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Clips from American Dad! - Chimdale (S04E04)

"- [All Laughing] - [Boy] Freak!"
American Dad!
"Roger, why is your bag so light?"
American Dad!
"The radio station only gave me two passes."
American Dad!
"- Then why did you invite both of us? - Gee, I don't know, Hayley."
American Dad!
"You think it might have something to do with me being drunk all the time?"
American Dad!
"But I will. I promise."
American Dad!
"Are these balloons full ofheroin?"
American Dad!
"Just the two of us."
American Dad!
"Right! Our two radio contest winners."
American Dad!
"And what if I gave you $1,800 and five cents?"
American Dad!
"Why, I'd give you a nickel back!"
American Dad!
"I told you we'd be fine."
American Dad!
"H-He'll understand when he sees what I've endured."
American Dad!
"- [Whirring] - Dad, I know it's only what's on the inside that matters..."
American Dad!
"but I'm just not as strong as- [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"[Gasps]"
American Dad!
"- You're bald? - Um, um-"
American Dad!
"There-There's a kid on the football team with cancer..."
American Dad!
"so the whole defensive line shaved our heads in solidarity."
American Dad!
"- What? - Yeah. That was just nonsense. I'm bald."
American Dad!
"I can't believe it! How long have you been hiding this?"
American Dad!
"Well, it all started in high school."
American Dad!
"[Groans]"
American Dad!
"When it came time for college, I saw an opportunity..."
American Dad!
"to reinvent myself and give myself a second chance for a happy life."
American Dad!
"So I decided to be the guinea pig for a new acne drug."
American Dad!
"My first day of college was the best day of my life."
American Dad!
"Well, yes. How did you know?"
American Dad!
"It would have been nice if you let me finish."
American Dad!
"- Go ahead. - I will."
American Dad!
"You know what? Forget it. Story's over."
American Dad!
"Dad, l-I don't understand. Why do you wear a wig?"
American Dad!
"Because the hair gave me confidence."
American Dad!
"And I was able to parlay that confidence..."
American Dad!
"into meeting your mother, starting a family and getting a job at the C.I.A."
American Dad!
"- Wait. Mom doesn't even know? - Of course not. No one does."
American Dad!
"Especially not your mother. She'd lose all interest in me."
American Dad!
"She loves my hair, Steve. She tells me every time we're b-b-bangin'."
American Dad!
"Oh, gross! Dad, you said the only thing that matters is what's on the inside."
American Dad!
"Oh, grow up. The outside's the only thing that matters."
American Dad!
"that smart fat girl I used to have all those deep conversations with."
American Dad!
"You're such a hypocrite."
American Dad!
"But I'm really nervous. What if they catch us?"
American Dad!
"trying on Hayley's clothes and laughing at himself in the mirror."
American Dad!
"I guess we could take turns."
American Dad!
"- [Francine] Shh! Be quiet! Quiet, quiet. - [Roger Whispering]"
American Dad!
"I'm Mrs. Mustachios."
American Dad!
"That's quite a lot of food for just the two of you."
American Dad!
"Hmm. It's still warm."
American Dad!
"So, you're married."
American Dad!
"- We sure are! - Yes! - That's sweet. Kiss."
American Dad!
"So, kiss."
American Dad!
"[Whispers] It's okay. We'll leave our underwear on."
American Dad!
"[Grunts] Honey, not in front of the detective."
American Dad!
"All right."
American Dad!
"Everything checks out here."
American Dad!
"For now."
American Dad!
"- Hey, buddy. - What do you want?"
American Dad!
"Look. I know you're a little miffed with your old man..."
American Dad!
"but I got something that's gonna make everything all right- stickers!"
American Dad!
"Look what we got here. Dora the Explorer. A puffy unicorn."
American Dad!
"And hey. Looks like you're a Chiquita banana."
American Dad!
"- Dad, stop. - I also got you a rearview mirror."
American Dad!
"Hello. Trying to pass on the left."
American Dad!
"Dad, just leave me alone."
American Dad!
"- Steve, come on. - You know..."
American Dad!
"but I did learn something:"
American Dad!
"Where I got my weak backbone from."
American Dad!
"That's fine. I just thought you might want to..."
American Dad!
"say good-bye to your old man before he goes to work."
American Dad!
"You're going to work, bald?"
American Dad!
"Really? You'd do this for me?"
American Dad!
"Hey. We're gonna go out there and face the world as we are."
American Dad!
"You know, I think people might just surprise us."
American Dad!
"[Sobbing]"
American Dad!
"It was so awful! They called me everything."
American Dad!
"- There, there. It's okay. - It was relentless."
American Dad!
"in the intelligence community can be very mean!"
American Dad!
"[Sniffs] The secretary of energy did that. So how was your day?"
American Dad!
"Well, this sophomore girl got killed in a drunk driving accident..."
American Dad!
"Well, you're lucky. Work was awful."
American Dad!
"But it doesn't even matter, 'cause I'm not going back. I'm never going back!"
American Dad!
"Dad, the worst part's over."
American Dad!
"There's nothing they can do to you that hasn't already been done."
American Dad!
"For supper, will you make me Mickey Mouse pancakes?"
American Dad!
"Wow. The devil invented stress, but God struck back with the sandalwood foot scrub."
American Dad!
"What-What are you doing?"
American Dad!
"We're leaving. We're sick of having to share just one wristband."
American Dad!
"But what if that detective sees you with someone other than me?"
American Dad!
"It'll cost you 1,800 bucks. Oh, look. They brought my daily turkey."
American Dad!
"He's right. How are we gonna get past Turlington?"
American Dad!
"Thanks just the same."
American Dad!
"Turlington, six more cans of pistachios have gone missing."
American Dad!
"Too many people have a key to the pistachio closet."
American Dad!
"Sorry, Mr. Chimdale."
American Dad!
"Proud and majestic, like my father..."
American Dad!
"[Gulps]"
American Dad!
"I will now attempt to poop out these blocks."
American Dad!
"- Steve? - I saw you in the wind tunnel."
American Dad!
"This whole week I've been getting my ass kicked..."
American Dad!
"because you said we were in this together."
American Dad!
"I will not take it easy! And you know who else won't take it easy?"
American Dad!
"Mom-when I tell her you're bald!"
American Dad!
"[Chuckles] You poor, naive, crooked-backed S.O.B."
American Dad!
"Who's your mother gonna believe? Her faithful husband or the son she didn't want?"
American Dad!
"She- She didn't want me?"
American Dad!
"No, she did. But you believed me just now..."
American Dad!
"and when I tell your mother you're lying, she'll believe me too."
American Dad!
"I can be very convincing."
American Dad!
""Oh, Steve! The secretary of energy drew a bowling ball on my head. Oh, no! Boo-hoo!""
American Dad!
"- You're a monster! - And you're in over your head."
American Dad!
"I don't think so, Dad, 'cause I've got something you don't."
American Dad!
"- Your hair. - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"You know, Steve, I don't say it often enough, but..."
American Dad!
"- I love you. - And the Oscar goes to someone else!"
American Dad!
"[Whimpers]"
American Dad!
"[Grumbles]"
American Dad!
"and the rest are down in my wig cellar."
American Dad!
"Do you have any men's wigs?"
American Dad!
"Well, I got a David Spade/Ellen DeGeneres. I don't know if it's clean."
American Dad!
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