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Clips from Blackadder (1982) - Born to Be King (S01E01)

"Wessex, while they're away, take 10,000 troops and pillage Geneva."
Blackadder (1982)
"But the Swiss are our allies."
Blackadder (1982)
"in sympathy for his son."
Blackadder (1982)
"— The one you had murdered? — Yes."
Blackadder (1982)
"— My Lord.. — Will you get away from me!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Ha, ha, Harry, the gentle art of diplomacy."
Blackadder (1982)
"But you know where the real secret of diplomacy lies?"
Blackadder (1982)
"I don't. But I'd like to know."
Blackadder (1982)
"Let me explain. What's that for?"
Blackadder (1982)
"A couple of things."
Blackadder (1982)
"Correct. One of those things is?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Best not mentioned."
Blackadder (1982)
"Right! And the other is fornication."
Blackadder (1982)
"Without it, there's no marriage. Without that, there's no diplomacy."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, I see."
Blackadder (1982)
"Very good. Let me explain further."
Blackadder (1982)
"The answer of course is, Chiswick, Spain!"
Blackadder (1982)
"The best way to cement an alliance is marriage."
Blackadder (1982)
"Therefore I've decided that you shall marry the Spanish Infanta!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Chiswick) Congratulations."
Blackadder (1982)
"Actually, I don't think I can."
Blackadder (1982)
"Why not?"
Blackadder (1982)
"I am already engaged."
Blackadder (1982)
"Princess Leia of Hungary, Grand Duchess Ursula of Brandenburg,"
Blackadder (1982)
"and Queen Beowulfa of Iceland and..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Countess Caroline of Luxembourg,"
Blackadder (1982)
"Bertha of Flanders, Bertha of Brussels,"
Blackadder (1982)
"Bernard of Saxe—Coburg and Jezabel of Estonia."
Blackadder (1982)
"No, no, no, sorry, that should be..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Damn, damn, damn, damn!"
Blackadder (1982)
"If 1 haven't got a son to marry her, the whole plan falls apart."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Your Majesty. — Yes!"
Blackadder (1982)
"You do have another son, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"What?"
Blackadder (1982)
"My God, of course, you're right."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Osmond can marry the Infanta! — (Harry) Excellent idea!"
Blackadder (1982)
"With a Spanish alliance,"
Blackadder (1982)
"By dividing their forces into two!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Preferably their top halves from their bottom halves!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Ow."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Morning, My Lord. — Morning."
Blackadder (1982)
"What's happened to your neck?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Huh?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Er, w—w—w—well..."
Blackadder (1982)
"They're love bites, actually."
Blackadder (1982)
"Look more like dog bites to me."
Blackadder (1982)
"(Nervous giggle)"
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, yes, she was...a bit of an animal."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Oh, yes. — Fight to the death, eh?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes. As my tutor, Old Bubble Face, used to say,"
Blackadder (1982)
""Make love and be merry,"
Blackadder (1982)
""for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease.”"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Edmund laughs)"
Blackadder (1982)
"I'd swear those were dog bites."
Blackadder (1982)
"They are not dog bites!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Yeah, shiny coat, wet nose, clear eyes."
Blackadder (1982)
"Right, now that's sorted out."
Blackadder (1982)
"Percy, what are we up to today?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, My Lord..."
Blackadder (1982)
"First I thought that you and I..."
Blackadder (1982)
"might get out a couple of prisoners..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Actually, they look rather like dog bites."
Blackadder (1982)
"A woman pushed me off a rampart, finding me hideously ugly,"
Blackadder (1982)
"and I got ravaged by a rabid dog. Satisfied?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Yes, My Lord. — Good. Excellent."
Blackadder (1982)
"Good. Right."
Blackadder (1982)
"Right, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"We might... So it wasn't a woman?"
Blackadder (1982)
"No, a dog, a dog, a bloody great dog!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Right, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"Harry gets all the women."
Blackadder (1982)
"— And dogs? — Or dogs. Shut up, you."
Blackadder (1982)
"I never want to see a woman again."
Blackadder (1982)
"If a woman wants to talk to me, warn her."
Blackadder (1982)
"The Black Adder is a venomous reptile"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Knock at door)"
Blackadder (1982)
"Enter! If you're a woman,"
Blackadder (1982)
"prepare to be thrown out of the window."
Blackadder (1982)
"My Lord, I bring a message."
Blackadder (1982)
"You're engaged to be married to the Infanta Maria of Spain."
Blackadder (1982)
"My Lord, I bring a message. You are..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Ah."
Blackadder (1982)
"Go on, get out. Get, get out, out, out!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Well, boys, did you hear that? — (Baldrick) Mmm."
Blackadder (1982)
"I am to marry the Infanta of Spain."
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes, My Lord. Shall I go and tell her?"
Blackadder (1982)
"What?"
Blackadder (1982)
"The Black Adder is a venomous reptile..."
Blackadder (1982)
"No, no, no, no, no!"
Blackadder (1982)
"This is a beautiful royal princess."
Blackadder (1982)
"(Percy and Baldrick howl like dogs)"
Blackadder (1982)
"Ah, bienvenida a nuestro castillo."
Blackadder (1982)
"Espero que encuentre los deshagues a su satisfaction."
Blackadder (1982)
"(Laughs nervously)"
Blackadder (1982)
"Hmm?"
Blackadder (1982)
"It's Spanish for "Welcome to our castle,"
Blackadder (1982)
""I hope the drains are to your satisfaction.”"
Blackadder (1982)
"I don't think you know the Countess Caroline of Luxembourg."
Blackadder (1982)
"Er, no, er, how do you do, young lady?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Luxembourg! Ha!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Have you ever seen anyone so seething with jealousy?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— No. — Seethe, seethe."
Blackadder (1982)
"Baldrick, what are you talking about?"
Blackadder (1982)
"They say that the Infanta's eyes are more beautiful"
Blackadder (1982)
"The what?"
Blackadder (1982)
"The famous Stone of Galveston, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, it's a famous blue stone"
Blackadder (1982)
"and it comes...from Galveston."
Blackadder (1982)
"I see. And what about it?"
Blackadder (1982)
"I see. Have you ever seen this stone?"
Blackadder (1982)
"But I know people who have and they say it's very blue indeed."
Blackadder (1982)
"— And neither have you. — No, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"What you're telling me is that something you have never seen"
Blackadder (1982)
"is slightly less blue than something else you have never seen."
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes, My Lord."
Blackadder (1982)
"Percy, you are as much use to me as a hole in the head."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Hello! — Hello."
Blackadder (1982)
"Here I am, awaiting the arrival of the beautiful, ravishing..."
Blackadder (1982)
"Leave me alone, I'm trying to talk to someone."
Blackadder (1982)
"(Lady speaks Spanish)"
Blackadder (1982)
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