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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Gets Divorced?! (S03E03)

"and poking a son of the biggest real estate developer in New York."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What's he worth? Is his penis weird?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sorry, old habit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Girl, that's nasty!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So, Lillian, now that I have my GED, what do I do next?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't know. After high school, most white girls go to college."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I thought that was just for rich kids and only the very best clowns."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Nah, that's just fancy private colleges."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Go, Jews!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you know, a fascinating transition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I'm off to bed, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Crumpets and Cheerios,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and that's a spicy meatball, Luigi."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Stupid sea pigeon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I've fallen asleep on eggs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My roommate!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And my best friend?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's not what it looks like!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait, Titus. Why are you back?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I think I know more about cruises than you do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why are you wearing a tuxedo?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And where's your luggage?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Also, why is one of your shoes a cut-open beach ball?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why is your hair shorter?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Or is it that your head is getting bigger?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm starting to feel land-sick again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, what happened with Mahogany?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It doesn't mean you're not talented."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"it's that what I've been shouting at bus drivers"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I am a star!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What happened to Dionne Warwick?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Nothing, she's fine! I think I know more about Dionne Warwick than you do!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I had to join a Muslim gang and a white-power gang."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's sort of a Mrs. Doubtfire situation."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I told you to stop calling me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, you think I really want to be wasting my prison phone time on you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The divorce papers are in the mail."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why do we even have to go through this? There's no way that marriage was legal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't know, Italian ceilings?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But someone in the state of Indiana is taking it pretty seriously,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because apparently one of us decided to claim a marital tax credit"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and used the money to buy a Jet Ski."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"After I sign these papers, I don't want to hear"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"your fudging voice ever again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, Kimmy, I'm not your enemy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Are too! - D2!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"at summer camp on Roosevelt Island,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"scaring ghosts."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But the reason I asked you to meet me here,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in this very public place with many witnesses,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The only way I'd be Mrs. Wayne is if I'm Batman's mom,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But then he doesn't become Batman. Oh, gosh. What have I done?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, girl, nothing good ever comes in a big brown envelope."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You don't even have a car, Titus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, this is good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I sign these stupid divorce papers, and I'm done with the Reverend forever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't sign anything until you have someone with glasses look at it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I made that mistake once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's why I have to go to that Army base four weeks a year."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jeez, I just figured after two months,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you guys must be dying to... touch butts?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I do not want to talk about it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But Mikey knows you're back, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- You must have called him. - No! I did not!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause I can't see him, not yet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Why? - Because!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I made promises."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I said I would come back with $16,000 in my pocket"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Orchestra seats at a Mets performance."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mud flaps with a sexy man on them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait. This whole time you didn't get paid?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Technically, I did."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in the Bermuda Triangle."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ Ma ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ Ho ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"♪ Ny ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But then I had to eat all my paychecks."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy, I'm tired of failing,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"tired of feeling like a loser."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, I've never seen you like this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know. I can barely look at myself in the mirror."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're Tubthumping!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Then you won't. We'll find you another job."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- But where? - Let me catch you up"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"on the latest in showbiz."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"TV is computers now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I saw an ad on the side of a bus for a new show"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"called Turgle, I think."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'd get to sing with celebrities,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Plus, it'd be great to have someone else work my arms for once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- That's just for puppets! - How do you know?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The downside is I'd have to pretend to like children and endorse sharing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But for Mikey, I'll do it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But do you know how to get,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why do you have to go to Africa and fight rhino poaching anyway?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Who cares how rhinos are cooked?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"When he gets back, let's go on a double date."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You, Russ, me, and someone we trick."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ugh. Get it together, Africa."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ooh, divorce papers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh-huh, from... you-know-who."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Can you just make sure he's not tricking me or anything?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Julian tried to sneak in a clause in our divorce agreement"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that said I could never remarry and had to die alone in a flea market."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So how did he dump you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did he write "it's over" on your forehead while you were asleep?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But in the mirror it was backwards, so I saw "revosti.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I got all dressed up"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But then he was gone, gone forever!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did you just get these today?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're not signing this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy, this man put you through hell..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"cheating on you or whatever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- He kidnapped me. - I said, "Or whatever.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But now he wants something from you, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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