
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"This is everybody's fault but mine."
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"The man who raised you and nurtured you."
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"But if I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?"
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"Doc Martens to Podiatry."
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"I don't usually sign stuff like that."
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"if you die as a result of gross negligence."
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"And-What the-"
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"Even I wouldn't do that. And I'm America's bad boy."
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"Krusty here to cheer you up..."
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"##"
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"If you don't have a captain, I could be that."
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"Welcome aboard the ship of..."
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"Do we even exist? Who knows?"
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"Hey, let me off this thing."
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"Oh, don't listen to him. We exist all right."
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"but I chickened out at the last minute and left him on his deathbed."
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"All right. This is it. No more living in shame."
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"I'm going to show my family the kind of man I really am."
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"All right. I'm gonna-"
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"Shelbyville Hospital!"
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"No,you're not, Dad."
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"- Homer! - Dad!"
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"The way I behaved was shameful. I guess fear made me run away."
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"But love made me come back."
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"Bless you, Son."
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"When I get better..."
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"It's a miracle! You recovered!"
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"What? What?"
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"While we were setting your broken bones and putting your blood back in..."
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"Yes. You've shortened your life significantly..."
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"This ghost town is gonna be great!"
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"''Now with 30% more gunfights.''"
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"And 40% more rootin'-tootin'."
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"And the tumbleweeds tumble at 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00..."
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"plus a midnight tumbling on weekends."
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"It's so sweet of you to take us out like this, Homie."
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"Come on, kids. Three cheers for your father."
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"- Hip, hip- - Mom, don't."
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"- Hip, hip- - We heard you the first time."
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"- Hip, hip- - Hey, I'm trying to drive here."
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"Hey, Dad, that light says ''check engine.''"
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"Relax. She just needs a little lovin'."
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"Ah, they remembered my birthday."
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"Start!"
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"Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?"
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"Founded by prostitutes in 1 849..."
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"who could bring in a fresh prostitute from St.Joe in three days..."
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"Three minutes!"
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"First on our tour is the whorehouse."
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"But there was more to the Old West than just sex, folks."
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"you'll see a real Old West hitchin' post..."
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"possibly used by bandits, possibly during some exciting adventure."
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"And these planks below us were often used as a sidewalk..."
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"by people who may or may not have been bandits."
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"That's a keeper."
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"- Uh, yes, sir? - Do we have to listen to you?"
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"I'm done."
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"Wow.! Have you ever seen so many robot cowboys?"
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"Hey, robot, get your fat metal ass down here!"
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"And second, I got this metal ass in 'Nam..."
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"defending this country for lazy jerks like you."
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"Now what'll you have, partner?"
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"Let's see. One, two, three- Six whiskeys."
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"- All right! - We only serve sarsaparilla, mac. No alcohol."
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"You can get drunk when we get home."
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"Duh."
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"Hey, these cards are marked."
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"What the heck is this? A tea party?"
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"Somebody kill somebody!"
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"##"
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"Look who's a little cowgirl."
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"No, that security guard is handing 'em out."
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"Uh-oh. Better run for cover, partners."
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"- You stole my prostitute! - Missed me!"
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"Die, yellow belly!"
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"He played the town preacher until we laid him off."
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"Homer!"
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"But it's funny, Marge. The guy's sick."
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"Uh, shouldn't we help him?"
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"Ahh. Can't get a good sarsaparilla like this back in Springfield."
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"It ''angries'' up the blood."
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