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Clips from Family Guy - Welcome Back Carter (S09E09)

"Come on, it's been fifty years since I've been on a date."
Family Guy
"Well, how'd you get that chick on the boat, then?"
Family Guy
"You know how in that movie"
Family Guy
"- Liam Neeson gets his daughter back? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"Well, that was one of the girls their dad didn't get back."
Family Guy
"What kind of joint is this?"
Family Guy
"Where's the cigarette girl?"
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't know about this."
Family Guy
"I have no idea what women are like nowadays."
Family Guy
"Last time I was on the dating scene,"
Family Guy
"Joe McCarthy was on a rampage looking for anything red."
Family Guy
"Oh, back then I called my penis Joe McCarthy."
Family Guy
"Look, relax, will ya?"
Family Guy
"Here, I got these off a web site"
Family Guy
"that tells you good things to say when hot women walk by."
Family Guy
"Ooh, here comes a hot one."
Family Guy
"Say the first thing on the list."
Family Guy
"Um, I... I love getting trendy cupcakes"
Family Guy
"in the middle of the day for no reason."
Family Guy
"No way. So do I."
Family Guy
"Hi. I'm Paula."
Family Guy
"Carter. How do you do?"
Family Guy
"Hey, why don't you and your friend"
Family Guy
"come join us over at our table?"
Family Guy
"Peter Griffin. How do you do?"
Family Guy
"We would... We would love to."
Family Guy
"Hey, girls, these are my two new friends."
Family Guy
"Hello, ladies. My name is Carter,"
Family Guy
"and I require a tremendous amount of calcium."
Family Guy
"Carter, come here."
Family Guy
"Sit next to me."
Family Guy
"We're having fun."
Family Guy
"Hey, what do you say we get some drinks?"
Family Guy
"Hey, boy, boy,"
Family Guy
"fetch me a John Barrymore and soda"
Family Guy
"Excuse me?"
Family Guy
"What the hell is your problem, you jerk?"
Family Guy
"Come on, girls, let's ditch this racist dick."
Family Guy
"What happened? Did we get laid?"
Family Guy
"You jackass. Those women were coming on to you"
Family Guy
"and you blew it."
Family Guy
"Now we got to go to another club and start all over again."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't want to go to another club."
Family Guy
"I don't want women like that."
Family Guy
"I... I want Babs."
Family Guy
"Babs?"
Family Guy
"You got a room full of chicks like that"
Family Guy
"and you're thinking about Babs?"
Family Guy
"She looks like someone farted in a shoe."
Family Guy
"I had a moment of weakness, but I... I know now that I was wrong."
Family Guy
"I need her, Peter."
Family Guy
"I love her."
Family Guy
"You... You got to help me get her back."
Family Guy
"Well, it's probably the right move anyway."
Family Guy
"Those girls seemed kind of annoying."
Family Guy
"Look at them over there taking a group picture together."
Family Guy
"I love you!"
Family Guy
"I love you!"
Family Guy
"We're all such good friends!"
Family Guy
"You can tell by the way we're pressing our faces together."
Family Guy
"And that's where fat girls come from."
Family Guy
"All right, if I've learned anything from romantic comedies"
Family Guy
"it's that the ex-wife always falls in love with her husband again"
Family Guy
"after he befriends a little kid."
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"And the kid needs to be really cute."
Family Guy
"So I ordered Jonathan Lipnicki."
Family Guy
"Hang on."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! What happened to you!"
Family Guy
"Oh! Oh! We... We got to get you to the hospital!"
Family Guy
"Aah! Aah! You're hideous!"
Family Guy
"Who did this to you?!"
Family Guy
"Peter, what about Babs?"
Family Guy
"Forget about yourself for a second, Carter."
Family Guy
"Look what has happened to Jonathan Lipnicki."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah."
Family Guy
"No, you're... You're... You're right."
Family Guy
"You should probably take care of that."
Family Guy
"I'll... I'll... I'll be... I'll be here."
Family Guy
"All right, look, Carter,"
Family Guy
"I think this will definitely work."
Family Guy
"Now as soon as she sees you,"
Family Guy
"you've got to do exactly what I..."
Family Guy
"Hey, whose Duesenberg is that parked in the driveway?"
Family Guy
"There's only one man I know who drives a Duesenberg."
Family Guy
"♪ And I will buy you laudanum and rhubarb cakes ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ to balance out your fragile body's humors. ♪"
Family Guy
"Oh, Babs, I don't wish to overwhelm you"
Family Guy
"with my passions, but I must say this."
Family Guy
"I'm ever so content."
Family Guy
"Oh, I am too, Rodginald."
Family Guy
"if we should marry, that I could sit beside you?"
Family Guy
"Yes, I think that would be fine."
Family Guy
"Get away from my wife, you rascal!"
Family Guy
"Oh, such language in the presence of a lady."
Family Guy
"If it's a row you want, I will cleave you in twixt!"
Family Guy
"Hang... Hang on, Carter, I think I know how to take this guy down."
Family Guy
"Penis."
Family Guy
"Carter, get out of here this instant!"
Family Guy
"I don't ever want to see you again."
Family Guy
"Pussycup, please."
Family Guy
"Mrs. Pewterschmidt, Carter has something important to say to you."
Family Guy
"I'll set the mood."
Family Guy
"♪ B-B-Bird, bird, bird ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ B-Bird's the word. ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ B-B-Bird, bird, bird, ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ B-Bird's the word. ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Well, uh, don't you know about the bird? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word. ♪"
Family Guy
"Uh, Peter, I kind of want to do this on my own."
Family Guy
"Babs, I need you."
Family Guy
"Cheating on you was the worst mistake of my life."
Family Guy
"I kneel before you a frightened soul and a broken man."
Family Guy
"A man who has nothing without you."
Family Guy
"Give me one more chance,"
Family Guy
"and I pledge to place above you nothing... Not even myself..."
Family Guy
"For all my time here, and for time forever."
Family Guy
"Carter, what you did was unforgivable."
Family Guy
"And as beautiful as your words are,"
Family Guy
"I know I can't do it overnight,"
Family Guy
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