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Clips from Family Guy - Holy Crap (S02E02)

""laugh 'n' cry"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy""
Family Guy
"I'm afraid you only have six months to live."
Family Guy
"Is he the one that smells like firewood and has big gray pussywillows in his ears?"
Family Guy
"Tomorrow we'll all go to a big dinner to honor him."
Family Guy
"He's been that way since I was a kid."
Family Guy
"Where we hug and the music goes..."
Family Guy
"I don't want to tattle."
Family Guy
"Mom, I can't eat. I'm too grossed out by Grandpa's ears."
Family Guy
"But seriously, tonight we here at Pawtucket Mill celebrate..."
Family Guy
"...who forced a hard-working old man to retire."
Family Guy
"Hit me, you five-card stud."
Family Guy
"Francis, this must be embarrassing for you."
Family Guy
"I'm in the car."
Family Guy
"Now that you're retired, you're coming to stay with us."
Family Guy
""...where their flesh burned in agony forever and ever.""
Family Guy
"The end."
Family Guy
"A pestilence here and a plague there. Omnipotence!"
Family Guy
"Don't do it again!"
Family Guy
"It'll be easy for him to take your hand when God strikes your heart with leprosy."
Family Guy
"Yeah, not a bad way to kick off your retirement, huh, Dad?"
Family Guy
"I can still take orders!"
Family Guy
"Oh, hey! Hey, look! Hey, Dad!"
Family Guy
"He just left without saying anything? Where would he go?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. I asked him to buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks."
Family Guy
"Tom, the city of Boston is examining its conscience tonight..."
Family Guy
"They could've just as easily gone with "rooster.""
Family Guy
"He's probably out enjoying himself."
Family Guy
"Dad, my God, are you okay?"
Family Guy
"We found him working on a kick press."
Family Guy
"I'll tell you what's dead. Vaudeville. You know what killed it? Talkie pictures."
Family Guy
"I, for one, am a tumbler. Here, watch my round-off."
Family Guy
"I don't get it, Lois. Baseball's always been the secret to male bonding."
Family Guy
"It even worked for Rosie O'Donnell and his father in A League of Their Own."
Family Guy
"We can start our own father-son business."
Family Guy
"What are you doing with all them bathtubs, you heathen dummy?"
Family Guy
"That's my boy. At least, that's what your mama always told me."
Family Guy
"Now give me a hug before I give you a knuckle sandwich."
Family Guy
"Now give me a hug before I give you a knuckle sandwich."
Family Guy
"...and stick a tiny pack of smokes in his torn denim jacket."
Family Guy
"Hey, Mr. Weed?"
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah. But he's in great shape. Except his prostate."
Family Guy
"I'll tell you how it's possible."
Family Guy
"Because this man always put his job before everything else."
Family Guy
"Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two-by-fours."
Family Guy
"Are you all right? Where's your father?"
Family Guy
"A chapel? Where will you all eat lunch?"
Family Guy
"Bestiality is a sin."
Family Guy
"Your dad stinks."
Family Guy
"How am I supposed to compete with that?"
Family Guy
"This'll be for my fourth birdie. Looks like someone's in the zone."
Family Guy
"Back to work, all of you! What's going on here?"
Family Guy
"That's Satan talking! You're a failure as a worker and as a father!"
Family Guy
"You're fired!"
Family Guy
"If he needs to talk..."
Family Guy
"Have a glorious day."
Family Guy
"How can you just sit there and let him talk like that?"
Family Guy
"He's right, Lois. I am no good."
Family Guy
"...so I ripped her in half like a phone book."
Family Guy
"He's so deliciously evil."
Family Guy
"What? Have you all taken a vow of silence?"
Family Guy
"Why? Why?"
Family Guy
"Hey, I just got another crazy idea!"
Family Guy
"...with a family crisis only His Holiness can resolve."
Family Guy
"Dust him!"
Family Guy
"It's good you missed me. I'm to drive the Popemobile."
Family Guy
"Taking it off here, Boss."
Family Guy
"- Take it off there, Luke. - Wiping it off, Boss."
Family Guy
"Lois, put the coffee on."
Family Guy
"Careful. I just cleaned the floor."
Family Guy
"Come on. What about the time I was on that airplane?"
Family Guy
"Peter, you've raised a fine family."
Family Guy
"He'd have to believe you. You're God's go-to guy."
Family Guy
"I have great kids. That's not what Grandpa says."
Family Guy
"And Chris, what you do in the bathroom is between you and God."
Family Guy
"And if you're sorry, he'll forgive you."
Family Guy
"Scarecrow, you've had brains all along."
Family Guy
"And Kristy McNichol, come back to television. We miss you."
Family Guy
"Slothful sinners! You're here to work, not sit around with your..."
Family Guy
"Rise, my son."
Family Guy
"Even a tambourine-shaking Baptist could tell this boy's no good!"
Family Guy
"Are you calling me a liar?"
Family Guy
"Peter, how could you say such a thing?"
Family Guy
"Jeez, that's a terrible thing to say. I guess I am going to Hell."
Family Guy
"...laugh at Jewish comedians, and yes, sleep with my Protestant wife."
Family Guy
"All right, get back!"
Family Guy
"Quick, everyone! Into the pod!"
Family Guy
""But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""on which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you"
Family Guy
"Mrs. Lipstein, I have bad news. The tumor is malignant."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Got milk?"
Family Guy
"Listen up, everybody. Your Grandpa Griffin is finally retiring."
Family Guy
"Grandpa Griffin?"
Family Guy
"Chris, that's a terrible word. "Pussywillows.""
Family Guy
"My dad worked at that mill for 60 years. That's almost 80 years."
Family Guy
"Why? We barely know him."
Family Guy
"Yeah. How come he never visits us?"
Family Guy
"Kids, your grandfather has never been comfortable with the fact..."
Family Guy
"Dad loves all of us. He's just too busy working to show it."
Family Guy
"And now the winners of the father-son three-legged race."
Family Guy
"First place, Bobby Hammill and his dad. Second place, Jimmy Lawson and his dad."
Family Guy
"I want us to have one of those father-son moments, like on TV."
Family Guy
"Kids, your grandfather's ears are not gross."
Family Guy
"And they are certainly not an enchanted forest."
Family Guy
"...the career of our oldest and most dedicated employee, Francis Griffin."
Family Guy
"At mass this morning..."
Family Guy
"...it occurred to me that I may never see any of your faces again."
Family Guy
"I just want to say that Jesus loves you."
Family Guy
"But in my eyes, you're a bunch of sinners and slackers..."
Family Guy
"So you can take this shiny watch and shove it."
Family Guy
"I adore this man!"
Family Guy
"Yeah. It's a shame Grandma wasn't there to hear it."
Family Guy
"Cocktail!"
Family Guy
"Aye, she's a rose."
Family Guy
"It's a pity you couldn't find yourself a nice Irish Catholic girl, Peter."
Family Guy
"No more excuses. I'm putting my foot down."
Family Guy
"Brian, buckle up. What do you say, Dad?"
Family Guy
"Of course not. It'll be fun."
Family Guy
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