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Clips from American Dad! - Chimdale (S04E04)

"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"#And he's shining a salute to the American race #"
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. # [Grunts]"
American Dad!
"Hey, Steve. Is that Irish Spring? Smells great."
American Dad!
"[Sighs]"
American Dad!
"- Ew. Look at Steve Smith. - Is it supposed to be curved like that?"
American Dad!
"[All Gasp]"
American Dad!
"- It's not curved, is it, fellas? - All right. First, I'm not looking down."
American Dad!
"Behind your creepy, deformed back."
American Dad!
"Is it like one of those belts weight lifters wear at the Olympics..."
American Dad!
"when I've just learned that my son has a horrible deformity?"
American Dad!
"I mean, it's not like it's my fault."
American Dad!
"I know. I'll just insert a catheter."
American Dad!
"- [Grunting] - [Sighs]"
American Dad!
"Just look at little Helen Keller. Deaf, dumb and blind..."
American Dad!
"She doesn't sound so dumb to me."
American Dad!
"I'm finally part of the group. Don't ruin this for me."
American Dad!
"Oh, I am so looking forward to this week."
American Dad!
"- Because you're not in it yet. - You want me to get in your suitcase?"
American Dad!
"Yeah. That's how we're gonna sneak you by the front desk."
American Dad!
"- Roger! - Are you kidding me?"
American Dad!
"I'm an alcoholic. I have a problem. I'm just not ready to deal with it yet."
American Dad!
"No more empty promises. No, sir. Not from this alcoholic."
American Dad!
"- Hi. Mr. Mustachios. - And Mrs. Mustachios."
American Dad!
"- Who's the big Nickelback fan? - Guilty!"
American Dad!
"Stupid, mean kids with their beautiful, straight spines."
American Dad!
"Oh. Dad's home."
American Dad!
"It all started in high school."
American Dad!
"[Laughing]"
American Dad!
"I had horrific acne and was ridiculed mercilessly for it."
American Dad!
"My second day was the worst."
American Dad!
"Well, you're telling a story about how you went bald."
American Dad!
"They won't catch us. Look. We have two wristbands."
American Dad!
"So, two of us can be at the spa, while the third one stays up here..."
American Dad!
"Of course. It'll be easy. Now get over here and help me finish this."
American Dad!
"Don't Portuguese out on me."
American Dad!
"- [Together] Huh? - I'm told it's not uncommon for married persons to kiss."
American Dad!
"- I know it's safe, because I see that you see me. - Knock if off already."
American Dad!
"Whoa! Warning. Driver has P.M.S."
American Dad!
"Turns out a lot of high-level neoconservative Republicans..."
American Dad!
"and we spent the afternoon sharing our thoughts about her."
American Dad!
"Took the focus right off my brace, so, yeah, it was a pretty good day."
American Dad!
"- I guess. - Look, Dad. I trusted you."
American Dad!
"Now it's time for you to trust me."
American Dad!
"I will make you Mickey Mouse pancakes."
American Dad!
"Yeah. All this sneaking around is not relaxing at all."
American Dad!
"Mmm. Delicious."
American Dad!
"- Let me help you with your bag. - No."
American Dad!
"L-I don't need your help. I mean, I decided to stay."
American Dad!
"Mm-hmm. That's what you said four weeks ago."
American Dad!
"- Is that a bird balloon? - It's an eagle, Lorraine. A bald eagle."
American Dad!
"who I think could use a little cheering up today."
American Dad!
"[Elevator Bell Dings]"
American Dad!
"[Wind Blowing]"
American Dad!
"He's wearing his hair. He lied to me."
American Dad!
"Son. Son. Now-Now take it easy."
American Dad!
"- You wouldn't dare. - I'm on my way to Chimdale right now."
American Dad!
"Damn it, Steve! When I find you, I'll kill you!"
American Dad!
"- Roger, where do you keep your wigs? - Why should I tell you?"
American Dad!
"Oh, finally. Thank you. Some of them are on tour with Angela Lansbury..."
American Dad!
"Hey, look. It's Owen Wilson."
American Dad!
"I just want you to know I'm here for you and- [Shouts]"
American Dad!
"Think I'll join you."
American Dad!
"- [Gasps] - Oh. Found it."
American Dad!
"- [Gasps] - Roger, she's suffocating."
American Dad!
"I guess I misjudged you folks."
American Dad!
"- No. - There's three of you."
American Dad!
"Fine. You got us. We're busted."
American Dad!
"Well done, Ron. I knew I had to devise the most difficult case in spa history..."
American Dad!
"Oh, honey. You tire me."
American Dad!
"- How are you getting to Chimdale? - That's for me to know and you to find out."
American Dad!
"- Official C.I.A. Business. - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Oh, yes. Hello, good sir."
American Dad!
"You don't have time for the best barbecue ribs in the state?"
American Dad!
"Whoa, whoa. Are we talking 'cue right now?"
American Dad!
"Your mama sounds like a messed-up bitch."
American Dad!
"Not even... my hair."
American Dad!
"Damn, Steve."
American Dad!
"L-I can't believe you knew."
American Dad!
"And I'm gonna be a better man in your eyes for it."
American Dad!
"English - US - SDH"
American Dad!
"# Oh, boy, it's swell to say #"
American Dad!
"[Chorus] #Good morning, U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"- Super-foresty. - Thanks."
American Dad!
"[Speaking Japanese]"
American Dad!
"[Panting] Well, what are they talking about?"
American Dad!
"And second, they're talking about your spine."
American Dad!
"- You've got scoliosis. - What? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
American Dad!
"I tried. I keep dropping hints."
American Dad!
"I even started calling you Stevey-osis."
American Dad!
"- Not to my face. - No. Behind your back."
American Dad!
"Yep. There it is. Pretty as a picture. Scoliosis."
American Dad!
"- What do we do? Amputate? - Actually, all he needs is a back support."
American Dad!
"Oh, that doesn't sound so bad."
American Dad!
"so they don't blow out their rectums?"
American Dad!
"- Not exactly. - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Pretty great, huh? I call her the Chick Magnet."
American Dad!
"Ironically, of course. [Laughs] No- No girl wants any of that."
American Dad!
"All right. We're all packed. You ready to go, Francine?"
American Dad!
"How can I spend a week at a spa..."
American Dad!
"Mom, I don't think it's a horrible deformity."
American Dad!
"Oh. So sweet. Trying to make me feel better."
American Dad!
"Mom, we have to go. How often does Roger win free passes to a first-class spa?"
American Dad!
"Well, that's not how it sounded."
American Dad!
"Y-You have a way about you, Hayley, that just- [Groans] turns me off."
American Dad!
"- Mom, it's fine. Just go. - Well, okay."
American Dad!
"Your father was the one who threw footballs at my stomach..."
American Dad!
"when I was pregnant so you'd be good at sports."
American Dad!
"Instead it just made you a cripple."
American Dad!
"Dad, there's no way I'm wearing-"
American Dad!
"And look. We can hang your allergy pills here, your asthma inhaler there and-"
American Dad!
"Wait. How are you gonna go to the bathroom?"
American Dad!
"Rise and shi-"
American Dad!
"- Steve, what are you doing? - I wanted a glass of water."
American Dad!
"I've been down here since midnight."
American Dad!
"There we go. Now let's get you ready for school."
American Dad!
"No way. It's social suicide. I'm not going."
American Dad!
"- It's what's on the inside. No one cares how you look. - Come on, Dad."
American Dad!
"and she wrote that whole diary in her attic during World War II."
American Dad!
"Different!"
American Dad!
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