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Clips from We Are Lady Parts - Play Something (S01E01)

"- Sure, he had dementor vibes,"
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"- We're getting a lead guitarist; it's decided."
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"when I married him; no offence."
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"- See, you're the most exquisite creature"
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"- Hi."
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"So, yeah, that is me,"
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"Amina Hussein, 26, Capricorn,"
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"finishing a Ph.D. in microbiology."
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"That is Mum, Dad, parental unit, standard."
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"They didn't always come with me to meet potential spouses."
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"This guy insisted."
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"So do you have any hobbies, aside from worship?"
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"- Worship is not a hobby."
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"- Yes. No, of course. Duh."
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"[nervous laughter]"
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"- Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea?"
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"all: Mm."
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"but his eyes were actually kind of...dreamy."
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"With the shoulders of a Mesopotamian warlord."
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"Our eyes meet across the sand dunes."
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"[dramatic music]"
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"- Ahh!"
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"- Do you always dress like this?"
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"Bright colours and everything?"
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"- Oh, no, no, she's-- she's usually much more modest."
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"And her skin is usually a lot clearer,"
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"but she's, you know, pre-menstrual."
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"- Well, she sweats a lot."
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"I mean, but she's very fastidious."
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"- Please stop."
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"- Have you been on hajj? - Not yet."
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"- Soon. - Inshallah."
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"- Amina, why don't you play everyone a song?"
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"- What? all: What?"
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"- Well, she's playing"
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"at the Syrian children's fundraiser..."
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"- No. - At the town hall."
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"- Please stop."
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"- Music is haram. - Totes, innit?"
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"Yeah, I'm not actually playing."
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"My kids are playing."
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"- You have children? - No!"
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"I teach guitar"
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"to underprivileged youth-- charity."
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"The kids are playing at the fundraiser, not me."
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"I--I don't perform."
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"- No, you don't have to worry."
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"She hates playing in public. Huh?"
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"- Her nervy disposition induces diarrhoea and vomiting."
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"- What was that song you used to play?"
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"[singing in Hindi]"
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"[both singing in Hindi]"
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"- Okay, so my husband quest was going fairly disastrously."
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"Little did I know, things were about to change, big time."
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"One, two, three, four!"
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"[rock music]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"- ♪ I'm gonna kill my sister ♪"
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"- ♪ Gonna ♪"
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"- ♪ This ain't about you ♪"
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"♪ It's between her and me ♪"
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"♪ She stole my eyeliner ♪"
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"- ♪ What a bitch ♪"
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"- ♪ And she's been stretching my jeans out with her ♪"
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"both: ♪ Fucking big back ♪"
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"♪ It's an honour killing, it's an honour killing ♪"
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"♪ It's an honour killing, it's an honour killing ♪"
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"- ♪ I'm gonna kill my sister ♪"
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"- ♪ Die! Die! Die! ♪"
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"- ♪ Want to kill her mister ♪"
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"- ♪ She's mine, motherfucker ♪"
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"- Lady Parts. That was the band name."
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"Concocting a confused mix of hash anthems"
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"and sour girl power."
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"One part boredom, two parts identity crisis."
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"♪ ♪"
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"No. No. No. Stop. Stop."
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"- Why are we stopping? - We sound wank."
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"Profoundly wank. - Harsh assessment."
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"- No, you know what? We sound worse than wank."
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"- What's worse than wank? - Haemorrhoids."
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"- You know what, I think we sound great."
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"- Boris Johnson? - No."
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"We sound shit. On a cosmic level."
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"- Athlete's foot. Puberty. Camel toe."
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"The Plague. Black lung. Vegan cheese."
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"- Shut up, Taz. - We can't audition"
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"for Sound Smash sounding like this."
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"- You said that last year."
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"- Maybe the universe is ready for our vibes, man."
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"- No. No. - Why do you have to be"
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"such an epic bonerkill all the time?"
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"- We are not ready."
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"Can't you hear our sound is thin?"
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"We need something more."
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"We need a lead guitarist."
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"[drumsticks clatter] - Saira."
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"I beg you, man, don't start this again."
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"- Start what again?"
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"- Sisters, huh?"
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"With mutual love and admiration,"
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"we lift each other up, yeah?"
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"- Feminism, innit? Hmm?"
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"- Dickless. Le Tigre."
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"Babes in Toyland. Great three-piece bands."
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"Blink-182."
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"- Blink? Blink? - Yeah, Blink?"
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"- Seriously, Blink? - Okay fine, not Blink."
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"- You know, I think getting a lead guitarist"
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"could be a good shot."
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"Historically, four-piece bands"
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"do have a higher success rate."
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"Like Metallica, Rolling Stones,"
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"Beatles."
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"- We're in a punk band."
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"We don't need a wanky, self-indulgent guitar soloist"
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"just jizzing all over our songs."
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"- Eh. Ugh."
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"♪ ♪"
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"- Who would have thought that our orbits"
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