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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"Mary, Ted is a great guy. You hold on to him."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Don't let him out of your sight for a minute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, wait, I know what you do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're the guy who reads the paper in the morning."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You got me. What do you do, Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, same thing as you. I read the paper every morning."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But then after that, I finish my coffee and I go to my real job as an architect,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"where I make an actual contribution to the world."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm just kidding. Love your show. You're terrific."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, you know that scene in Empire"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you think that's how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You just insulted someone I hate by referencing something I love."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"this girl, despite what she did for a living, was kind of great,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey. - Hey."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mary seems nice. Have you kissed her yet or are you waiting"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And just like that it's all okay. Roll credits."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So you're gonna be mad at me forever? What, we're not even friends now?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- We're still friends. - We're... Are we?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't return my calls. We never hang out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, so now she's a whore?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - You know something?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mary the paralegal is awesome. And you know what else?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I didn't come here tonight to make you jealous."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I like that guy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What were you guys talking about over there?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, I was, uh, just telling my friend that I think you're awesome."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, thanks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You should see the rooms, the views are amazing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Room 1506, my treat. You kids go nuts."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Actually, don't use the minibar."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do it. Come on, Ted, do it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Sleep with a prostitute? - No, lose your virginity. What up!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"are 75% more likely to have success in future relationships."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You just made that up. - Withdrawn."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"First of all, Robin's category is almost up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And second of all, you cannot do this. It's wrong on every level."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And third, I've been placing small items in Sandy's hair all night,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know I can't do this. I'm not doing this. It's just... It's a shame. She's really cool."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yeah, well... Here we go. - All right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"...Brampton for "A Bicycle, Joy Ride or Deathtrap?""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mike Murphy for "Thirteen, Pregnant and Addicted,""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And the winner is Robin Scherbatsky,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thanks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, wow, This is really a surprise,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, it's nice to be able to share this award with my friends,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They're all here tonight,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, Lily, Sandy Rivers..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And that's it, Those are all my friends, Thank you,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Um, Sandy, do you want to get a cab? - Sure. Let's go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We got a room."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Dude, what are you doing? - What's it look like?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It looks bad, is what it looks like, You cannot do this,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, she is a really cool girl when you get to know her,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Besides, I'm trying to make Robin jealous, - Oh, that's real mature,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, what is up with you and Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Nothing, baby, Don't worry about it,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Fine, Do what you want,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yeah. - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, good night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Good night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, did you and Barney ever..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- There's not enough money in the world. - Oh, thank God."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Wow, so they're... - Uh-huh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- So, wait, you and he aren't... - I don't date people I work with."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Is he... - He's off trying to make you jealous."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, well, good for them."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And, you know, if Ted likes her, she's probably pretty cool."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily, I know you're asleep, but I have to tell someone this,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mary's not a paralegal, She's a prostitute,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mary's a prostitute?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney, is that true?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We were having a conversation about prostitution."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then Barney calls her up, and then she shows up at the bar,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and now she and Ted are upstairs."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, seriously, what is going on with Ted, lately?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Is he having a nervous breakdown?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, Barney, for anyone else this would be a new low,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but sadly, for you, it's just a new middle."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God, I used her lipstick. Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's her napkin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EXCLAIMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'd like to announce this evening's big twist ending."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EXCLAIMS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Mary is not really a prostitute.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - That's all, Vampire Lou. Nicely done."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mary is just a paralegal who lives in my building."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh! And here's the best part."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She has no idea that Ted thinks she's a hooker."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BARNEY LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, come on. If you don't laugh, it just seems mean."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Feel kind of like Richard Gere."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Not shy about your looks, are you? - No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, Mary, I've never done this before."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Done what? - You know, been on a date."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Wait, you're kidding, right? - No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why, is that so odd?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, Ted, I mean, I've been going on dates since I was 15."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"God, you were just a kid."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I had clients riding me all day long."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Must be tough. - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, this one guy just wouldn't leave me alone."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, talk about anal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Here we are."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, look. Mary, I like you a lot."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm not gonna have sex with a prostitute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, I'm a paralegal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Come on, Mary, there's no one else around."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're a hooker."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, Ted. I'm a paralegal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, you're a hooker."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're a paralegal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- That was not funny. - Not funny, dude."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know. It was hilarious."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Why would you do that? - I did it to prove a point."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCOFFS) What point?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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