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Clips from Family Guy - Saving Private Brian (S05E05)

"Now please take your seats for the following presentation by the U.S. Army."
Family Guy
"The army sounds awesome!"
Family Guy
"I could get the clap from a 12-year-old Chinese prostitute."
Family Guy
"I like to yell at mice with my shirt off."
Family Guy
"Chris, you can't join the army, you're too young."
Family Guy
"Are you kidding, Lois? The army's great!"
Family Guy
"if you loved Everybody Loves Raymond,"
Family Guy
"Don't worry, Lois, all he needs is an after-school"
Family Guy
"You know, like all of America gets distracted whenever a cute white girl dies."
Family Guy
"B-Brian, wha... what are you doing?"
Family Guy
"Gymboree is that way."
Family Guy
"I just want to swing by the army recruiting center"
Family Guy
"and give a piece of my mind to that jerk who tried to brainwash Chris."
Family Guy
"What the hell's wrong with you? Your skin's, like,"
Family Guy
"Sounds like you guys could use some fresh blood."
Family Guy
"I like reading comic books and dressing like a dude."
Family Guy
"Guys, I think we just found our new lead singer."
Family Guy
"Awesome!"
Family Guy
"Yes, you'll be about as effective as the Wizard of Oz"
Family Guy
"Yes, uh, I'd like to see the army recruiter."
Family Guy
"Say, aren't you a little young to join the army?"
Family Guy
"We're bothin... What? That's ridiculous."
Family Guy
"Over, we're comin' over"
Family Guy
"Okay, they're dead, all right?"
Family Guy
"You! Where are you from, boy?"
Family Guy
"- Quahog. - They only got two things in Quahog :"
Family Guy
"I don't see no horns on you. What does that make you, boy?"
Family Guy
"un... well, until about 9:30, 'cause that's when the dance is over!"
Family Guy
"Evil monkey holds the key"
Family Guy
"Evil, evil monkey!"
Family Guy
"Evil, evil monkey!"
Family Guy
"Quiet, young man. Can't you see we're having a poker game?"
Family Guy
"I might have a slice."
Family Guy
"Two of my favorite Broadway shows."
Family Guy
"Miss Saigon and Cabaret."
Family Guy
"Griffin! You got four legs there! You better start using them!"
Family Guy
"Four! Three! Two!"
Family Guy
"Let's say hypothetically that it does belong to someone in here."
Family Guy
"Aah! Aah! I mean, go back the way I came. I didn't take my hand off the page."
Family Guy
"You know, I'm glad Chris found an activity he likes,"
Family Guy
"- Stop touching me. - Your leg is rubbing up against mine."
Family Guy
"- Stop breathing on the window. - You idiot."
Family Guy
"That's condensation. It's on the outside."
Family Guy
"Nope. Okay. Uh, you can't leave, Brian."
Family Guy
"Evil, evil monkey! Ow!"
Family Guy
"Take five, guys."
Family Guy
"It's time for you to piss off, redhead."
Family Guy
"I am expressing myself!"
Family Guy
"- What the hell is his problem? - I don't know."
Family Guy
"Almost all of you have completed it in the allotted time."
Family Guy
"But as you know, as a unit, you either all graduate,"
Family Guy
"Dear Lord..."
Family Guy
"- Oh, that's plenty, thanks. - None for me, thanks."
Family Guy
"There's a lot of fish in the sea. It's always darkest before the dawn."
Family Guy
"Congratulations, men."
Family Guy
"I'm proud to call you soldiers."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure he means Fraggle Iraq."
Family Guy
"- Well, this isn't so bad. - Yes, the people are friendly."
Family Guy
"I say, the media has totally blown this whole thing out of proportion."
Family Guy
"Oh, okay, okay. I put on backpack, boom."
Family Guy
"Then I come back, big hero, virgins."
Family Guy
"Nobody's corrected me so far."
Family Guy
"uh, 47, Victor, Charlie, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman!"
Family Guy
"Oh, God, I envy that."
Family Guy
""I give 110 percent when it comes to helping my community,""
Family Guy
""even though I occasionally associate with some less than reputable characters.""
Family Guy
"Who does he or she think he or she is?"
Family Guy
"All right, it shouldn't be too hard to get ourselves kicked out."
Family Guy
"- Ready? - All right, let's do it."
Family Guy
"Me, too.I'm..."
Family Guy
"All right, last resort."
Family Guy
"No, no, no, they can tell by the angle."
Family Guy
"Uh, no, no, no, hang, hang on. That looks like it's painful."
Family Guy
"Of course it's painful! There's a bullet in my foot!"
Family Guy
"No, no, no, oh, come on, this is flat out just not safe!"
Family Guy
"- Let me see. - No, no, it's gross."
Family Guy
"- Let me see it. - No, no, I don't want to gross you out."
Family Guy
"Uh, we both got shot in the foot,"
Family Guy
"Amazing."
Family Guy
"Laura! Laura!"
Family Guy
"Laura!"
Family Guy
"Good thing we distracted the guard with that riddle."
Family Guy
"All right, where's your son?"
Family Guy
"I'm hiding underneath my seats for fear he'll point and show his teeth!"
Family Guy
"Listen, your parents tell me you've been acting out a little bit."
Family Guy
"And I just wanted to tell you, rock n' roll music is cool,"
Family Guy
"is with a healthy breakfast rich in breads and grains."
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"I guess I don't really know."
Family Guy
"Boy, I guess it's been a while."
Family Guy
"Here's something you might not know :"
Family Guy
"All right, kids, assembly is starting."
Family Guy
"- What's up, y'all? I'm Sergeant Extreme! - And I'm Major Awesome!"
Family Guy
"We're here to tell you how much the army kicks ass! Check this out!"
Family Guy
"And the recruiter said with any luck,"
Family Guy
"Wow, that's great."
Family Guy
"You'll be serving your country, just like American film legend Mickey Rooney."
Family Guy
"Hi. I'm former biggest star in the world, Mickey Rooney."
Family Guy
"Sometimes I like to steal other people's scabs."
Family Guy
"Mickey Rooney's Crazy Pills!"
Family Guy
"Take one with breakfast, one with lunch,"
Family Guy
"and before you know it, you'll be up on your roof; pooping in the chimney."
Family Guy
"Hold out your stockings, kids!"
Family Guy
"I am sorry, but he is not joining the army."
Family Guy
"Case closed."
Family Guy
"I can't believe they're brainwashing kids like Chris to serve in the military."
Family Guy
"- You stole that from The Onion. - What?"
Family Guy
"I read that in The Onion. About the war in Iraq."
Family Guy
"Well, if that's true, then I'd say they've got some sharp cookies over at the, uh..."
Family Guy
"I'm not gonna find a copy of The Onion, right?"
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"- Ow! Damn it! - That's what I thought."
Family Guy
"then you'll love his brother, Robert, even more, in Robert."
Family Guy
"I bet you she made a sandwich that wasn't very good, but he ate it anyway."
Family Guy
"And then she got mad at him 'cause he gave her a funny look."
Family Guy
"I miss Ray."
Family Guy
"I can't believe Chris would just buy into that army recruiter's sales pitch."
Family Guy
"We can't let him enlist."
Family Guy
"activity to get his mind off the army. Just something to distract him."
Family Guy
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