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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - Motel Review (S03E03)

"Well, where are you off to?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"To pick up the motel coasters."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Yeah, custom coasters"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"are a very effective marketing tool."
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"- Coasters work. - Yes, the last thing we want to do"
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"is stain these exquisite table tops."
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"you glance down at your coaster,"
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"it says, "tweet us on Facebook!""
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"okay, I think I will."
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"Yes David, that's what it says,"
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"you're not the only one with an online presence."
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"- No, no... - Well, aren't you Mr. Futuristic!"
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"Listen, we had samples made."
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"Take a look."
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"Oh, wow!"
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"Aren't we stuck in the Dark Ages."
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"Huh? Let me break it down for you, junior."
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"Oh."
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"Hmm, that might be something you'd wanna put on there."
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"Or a Facebook page."
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"All right, let me write this down."
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"Hi, sorry to bother you."
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"he's gone to get coasters."
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"- Did he?! - It's just that we have um,"
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"a bunch of guests checking in,"
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"and I could really use some help."
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"- Now! - Now?"
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"Well then, I am here for you, Stevie."
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"Uh, let's see..."
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"something in a supervisory capacity, perhaps?"
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"Then you can work the front desk."
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"The other option is changing the sheets,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and mattress covers."
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"Alexis, do you mind sticking around for a minute?"
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"I'm assuming that you know why I wanna talk to you today?"
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"I wanna talk about your paper."
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"There are parts of this that sound like"
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"I'm saying that I think it's plagiarized."
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"Are you sure that you wrote this yourself?"
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"Trust me, if I could've gotten someone else"
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"to write this, I would've."
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"I definitely wrote this."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"For example,"
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"the duplicitousness of such businesses,"
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"whose practices, or lack thereof,"
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"can only be described as untoward.""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Duplicitousness?!"
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"I can barely say that."
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"And untoward?"
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"Okay, yeah, no, I did not write this."
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"Okay, here's what we're gonna do."
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"Hi. You're gonna write a new paper,"
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"and I am gonna grade that one instead."
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"Otherwise it's a fail."
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"Okay, like, I didn't even choose this font!"
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"It's horrible."
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"But don't really look at her, look at me."
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"Look at her, and look at me."
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"Closer."
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"Yeah, we had an appointment this morning."
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"Okay, here we go, one, two..."
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"Uh remind me, are you here for a photo series,"
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"or travel planning,"
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"or our newest service,"
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"closet organization?"
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"Oh, that's right. Patrick!"
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"Uh, B13."
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"- Patrick. - David."
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"- That's a big deal. - Is it?"
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"Yeah, it's pretty big."
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"Yeah, you wanna have a seat?"
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"Your parents tell me you're very sporty,"
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"Oh um, I'm oscillating"
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"between two names at the moment,"
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"- that would be great. - Sure, sure."
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"Give you more time to... oscillate."
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"Um, business address?"
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"Okay, so I'm working on that."
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"Um, I'm currently staying in a motel,"
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"and I think it might be confusing if I gave you"
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"the address to another business."
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"Y-Yeah, for sure."
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"I don't know what that means."
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"Hey, here's an easy one."
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"A brief description of the business."
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"Um well, it's-um,"
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"it's a General Store,"
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"but it's also a very specific store."
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"- Huh. - And it's also not just a store,"
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"it's like a place where people can come and get coffee,"
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"um, or drinks, but it's not a coffee shop,"
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"nor is it a bar."
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"Okay, so we're pretty clear on what it's not."
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"Yeah, it's an environment. Um..."
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"And yes, we will be selling things,"
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"more like a branded immersive experience."
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"but I do need to put something down here."
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"I'll tell you what. Why don't you take these home with you,"
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"and just fill them out when you have a..."
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"a clearer idea of what you want to do with your business."
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"Okay, um..."
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"I do have a clear idea."
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"Oh! You've settled on a name, then?"
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"Um... you're either very impatient,"
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"or extremely sure of yourself."
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"Yeah, again, I don't know what that means,"
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"I don't play cricket."
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"Look, take this, it's my card,"
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"and I feel like you will need it."
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"Uh, you know what, I think I'm good."
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"Um, so thank you for this."
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"It's nice to meet you, David."
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"Okay Teresa, remember to breathe!"
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"I'd like to check in, please."
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"Oh my God, where did you come from?"
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"Here you go, room three."
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"Uh, don't you need my credit card?"
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"Also, how many beds are in the room?"
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"Two."
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"Would it be possible to get a cot,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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