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Clips from Seinfeld - The Merv Griffin Show (S09E09)

"The way I remember it, Cain, he was a successful doctor..."
Seinfeld
"And the chairs."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, this is the set from the old Merv Griffin Show."
Seinfeld
"Come on, get out of there."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, look."
Seinfeld
"Merv Griffin's cigar."
Seinfeld
"You know, I spilled a yogurt smoothie in here two days ago."
Seinfeld
"George, watch out for those pigeons."
Seinfeld
"Oh, they'll get out of the way. You really smell banana?"
Seinfeld
"So..."
Seinfeld
"You're making this up. There was never a Joseph Garnish."
Seinfeld
"Where did you get all these?"
Seinfeld
"SuperBall."
Seinfeld
"...with the full frogman suit."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Now, come here."
Seinfeld
"Whatever they had."
Seinfeld
"Of course we have a deal."
Seinfeld
"They get out of the way of cars..."
Seinfeld
"I thought you were sleeping together."
Seinfeld
"...and she won't let me near it."
Seinfeld
"I don't understand women."
Seinfeld
"Here comes one."
Seinfeld
"That's right. He's a real sidler."
Seinfeld
"...singing that song from The Lion King."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"This chair smells like garbage."
Seinfeld
"A lot of the stars from the '70s..."
Seinfeld
"...they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV."
Seinfeld
"We had a deal."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that was me."
Seinfeld
"And you mentioned that you didn't get a G.I. Joe. You had...."
Seinfeld
"Yes, sit down. Yes."
Seinfeld
"Now, for those of us who don't know, sidling is what?"
Seinfeld
"Not with these honeys."
Seinfeld
"It's our good friend, George Costanza."
Seinfeld
"-Well, it happened again. -What happened?"
Seinfeld
"Now, you and Jerry dated for a while. Tell us..."
Seinfeld
"I don't get these birds. They're breaking the deal."
Seinfeld
"Okay, we're back."
Seinfeld
"I had to swerve out of the way. I saved that pigeon's life."
Seinfeld
"Well, we have no deal with them."
Seinfeld
"You got any booze? What say you and I get ripped."
Seinfeld
"No, thanks. I have a headache."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"Here's the new copy you wanted."
Seinfeld
"I'm very impressed with both of you."
Seinfeld
"...for some special, really tiny instruments."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's by the pound, so about 80 cents."
Seinfeld
"I was just-- I was curious, that's all."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Seinfeld
"El Paso."
Seinfeld
"What's he here for?"
Seinfeld
"Actually, it's kind of a funny story, because she has this toy collection..."
Seinfeld
"...and last night, I got to play with them."
Seinfeld
"She doesn't even know about the toys."
Seinfeld
"I gave her the wrong kind of medicine and I guess she passed out."
Seinfeld
"...what you do with your personal life is your business."
Seinfeld
"But when you're on my set, you clean it up, mister."
Seinfeld
"I told you he was a risk."
Seinfeld
"Oh, like he's not just carrying you, and has been for years."
Seinfeld
"What can I do?"
Seinfeld
"...I thought, What a coincidence, we're just about to eat."
Seinfeld
"What is that stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy?"
Seinfeld
"You know, I rip off the label..."
Seinfeld
"...I can hardly tell the difference."
Seinfeld
"-Doctor, how's the squirrel? -ls he dead?"
Seinfeld
"You have 30 minutes."
Seinfeld
"We just need to know what time you'll be picking him up tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"What's that?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, we're discharging the squirrel. We think he'll be better off at home."
Seinfeld
"He has no home. He's a squirrel."
Seinfeld
"Jerry. Hey. What are you doing tomorrow?"
Seinfeld
"Perfect, a zoo guy. He takes care of animals."
Seinfeld
"Is this amateur hour?"
Seinfeld
"I gotta get to Fowler."
Seinfeld
"Boy, my knuckles are still cramped from that football game."
Seinfeld
"What? It's a victimless crime."
Seinfeld
"I think it's unconscionable."
Seinfeld
"Easy-Bake Oven?"
Seinfeld
"...these past two days, and I could not find the source."
Seinfeld
"...even in the men's room. Shame on you, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"That reminds me of the Haitian voodoo rattle torture."
Seinfeld
"No, Mr. Peterman."
Seinfeld
"...I'll find out about that too."
Seinfeld
"Lou. In here."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Well, then your teeth are green for a different reason."
Seinfeld
"I can't. It burns my cankers."
Seinfeld
"-Again. -Right, right, cankers."
Seinfeld
"-I got it. Chew gum. -I hate gum."
Seinfeld
"The only gum I liked came with the Mickey Mouse gumball machine."
Seinfeld
"Well, stinky, this is your lucky day."
Seinfeld
"Okay, a little later we're gonna be talking with animal expert, Jim Fowler."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jerry..."
Seinfeld
"...you drugged a woman in order to play with her toy collection."
Seinfeld
"How do you feel about that?"
Seinfeld
"What kind of sick, twisted creep are you?"
Seinfeld
"If you think you can drug me and play, you've got another thing coming."
Seinfeld
"Are we getting this?"
Seinfeld
"Sorry about the set."
Seinfeld
"So the squirrel's gonna make it?"
Seinfeld
"On the couch? So you're--"
Seinfeld
"More wine and turkey?"
Seinfeld
"-lf you borrow my blender, return it. -Come on, we're like Cain and Abel."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you know, Cain slew Abel."
Seinfeld
"No, he didn't. They were in business together."
Seinfeld
"Dry wall or something."
Seinfeld
"...while Cain just played in the field."
Seinfeld
"Then when winter came, Abel had all the nuts, Cain had no nuts."
Seinfeld
"So he killed him."
Seinfeld
"...but when he took this special formula, he became Mr. Abel."
Seinfeld
"-lt just didn't work out. -I knew it."
Seinfeld
"Why were you making gravel?"
Seinfeld
"Of course, it's garbage."
Seinfeld
"They must be throwing it out."
Seinfeld
"Or at least in the dumpster behind the Smithsonian."
Seinfeld
"...and the next thing you're yesterday's trash."
Seinfeld
"Can't smell anything, can you?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"...where we eating?"
Seinfeld
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