Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 30 Rock - Secrets and Lies (S02E02)

"Hi."
30 Rock
"It's actually a rape whistle but the whistle part fell off,"
30 Rock
"and I just liked how it looked so I kept it."
30 Rock
"I will leave you to it."
30 Rock
"Of course."
30 Rock
"I call the movie "Risky Business" "Risky lt.""
30 Rock
"Because "it" means business."
30 Rock
"Lemon out."
30 Rock
"You were not graduated from that institution."
30 Rock
"so I think I got the full Harvard experience."
30 Rock
"That does sound pretty accurate."
30 Rock
"and you do not want to make a Harvard man angry."
30 Rock
"Lemon."
30 Rock
"That woman you met this morning in my office"
30 Rock
"is not a colleague of mine."
30 Rock
"unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza.""
30 Rock
"Wait. Isn't she that congresswoman that's..."
30 Rock
"Trying to destroy this company"
30 Rock
"for allegedly turning some children orange?"
30 Rock
"Yes. And therein lies the dilemma."
30 Rock
"This corporation has a very strict "bros before hos" policy."
30 Rock
"Wow, so you must really have some serious feelings for her."
30 Rock
"Okay, if I can't say "lovers," you can't say "feelings.""
30 Rock
"But, yes, it is serious,"
30 Rock
"and in spite everything,"
30 Rock
"I want her to meet some of my friends."
30 Rock
"So I'm going to hold a dinner party,"
30 Rock
"Wow, that's very nice. Thank you, Jack."
30 Rock
"I just want you to be discreet."
30 Rock
"And try not to dress like a small-town lesbian."
30 Rock
"Oh, come on!"
30 Rock
"I don't have that. Very hairy."
30 Rock
"Well, I did. Do you remember when I filmed"
30 Rock
"that movie version of the "Mystic Pizza" musical?"
30 Rock
"Do I? I don't."
30 Rock
"Hey, that's great!"
30 Rock
"How long are we going to talk about this stupid award?"
30 Rock
"You guys need to anticipate me."
30 Rock
"Okay. Forget it."
30 Rock
"Ugh, it's gonna be one of those weeks."
30 Rock
"Oh, monsters, why did I create you?"
30 Rock
"for that animated movie we did."
30 Rock
"It'll be a slam dunk!"
30 Rock
"A million dollars, a yellow Bentley, and nothing."
30 Rock
"I never win anything!"
30 Rock
"Look at this coffee cup my kids got me for Father's Day."
30 Rock
"I'm a failure, Liz Lemon."
30 Rock
"Maybe I should just give up and try this crystal meth"
30 Rock
"No, no, no, you don't have to do that."
30 Rock
"You won an award. Did I not tell you?"
30 Rock
"Come on, Lemon."
30 Rock
"Yes. You are getting a lifetime achievement award"
30 Rock
"from the Pacific Rim Emmys."
30 Rock
"I fell in love with their culture,"
30 Rock
"especially sharking."
30 Rock
"What's sharking?"
30 Rock
"It's when you run up on a lady on the streets"
30 Rock
"and pull her tube top down"
30 Rock
"while your friend videotapes it."
30 Rock
"Hell, yeah!"
30 Rock
"to keep that guy happy."
30 Rock
"I know."
30 Rock
"I don't have to treat you that way because you're the sane one."
30 Rock
"If you were actually a member of the Signet Society,"
30 Rock
"Oh, you mean this pin?"
30 Rock
"'Cause I have to arrange for a snake nanny."
30 Rock
"Oh, I didn't think you were actually gonna go."
30 Rock
"The awards ceremony is tonight,"
30 Rock
"No! I told my kids they could come see their dad get an award."
30 Rock
"So it has to at least be live via satellite."
30 Rock
"Oh, but it's a really big time difference."
30 Rock
"It'll be, like, 4:00 in the morning here."
30 Rock
"Newark's first offshore gentlemen's barge."
30 Rock
"I'll set that up."
30 Rock
"Really? You're gonna do that?"
30 Rock
"Liz Lemon know who keeps the lights on around here."
30 Rock
"That's why I want you and Josh to be there for my award."
30 Rock
"Then afterwards, maybe I'll let you hold it."
30 Rock
"Then you can check out my award. Ha ha ha!"
30 Rock
"Banter!"
30 Rock
"You're the one who rewards his bad behavior."
30 Rock
"You give him anything he wants."
30 Rock
"Me? I can't even get a real exterminator"
30 Rock
"to get that squirrel out of my dressing room."
30 Rock
"No, no! Ow!"
30 Rock
"and are in the dining room."
30 Rock
"Hi, Liz."
30 Rock
"We had a longer invite list,"
30 Rock
"but we thought for the sake of discretion..."
30 Rock
"or connections or stature, so that pretty much left you."
30 Rock
"What's your favorite pizza topping?"
30 Rock
"Mine's plain, but I like others."
30 Rock
"I have to say,"
30 Rock
"you are the most beautiful woman in this room right now."
30 Rock
"Liz."
30 Rock
"Okay, let's fake this."
30 Rock
"People of the Pacific Rim, how you feel?"
30 Rock
"this Josh dude,"
30 Rock
"bald-headed Pete for setting up the satellite,"
30 Rock
"and, of course, a very special blond lady."
30 Rock
"Shelley Long, you're truly an inspiration to me!"
30 Rock
"for all that you've given us."
30 Rock
"I'm so humiliated."
30 Rock
"How could Tracy not thank me?"
30 Rock
"go home, get dressed, come in here,"
30 Rock
"Jenna, the whole thing is fake."
30 Rock
"But I did hear the janitor saying your boobs looked good."
30 Rock
"I don't want to hear it, Liz."
30 Rock
"Apparently, the only way to get respect around here"
30 Rock
"is to act like Tracy."
30 Rock
"And that's exactly what I'm gonna do."
30 Rock
"so I can lock myself in it."
30 Rock
"I hope you had fun last night."
30 Rock
"I did."
30 Rock
"This is that chick who..."
30 Rock
"Venus Williams."
30 Rock
"Remember that time you fell asleep?"
30 Rock
"Captain Beefheart."
30 Rock
"It's like we share a brain."
30 Rock
"I'm sorry you got stuck with Kenneth."
30 Rock
Show more clips