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Clips from Batman - Fine Feathered Finks (S01E01)

"I had him rushed down by helicopter."
Batman
"Good morning, good morning."
Batman
"Warden Crichton, good to see you."
Batman
"Warden, the dynamic duo."
Batman
"- Pleased, I'm sure. - The honor is ours, Warden."
Batman
"I've long been a deep admirer of your fine work"
Batman
"in reforming criminals."
Batman
"Well, we've had our little victories."
Batman
"Our little failures too, alas."
Batman
"How would you rate the Penguin?"
Batman
"I'll let you judge that for yourself, Batman."
Batman
"- Indeed. - Judge for myself?"
Batman
"By means of video tape."
Batman
"It's one of my new progressive policies, you see."
Batman
"Before releasing a felon, I assign him to a special cell"
Batman
"into which is built a secret television camera."
Batman
"It enables us to study the extent"
Batman
"to which he's reformed, if any."
Batman
"I took the liberty of leaving it"
Batman
"at your communications center when I arrived."
Batman
"They're waiting for your signal, Commissioner Gordon."
Batman
"Roll Warden Crichton's video tape on the closed circuit."
Batman
"Holy haberdashery!"
Batman
"That can't be regulation prison uniform, can it?"
Batman
"It's another of my progressive policies, Boy Wonder."
Batman
"During the last week before release I permit the prisoners"
Batman
"to wear their own clothing."
Batman
"It helps acclimate them to the outside world."
Batman
"Sound penology, Warden. Very sound."
Batman
"Listen! The baleful bird is about to chirp."
Batman
"How irritating. Here I am due to be released tomorrow"
Batman
"and I still haven't worked out one single crime"
Batman
"worthy of my talents."
Batman
"My whole stay in this disgusting prison is wasted."
Batman
"Yeah. Well, that's the way it bounces, Penguin."
Batman
"Some years are just a blind spot out of a guy's life."
Batman
"Hey, wait a minute. My mother-in-law."
Batman
"'She owns a candy store.'"
Batman
"You could always knock that over if you wanna."
Batman
"What? A candy store?"
Batman
"I'm an aristocrat of crookery, my dear man."
Batman
"No, I must devise something royal, unsuspected, sensational."
Batman
"A keeper that'll make that Batman blow his brains out."
Batman
"'Yeah, that Batman.'"
Batman
"'He's sure some kind of pest, ain't he?'"
Batman
"Say, do you ever stop to think, Penguin.."
Batman
"If only the Batman was a crook instead of a law guy."
Batman
"'Boy, oh, boy.'"
Batman
"'We'd turn his world inside out.'"
Batman
"What did you say?"
Batman
"Oh, I was just thinking out loud, Penguin."
Batman
"I said, if only the Batman was like us, a crook."
Batman
"Wait. Wait!"
Batman
"Thoughts swingin'."
Batman
"Oh, great heavenly sunshades."
Batman
"I have it! It's fantastical scheme."
Batman
"It's hatched full blown."
Batman
"U-day."
Batman
"U for Umbrella day."
Batman
"Oh, what a dazzling plot."
Batman
"Hold it, Penguin, hold it. Look up there."
Batman
"Behind that phony spider web."
Batman
"Ooh, yes."
Batman
"Secret TV eyes.."
Batman
"Well, goodnight, big brother."
Batman
"Yes, I'm afraid you'll have to unravel the rest of my plot"
Batman
"by yourself!"
Batman
"Any thoughts, Batman?"
Batman
"On the whole, I think we'd better discard my theory"
Batman
"about the Penguin's going straight."
Batman
"Where did I go wrong?"
Batman
"Why did my progressive policies fail?"
Batman
"With an attitude like his"
Batman
"I'm amazed he was turned loose at all."
Batman
"Uh, Warden. Ours is a rule of law, Boy Wonder."
Batman
"When a man has paid his debt to society, he must be released."
Batman
"Gosh, yes. That was a pretty dumb remark of mine."
Batman
"Don't fret about it, old man."
Batman
"The important thing is to get on the Penguins trail fast."
Batman
"I'll put out a four points Bulletin."
Batman
"Wait. I've got a better idea."
Batman
"'Yes?'"
Batman
"The Penguin told us on that secret tape."
Batman
"Whatever his dazzling plot is, it involves umbrellas."
Batman
"- So, he'll need a front. - Right."
Batman
"Quickly, commissioner, send for the city records."
Batman
"in the last three days."
Batman
"Three new umbrella factories."
Batman
"None of them unfortunately, in the name of Penguin."
Batman
"It's a dead end."
Batman
"Could he be using an alias?"
Batman
"Good thinking, Robin."
Batman
"Chief, read me the names of those umbrella factory licenses."
Batman
"Here's RL Howard, KG Bird, EP Sherlock."
Batman
"Bird?"
Batman
"K-G Bird."
Batman
"Cagey bird!"
Batman
"The Penguin! Get it?"
Batman
"Get it? Why, it's practically transparent."
Batman
"Address. 196 West, Seventh Avenue."
Batman
"Let's go."
Batman
"Meanwhile, atop the umbrella factory"
Batman
"we find the sinister secret headquarters"
Batman
"of the rascally penguin and his fine feathered finks."
Batman
"The most fantastic gimmick in my whole criminal career."
Batman
"Yeah."
Batman
"Hmm, now, I wonder what time it is."
Batman
"At the signal the time will be precisely 11:56."
Batman
"[quacking]"
Batman
"Now, Hawkeye, give the go ahead to swoop at the bank."
Batman
"Okay, boss."
Batman
"Maybe, I'm dumb, Penguin, but I don't dig this caper."
Batman
"Oh, it's very simple, my little gosling."
Batman
"I'm going to unleash the most bizarre, senseless"
Batman
"barrage of umbrellas onto Gotham City."
Batman
"It'll be senseless to everybody, but the Batman."
Batman
"Whose keen mind will unquestionably"
Batman
"piece together the clues to my crime."
Batman
"Well, what crime?"
Batman
"What the heck are you planning?"
Batman
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