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Clips from Seinfeld - The Maestro (S07E07)

"Well, I think I take a normal sip."
Seinfeld
"Okay, you take normal sips. Nothing wrong with that."
Seinfeld
"...they don't allow outside drinks in the movie theatre..."
Seinfeld
"...so I had to put it in my shirt and sneak it in."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, see, they like to sell their own coffee."
Seinfeld
"It'll be a problem for them."
Seinfeld
"It's definitely preposterous."
Seinfeld
"So then what happened?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I was trying to get to my seat, and I had to step over someone..."
Seinfeld
"...and I kind of got pushed, and it spilled on me."
Seinfeld
"- Was there a top on it? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- They put the top on. - And they made the top."
Seinfeld
"You didn't make the top, did you?"
Seinfeld
"Suzy, I want you to go down to Java World."
Seinfeld
"- Have you been to the doctor? - No. No, I haven't."
Seinfeld
"Suzy, call Dr. Bison."
Seinfeld
"- So, what do you think, Mr. Chiles? - Jackie."
Seinfeld
"- Jackie. I mean, we got a chance? - Do we have a chance?"
Seinfeld
"Get me one coffee drinker on that jury..."
Seinfeld
"...you gonna walk out of there a rich man."
Seinfeld
"I don't like it. It's red. It's too flashy."
Seinfeld
"Well, you could use a little flash."
Seinfeld
"All right, don't change me. Susan, don't change me."
Seinfeld
"Name one."
Seinfeld
"Oh, he is impossible to shop for, Uncle Ned."
Seinfeld
"I'm going on vacation to Costa Rica."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, Mr. Ross."
Seinfeld
"- See, now, this I don't get. - What?"
Seinfeld
"Why does he have to stand?"
Seinfeld
"Because he's a security guard."
Seinfeld
"He's gotta be on his feet like that all day? I mean, that's brutal."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna say something to your uncle. - George, you just met him."
Seinfeld
"Don't say anything to him."
Seinfeld
"She's not concerned about the security guard."
Seinfeld
"I'm marrying a person who doesn't care..."
Seinfeld
"All right, George. What do you think?"
Seinfeld
"- So, what did you do last night? - Nothing."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"My lawyer says if there's one coffee drinker on that jury..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm gonna be a rich man."
Seinfeld
"How does he know how all coffee drinkers will vote?"
Seinfeld
"I'm a coffee drinker. If I was on that jury, I wouldn't give you a nickel."
Seinfeld
"Suing a company because their coffee is too hot?"
Seinfeld
"- Coffee is supposed to be hot. - But Jackie says the top was faulty."
Seinfeld
"Jackie says the top was faulty."
Seinfeld
"- I'm in here. How's it going? - Fine."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Bob."
Seinfeld
"It's supposed to be great stuff. It's all herbal."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Maestro, what are you doing? You don't have to do this."
Seinfeld
"You know, you haven't been around for a while."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. I've been at my house in Tuscany."
Seinfeld
"Tuscany, huh? You hear that, Jerry? That's in Italy. Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, if you're thinking of getting a place there, don't bother."
Seinfeld
"There's really nothing available."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - Well, hello."
Seinfeld
"- This is Bob Cobb. - Maestro."
Seinfeld
"- Maestro? - It is my very great pleasure."
Seinfeld
"- I have to get going. - I have to be going."
Seinfeld
"Jinx. Buy me a Coke."
Seinfeld
"- I love it when that happens. - I know, I know. That is so..."
Seinfeld
"- Coincidental. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Okay, bye, you guys. - Yeah, yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Ciao. - Yeah, see you. Oh, hey."
Seinfeld
"Thanks for the balm. Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Because I didn't call him Maestro? - That's right."
Seinfeld
"I feel a little funny calling somebody Maestro."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - It's a stupid thing to be called."
Seinfeld
"He conducts the Policemen's Benevolent Association Orchestra."
Seinfeld
"Well, he's still a conductor."
Seinfeld
"You should see him do Flight of the Bumblebee."
Seinfeld
"He just..."
Seinfeld
"New shirt?"
Seinfeld
"Susan picked that out for you, right?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"All right, what's it gonna be here?"
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you something."
Seinfeld
"When you're in a store, does it bother you..."
Seinfeld
"I can sense the slightest human suffering."
Seinfeld
"It's inhumane to make a man stand on his feet..."
Seinfeld
"...in one spot for eight hours a day."
Seinfeld
"Why shouldn't he have a chair?"
Seinfeld
"What about criminal activity? He's gotta be alert."
Seinfeld
"He can't jump out of the chair? How long does that take?"
Seinfeld
"Look at this. Here, watch. Criminals. Boom, I'm up."
Seinfeld
"Stop it, stop it, stop it."
Seinfeld
"Maybe they offered him a chair and he turned it down."
Seinfeld
"Would you get out of here. Who's gonna turn down a chair?"
Seinfeld
"- Maybe I'll have a talk with him. - I know you will."
Seinfeld
"All this because you spilled coffee on yourself?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's right."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna need a coffee here! Very hot! Boiling!"
Seinfeld
"Gosh, what are you getting, Bob?"
Seinfeld
"Thanks."
Seinfeld
"- Excuse me? - Well, you know, I am a conductor."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. So?"
Seinfeld
"Well, don't you think that he was probably called Maestro..."
Seinfeld
"...while he was conducting. Not in social situations."
Seinfeld
"I mean, his friends probably just called him Lenny."
Seinfeld
"I happen to know for a fact that he was called Maestro in social situations."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Maestro, how about a beer? Okay? So that's a fact."
Seinfeld
"Maestro, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"Maestro."
Seinfeld
"- What do you mean? - I put that Chinese balm on it."
Seinfeld
"- Look, it healed it. - So?"
Seinfeld
"- I thought they wanted to settle. - What happens if they wanna see it?"
Seinfeld
"- Then you're in a lot of trouble. - Yeah!"
Seinfeld
"I couldn't help but notice that you don't have a chair."
Seinfeld
"- I don't need a chair. - I didn't mean to imply you did."
Seinfeld
"You're obviously a very well-proportioned individual."
Seinfeld
"...have they ever offered you a chair?"
Seinfeld
"- No. - Would you like a chair?"
Seinfeld
"- That's exactly my point. - Who wouldn't?"
Seinfeld
"...I'd like to walk in here one day and find you sitting down."
Seinfeld
"That would give me a lot of pleasure."
Seinfeld
"Call me crazy."
Seinfeld
"You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on?"
Seinfeld
"- I guess I screwed up, huh, Jackie? - You're damn right, you screwed up."
Seinfeld
"Where'd you get that damn balm anyway?"
Seinfeld
"- The Maestro. - The who?"
Seinfeld
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