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Clips from Seinfeld - The Maestro (S07E07)

"- What you talking about, Maestro? - My friend's a conductor."
Seinfeld
"You ever seen a balm? Didn't you read the instructions?"
Seinfeld
"No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable."
Seinfeld
"- Pull over here, driver. This is it. - Yeah, get over."
Seinfeld
"- You have a good time? - Yeah, he's very interesting."
Seinfeld
"Did you know that Mozart died while writing the Requiem?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Everyone knows that. It was in Amadeus."
Seinfeld
"Well, I did at first, but, actually, I kind of got used to it."
Seinfeld
"Okay, from now on, I want you to call me Jerry the Great."
Seinfeld
"- He is a maestro. - Well, I'm great."
Seinfeld
"So you say."
Seinfeld
"What about his house in Tuscany? He mention that?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. I'm invited."
Seinfeld
"Maybe he's embarrassed by Americans."
Seinfeld
"In all of Tuscany? I wonder."
Seinfeld
"How do we know how severe the burns are?"
Seinfeld
"This thing gets into the paper, it'll kill us."
Seinfeld
"All right, we'll start with 50,000 and free coffee at all of our stores."
Seinfeld
"Gentlemen, come in."
Seinfeld
"Now, we don't want to take up much of your time."
Seinfeld
"...at any of our stores throughout North America and Europe, plus-"
Seinfeld
"I'll take it!"
Seinfeld
"I'll take it? I'll take it? Who told you to take it?"
Seinfeld
"It's not hard to get coffee. I can get it myself."
Seinfeld
"I wanna know what came after that plus."
Seinfeld
"I didn't hear any plus."
Seinfeld
"Twenty years, I've never experienced anything like this."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna get myself a free café latte."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Maestro."
Seinfeld
"- Beethoven's 7th. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"The other day, you mentioned there were no houses in Tuscany."
Seinfeld
"- No. Not really looking. - Nor should you."
Seinfeld
"- It's booked solid. - It's booked, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- How'd you get yours? - Got lucky."
Seinfeld
"Maybe I'll check out France."
Seinfeld
"Hey, George. Hey, you believe this guy?"
Seinfeld
"I missed the Maestro?"
Seinfeld
"I wish I could figure out if this guy's trying to keep me out of Tuscany."
Seinfeld
"Of course he is. There's got to be houses for rent in Tuscany."
Seinfeld
"It's huge. It's probably like North Dakota."
Seinfeld
"You know how big North Dakota is, stupid?"
Seinfeld
"...but I think if I brought him a chair, he'd sit."
Seinfeld
"Be able to check things out. With a back or without?"
Seinfeld
"I think I'd go for the back."
Seinfeld
"- Swivel? - I suppose he could swivel."
Seinfeld
"- Maybe one of those director's chairs. - That's kind of a pompous look."
Seinfeld
"My parents had a kitchen chair that would've been perfect."
Seinfeld
"- One of those vinyl things? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"How can I figure out if there's any places to rent in Tuscany?"
Seinfeld
"What do you think about a rocking chair?"
Seinfeld
"You can't limit my café lattes. It says so right here."
Seinfeld
"And no dirty looks. If I want a café latte, you give me a café latte."
Seinfeld
"If I have any problems, I'll get my lawyer down here."
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey, slow down, Eddie. What's the matter?"
Seinfeld
"They're making faces because I've had some café lattes."
Seinfeld
"But I can have as many café lattes as I want. That was the settlement."
Seinfeld
"- I feel like I'm talking a little faster. - You're racing."
Seinfeld
"Well, I got things to do. See you later. Bye."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Bob."
Seinfeld
"Bob."
Seinfeld
"Maestro."
Seinfeld
"No. Just giving a chair to the security guard."
Seinfeld
"Did Mr. Ross tell you to do this?"
Seinfeld
"- What's your name? - Evan Fane."
Seinfeld
"I'm engaged to Mr. Ross' niece."
Seinfeld
"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know."
Seinfeld
"Innocent mistake."
Seinfeld
"Well, here you go. What do you think?"
Seinfeld
"Go ahead. Check it out."
Seinfeld
"Poppie sent me to see you, Mr. Ciccio."
Seinfeld
"So is there anything there to rent?"
Seinfeld
"Seventeen-hundred American."
Seinfeld
"...I didn't say that I wanted to rent it."
Seinfeld
"I was just wondering if there were houses there to rent."
Seinfeld
"I told you."
Seinfeld
"You were right, Maestro."
Seinfeld
"Come on, Jerry, this guy's crazy. Get out."
Seinfeld
"- How much did you pay that guy? - Seventy-five thousand lire."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, you don't understand the conversion rate."
Seinfeld
"- I don't even know why I brought you. - Nobody put a gun to your head."
Seinfeld
"We just made a fresh pot. Would you like some?"
Seinfeld
"But fresh fruit, it's available. It's there."
Seinfeld
"- Then what happened? - Well, you know..."
Seinfeld
"- Is that gonna be a problem? - Yeah, it's a problem."
Seinfeld
"It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous."
Seinfeld
"Set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer. Tell him it's for me."
Seinfeld
"There's a lot of women that would love to be in your position right now."
Seinfeld
"Maybe I'll see you in a couple of weeks."
Seinfeld
"...when he could easily be sitting."
Seinfeld
"I just came from a meeting with my lawyer."
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy. This is a surprise. Look at you."
Seinfeld
"You know you hurt the Maestro's feelings."
Seinfeld
"Hey, hey. Listen to this."
Seinfeld
"You know, I'm sorry, but..."
Seinfeld
"I suppose if they gave me one I'd sit down."
Seinfeld
"Obviously I'd rather sit, if that's what you're asking."
Seinfeld
"You haven't even been to the doctor."
Seinfeld
"Let a doctor put a balm on."
Seinfeld
"When I told him it was beautiful there, out of the clear blue sky, he says:"
Seinfeld
"Gentlemen."
Seinfeld
"We're prepared to offer you all the free coffee you want..."
Seinfeld
"- We were just talking about you. - Oh, yeah?"
Seinfeld
"- You renting a house in Tuscany? - No."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you care?"
Seinfeld
"- So you're gonna get him a chair? - Yeah. It's a question of what kind."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. Poppie's from Tuscany."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna go call him. - Yeah, good luck."
Seinfeld
"Poppie told me to talk to his cousin. He lives down in Little Italy."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you want one? They're delicious. My pleasure."
Seinfeld
"You've got to stop it. You're all hopped up on the caffeine."
Seinfeld
"Seventy-five thousand lire? Are you out of your mind?"
Seinfeld
"So my friend and I, we were going to the movies..."
Seinfeld
"Are you sensing anything right now?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - Yeah, I'm gonna be rich."
Seinfeld
"But are you telling me there's not one house to rent in all of Tuscany?"
Seinfeld
"- Why do I bother talking to you? - There's no gun to your head."
Seinfeld
"You'll be in big trouble."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"Sì, sì, Poppie."
Seinfeld
"- Too flashy? - Yeah, it's burning my retina."
Seinfeld
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