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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Grand Opening (S03E03)

"- Susie Greene. - Really?"
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"Yeah, and this time the excuse was she had to go to the dentist."
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"- Maybe she had to go to the dentist. - Okay, that's bullshit."
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"That's the adult equivalent of "The dog ate my homework.""
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"If she doesn't want to go to lunch, why doesn't she say,"
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""You know what? I'd rather not go to lunch with you"?"
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"Listen, are you going to your office tomorrow?"
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"- What do you want? - I saw the osteopath about my cough"
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"It's actually called "colon cleanse.""
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"than the swill they serve in this place."
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"- This place is gonna close in two days. - All because of this."
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"- Isn't that clever? - Yeah."
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"It's real original, the thumbs down."
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"I know, it's so subjective, isn't it?"
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"Jeff's not gonna say anything."
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"about going to the dentist?"
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"- The what? - The colon cleanse."
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"Okay. It's around the corner, right there."
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"That's the chef."
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"You got hired under false pretenses."
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"You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Let's go."
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"You would've loved that fat guy, don't tell me."
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"All things being equal, I'd hire the fat guy."
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"You have a bald accountant,"
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"a bald urologist, a bald travel agent."
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"Okay, I notice. It's duly noted."
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"I knew you were gonna say that."
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"what just happened, we have no chef. This just stinks."
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"Another kid in class is, and a lot of the boys"
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"Sorry."
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"Well, the guy was full of shit."
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"- Ted's gone. - Ted Danson is gone."
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"- Let's not change the subject because... - "Ascertain.""
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"I'll apologize. It's not gonna..."
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"Because I can't do "thumbs up, thumbs down.""
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"- Oh, what a shame. - Yeah, well."
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"that you're gonna miss the opening of the restaurant."
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"I got to get this guy's name."
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"- Guy Bernier? - Guy Bernier."
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"Hey, look, I'm happy to do it. No hard feelings, honestly."
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"It's spaghetti with marinara sauce and some cheese."
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"or something I could eat, you know, like through a straw?"
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"I'm fucking hungry, so order me something. I don't care what it is."
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"No, come on now, really, honestly."
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"Oh, Andy! Oh my gosh, I'm sorry."
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"And that problem is with salmon."
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"- Okay. - Thank you very much."
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"- We're thrilled to have you. - I am thrilled too."
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"- So, okay, bye. - See you tomorrow."
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"I bet he got a ticket."
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"Ugh, it's dirty. All of it."
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"Not now."
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"- Down, down-nn... ...from that colon cleanse."
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"Outstanding."
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"How long do you think this is gonna last?"
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"How long is this thing supposed to take? Do you know?"
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"- Are we stuck in this thing? - We're not moving."
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"Hey!"
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"- Hey! - Oh my God."
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"Seriously, I'm seriously starting to..."
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"- I got to go, I really got to go. - Just hold on a second."
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"Glen... Glen-Rock!"
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"What?"
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"I said I'm stuck in your car wash!"
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"- Tell them it's an emergency. - It's an emer..."
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"Turn off your car wash!"
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"- What are they saying? - Call back later."
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"Oh God, Larry, I can't wait. I got to go."
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"A car wash? Who gets stuck in a car wash?"
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"- I'm telling you the truth. - I believe you,"
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"that you want to put on the table"
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"Put in a pit plate or an ashtray or something."
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"A pit plate? Why don't you call it a garbage plate?"
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"in such a restaurant of quality, huh?"
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"- It's fantastic. - Oh, it's an honor."
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"Of course he would."
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"The joke's on us 'cause we need to find another chef."
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"We're gonna be known as "the restaurant"
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"- Oh my God. - Of course you couldn't fire him."
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"Yeah, I'm not gonna fire a survivor."
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"but I don't get the reference at all."
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"Well, maybe he won't curse tonight."
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"Why is he cursing in English? "Mutherfuck-erre.""
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"Listen, can I just tell you, before we even get there,"
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"You know? I mean, what am I gonna do?"
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"Really, that's what you should do."
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"All right, let's get out of here."
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"- Wow. It works. - Yeah, it works."
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"- Hi. Great. - What do you think?"
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"Eat your heart out, Ted Danson. That's all I have to say."
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"Cheers."
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"Yeah, cheers. Where's your wife?"
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"- She'll be here in a little while. - Uh-huh."
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"- Any outbursts? - So far, so good."
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"Hey, there's my dad! Hello!"
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"Pilaf. It's delicious."
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"- Bon soir. - Ah, bon soir, how are you, eh?"
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"The place is a big success for you."
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"- One number? - Yes, one!"
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"I was one number off in the lottery."
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"What do you think you are doing, cooking a goat?"
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"to do something good for somebody like that."
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"Scum-sucking, motherfucking whore!"
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"Cock! Cock, jism!"
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"Cunt, piss, shit, bugger and balls!"
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"I had a dental appointment!"
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"Fellatio, cunnilingus, French kissing!"
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"Rim job."
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"Schmuck, putz, tuchuslecker!"
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"Balls!"
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"Boy cock, girl cock, e-i-e-i-o."
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"It's something a Kentucky farmer says she's never seen before..."
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"a hen taking newborn puppies under her wing."
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"So guess who canceled lunch with me again?"
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"I'm not making anymore dates with her. She's done it to me before."
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"Maybe she was telling the truth."
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"Can you do me a favor?"
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"Maybe."
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"- Can't you just say yes? - No."
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"What kind of favor am I gonna ask you wouldn't say yes to?"
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