Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Maestro (S07E07)

"And people constantly try to give you coffee."
Seinfeld
"Who's having coffee? Can I get you some coffee?"
Seinfeld
"Then I hear this rabbi on television. I mean, imagine."
Seinfeld
"Why would anyone eat canned fruit?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, can anybody answer that?"
Seinfeld
"- Discount? - One would hope."
Seinfeld
"- Is that Italian coffee? - Yeah, that's right."
Seinfeld
"- Half milk, half coffee? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You take a sip? - Yes, I did."
Seinfeld
"An infringement on your constitutional rights."
Seinfeld
"Did you put the top on, or did they put it on for you?"
Seinfeld
"Get me a café latte with a top."
Seinfeld
"We're gonna run some tests on that top."
Seinfeld
"So did you find anything?"
Seinfeld
"- The security guard. - What about him?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, look at him."
Seinfeld
"Aren't you concerned about the security guard?"
Seinfeld
"What kind of person is this?"
Seinfeld
"Literally nothing. I sat in a chair and I stared."
Seinfeld
"- Wow, that really is nothing. - I told you."
Seinfeld
"What are you dressed up for?"
Seinfeld
"- How's that looking? - I'll tell you how it's looking."
Seinfeld
"Well, you wouldn't be on that jury. He would've weeded you out."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I can be quite litigious."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Maestro. - Kramer."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. Maestro."
Seinfeld
"I just wanted to drop off this Chinese balm for your burns."
Seinfeld
"- Do you believe this Maestro? - It's nothing."
Seinfeld
"I hear it's beautiful there."
Seinfeld
"- And who might you be? - I might be Elaine."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry, he's a conductor. - Oh, conductor?"
Seinfeld
"He sure worked pretty fast with Elaine."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, you like it? - No. Not particularly."
Seinfeld
"- Why? The colour? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"...that they make the security guard stand there all day?"
Seinfeld
"That's why I'm different."
Seinfeld
"Let me just say this."
Seinfeld
"I'd be very interested to know how he felt about all this."
Seinfeld
"- Jackie just called. - Who?"
Seinfeld
"- His lawyer. - Java World wants to settle."
Seinfeld
"- Why are they settling? - They're afraid of bad publicity."
Seinfeld
"And then, about four years ago..."
Seinfeld
"...I was on holiday in Tuscany, and I fell in love with this house."
Seinfeld
"Are you ready to order?"
Seinfeld
"Good question. We'll need a few minutes."
Seinfeld
"I didn't mention it earlier, but, actually, I prefer to be called Maestro."
Seinfeld
"...because he conducted the New York Philharmonic."
Seinfeld
"So he gets to be called Maestro and I don't."
Seinfeld
"Jerry! Jerry!"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, my burn, it's gone, look."
Seinfeld
"So my lawsuit. I'm finished."
Seinfeld
"- Tired? - No."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"Because, I tell you, frankly..."
Seinfeld
"I didn't tell you to. Why'd you put the balm on?"
Seinfeld
"So a maestro tells you to put a balm on, and you do it?"
Seinfeld
"Well, my stomach was burning."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you what this is. It's a public humiliation."
Seinfeld
"All right, I'm sorry, Jackie."
Seinfeld
"What about the name? Did he make you call him Maestro?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I called him Maestro. - You didn't mind?"
Seinfeld
"- I'm not calling you Jerry the Great. - Why not? You call him Maestro."
Seinfeld
"There's nothing to rent,as if he doesn't want anyone else there."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe there aren't any houses to rent there."
Seinfeld
"I say we offer him $50,000, that's it. Take it or leave it."
Seinfeld
"Let's have him examined by a doctor."
Seinfeld
"Listen, the faster we dispose of this, the better."
Seinfeld
"Send them in."
Seinfeld
"- Did I tell you to take it? - No."
Seinfeld
"The Maestro didn't tell you to. He wasn't there."
Seinfeld
"- We were lucky to get anything. - Free coffee?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - I don't want free coffee."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"You didn't find one, did you?"
Seinfeld
"The houses are passed down from generation to generation."
Seinfeld
"I can't get a sublet, a guest room, a cot, nothing?"
Seinfeld
"Come on, Elaine, let's take a ride. I was about to pop in some Verdi."
Seinfeld
"- Who? - Bob Cobb."
Seinfeld
"- Bob Cobb? - You know, the Maestro."
Seinfeld
"Get this, he tells me there are no houses anywhere in Tuscany to rent."
Seinfeld
"- Do you know how big Tuscany is? - I have no idea."
Seinfeld
"- So I spoke to the security guard. - Yeah? And?"
Seinfeld
"It was tough to get a good read..."
Seinfeld
"- Thinking about a barstool. - That'd give him some height."
Seinfeld
"Vinyl, yeah. Maybe."
Seinfeld
"- That's it? - That's it. You want one, George?"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Can I help you?"
Seinfeld
"I'll be taking over this whole place someday..."
Seinfeld
"...so if I were you, I'd stay on my good side."
Seinfeld
"Mr. Ross said this was okay?"
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"Not bad."
Seinfeld
"Not bad at all."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Mr. Ciccio."
Seinfeld
"- No, I didn't actually want to rent it. - The keys. Here are the keys."
Seinfeld
"No, see..."
Seinfeld
"This one."
Seinfeld
"It's been a rough couple of weeks. I really needed to get away."
Seinfeld
"It's paradise."
Seinfeld
"I've never been any place there was no coffee."
Seinfeld
"Waitresses ask, Can I fill it up? Can I warm it up? Can I top it off?"
Seinfeld
"You could lift up a manhole cover:"
Seinfeld
"It has taken over humanity."
Seinfeld
"Coffee anyone? Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to you."
Seinfeld
"I'm really sorry, George."
Seinfeld
"I wasn't jealous of you. It was just the whole marriage thing."
Seinfeld
"You know, I was just a little surprised."
Seinfeld
"You know, I never said that. I said, I've never seen you looser."
Seinfeld
"I could see the can if you're in the Army."
Seinfeld
"It's two aisles over."
Seinfeld
"Well, scintillating as always."
Seinfeld
"- Where you going? - I'm going shopping with Susan."
Seinfeld
"- What kind of shopping? - Clothes shopping."
Seinfeld
"- That's a nice store. - It's her uncle's."
Seinfeld
"...and we stopped off and bought this café latte."
Seinfeld
"When you did, did you notice it was hot?"
Seinfeld
"Could you sip it in your normal fashion?"
Seinfeld
"No, I wasn't able to sip it in my normal fashion."
Seinfeld
"All right, all right."
Seinfeld
"You take big sips?"
Seinfeld
Show more clips